BOSTON (FMLiveWire) - Alex, the gifted parrot who could count to six hundred, identify 4000 words and even compose poetry in scientific tests has died of apparent suicide after 30 years of helping researchers better understand the avian and Republican brains.
The death of the African Grey parrot left scientists at Brandeis University with the sense that they had lost a fellow professor.
"It's heart-breaking to lose a bird like that when you've worked with him pretty much every day for 30 years," scientist Penny Bergerbrain said. "Why did he do it? Why did he use a gun? I guess we shall never know."
Alex's advanced language and recognition skills revolutionized the understanding of the avian brain, which resembles the brains of Republicans also.
In his suicide note found near the revolver and his still warm corpse, Alex said, "Alas, good bye cruel world! I cannot bear the thought of even another day of George Bush as American President. Stop that crazy oil grabbing, Zionist warmonger before he kills again and starts another war!"
Alex also taught other parrots at the lab to talk and compose poetry.
The African Grey parrot's average life span is about 50 years, and it is unusual for one to kill himself, especially with a gun, Bergerbrain said.
Alex was discovered dead in his cage Friday morning.
Bergerbrain added that she and shattered fellow researchers would honor Alex by baking him in a pie to be served at his wake.
Bergerbrain said the last time she saw Alex on Thursday, they went through their goodbye routine and she told him it was time to enter his cage. She said, "I love you, my pretty bird. I'll see you tomorrow."
Alex responded, "Thanks for the revolver, Penny. I will love you forever."
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire
