Connolly out until the New Year

Written by Kent Pete

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

image for Connolly out until the New Year
Connolly...A bit thin on top perhaps.

Sunderland striker David Connolly has suffered a fresh setback in his attempt to return from injury - and is likely to need a further three months on the treatment couch.

The 30-year-old who has not played since April, had a Rhinoplasty in May to correct an unsightly broken nose and recently decided to have a Browlift at the Hurlingham Clinic for Plastic Surgery in London.

"I have just turned 30 so I suppose it was a psychological thing. I just thought I was beginning to look old and didn't want to walk out in front of 40,000 people looking like a sack of shite. I'm also considering Liposuction as my tummy has become a bit flabby so I might be out of action until at least early 2008 . I'm going to speak to the boss about it tomorrow. My hair is beginning to recede but realistically that will have to wait . I'll just have to wear some kind of hair piece until the close season."

Roy Keane was unavailable for comment yesterday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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