Sen. Brownback: Eh, America Is Not That Great

Funny story: Sen. Brownback: Eh, America Is Not That Great

WASHINGTON, DC -- Republican Senator and 2008 presidential candidate Sam Brownback sent shock waves throughout the nation with comments in a recent interview on CNN describing his, at best, lukewarm affection for the United States.

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New case of Arse and Elbow confirmed in prospective London Mayor Boris Johnson

A new case of 'not knowing his arse from his elbow' has been confirmed at a fourth farm tonight.

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Mad Abramovich intent on World Domination

Funny story: Mad Abramovich intent on World Domination

Jose Mourinho has broken his silence for the first time since leaving Chelsea by 'mutual consent'.

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Study Proves that Smoking Cigarettes Make you Sexy

Funny story: Study Proves that Smoking Cigarettes Make you Sexy

A scientific study revealed today that people who smoke cigarettes are sexy. The study, carried out by researchers wearing white lab coats in the University of Wales in Cardiff, was commissioned by Imperial Tobacco.

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Missing time theory: Portuguese cops ask if McCanns were abducted by aliens

Funny story: Missing time theory: Portuguese cops ask if McCanns were abducted by aliens

Portimao - (Whodunnit Press): Portuguese cops have claimed that a 'period of missing time' may provide the vital clue to the question every Portimao Polygraph machine operator wants answered: were the McCanns abducted by aliens?

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Latino organization cries racism over reduction of Cesar Chavez St.

Funny story: Latino organization cries racism over reduction of Cesar Chavez St.

Austin, TX The Latino Organization, L.A.T.A. (Latinos Americanos Todos Avanzando), has raised their voices in protest to the reduction of C...

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Victoria Beckham 'a sinister and pointless ragbag of bodily fluids'

Funny story: Victoria Beckham 'a sinister and pointless ragbag of bodily fluids'

New York - (Ass Mess): The desperate attention seeker wife of has-been football hero David Beckham has been dubbed a 'sinister and pointless ragbag of bodily fluids' by New York's iconic style bible Radar Magazine.

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Cops probe BBC newsreader deception over Kate Middleton

Funny story: Cops probe BBC newsreader deception over Kate Middleton

Broadcasting House - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): It's sordid, it's deceitful and it's been staring nearly 45 million UK TV licence payers in the face for decades.

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Police To Be Given Swimming Lessons

Funny story: Police To Be Given Swimming Lessons

Police chiefs in the northwest have jumped to the defence of two Police Community Support Officers (PCSOs) who stood by as a boy drowned in a pond.

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Peru Meteor Described in Detail

Funny story: Peru Meteor Described in Detail

Lima Beanea, Peru (IP) - Scientists lowered into the giant meteor crater in Peru have issued a detailed report designed to help the lay public get a bird's eye view of exactly what the meteorite looks like in their mind' eye.

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Planets Caught Looking Through Hole in Fence

Funny story: Planets Caught Looking Through Hole in Fence

Mount Polamar, California (IP) - Astronomers on this scientific campus have made direct optical observations of the outer planets engaged in the curious act of looking through a hole in the fence located at the outer edge of the solar system.

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Phil Spector jury gets new controversial instructions from judge Fidler: 'Come back with a guilty verdict this time, okay?'

Funny story: Phil Spector jury gets new controversial instructions from judge Fidler: 'Come back with a guilty verdict this time, okay?'

Los Angeles, California The jury of the Phil Spector murder trial returned to deliberations with new instructions from the judge, Larry Pau...

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Hyphens-Perish In New-Oxford-Dictionary

Funny story: Hyphens-Perish In New-Oxford-Dictionary

Ra-ma-ra-ma- -Ding-dong-, England-- (IP)-- 16,000 - hyphens -have -disappeared -from -the -Oxford -English-dictionary- and- London- Yard- is- on- the -look -out -for - the- maniac -who -stole -them. He- said- it- will-be- difficult- to-manage- all-...

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Letter to Northern Rock investors

Mr. and Mrs Investor Dinky Little Home...

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Squirrels Become Farmers

Funny story: Squirrels Become Farmers

Scientists believe an extraordinary evolution is occurring in squirrels. They are evolving from opportunist scroungers to farmers.

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Group One Queen Elizabeth II Stakes to be relegated to handicap race

Funny story: Group One Queen Elizabeth II Stakes to be relegated to handicap race

Arsecut Racecourse - (Ass Mess): This year's Group One Queen Elizabeth II Stakes at Ascot is to be relegated to auction handicap status.

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Tim Henman almost wins National Lottery

Funny story: Tim Henman almost wins National Lottery

Tennis ace Tim Henman almost won last week's National Lottery draw, it was revealed. He almost won a tax-free cash prize of £4 million.

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'Leave Britney Alone!' Drama queen, Chris Crocker, to replace Britney?

Funny story: 'Leave Britney Alone!' Drama queen, Chris Crocker, to replace Britney?

Hollywood, California - That's right! Overnight YouTube sensation, Chris Crocker, is the latest to be inducted into the world of reality TV with his own show. A TV crew is set to follow him around his hometown in Tennessee, where the 19-year-old...

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Eight Iraqis Dead At Hands of 'Private' Soldiers: "It's An Insult!"

Funny story: Eight Iraqis Dead At Hands of 'Private' Soldiers: "It's An Insult!"

Baghdad - An incident Sunday that left eight dead at the hands of private American security guards have left Iraqi officials angered. Iraq ministers released a statement today stating that the loss was not only tragic but also utterly insul...

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Revealed: the chequebook that rekindled Kate and William's love for each other

Funny story: Revealed: the chequebook that rekindled Kate and William's love for each other

London - (Ass mess): The Pretender to the Throne's heir apparent and Kate Middleton rekindled their contractual obligations during a multi-million pound crack deal at a Wiltshire mansion this summer according to a report today.

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Ron Paul Crosses the Balloon Line at the Debate

Funny story: Ron Paul Crosses the Balloon Line at the Debate

1:00 a.m., in Ft. Lauderdale-- At the River House, Ron Paul was passing out candy before the debate and had a juice bar, and then everyone got ready for the debate. Then Ron Paul crossed the balloon line at the debate, it was red, white, and blue. And the party was at the next place by where Ron Paul was first meeting. The party was by the River House. Ron Paul saw a Ron Paul sign behind...

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Putin delight as Northwest back passage opens for business

Funny story: Putin delight as Northwest back passage opens for business

Moscow - (Ass Mess): Russian President Vladimir Sputum has expressed his joy at global warming's re-opening of the Northwest back passage which he thinks will be great for business.

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Man Who Killed Himself in Woolworths was Trainee Suicide Bomber

Funny story: Man Who Killed Himself in Woolworths was Trainee Suicide Bomber

Police have revealed that a man who killed himself in a Woolworth's store was training to be a suicide bomber.

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Kid Rock to become Adult Rock

Funny story: Kid Rock to become Adult Rock

HOLLYWOOD, CALIF.-Superstar rocker Kid Rock says he is in the process of changing his name after an embarrassing incident with nemesis musician Tommy Lee. The two have been at each others' throats both figuratively and literally since a recent f...

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NATO dubs Forbes Rich List 'priceless fiction'

Funny story: NATO dubs Forbes Rich List 'priceless fiction'

NATO HQ, Brussels - (Armageddon Press): NATO military intelligence sources today dubbed the latest Forbes Rich List as the sort of 'priceless fiction' that made their litigation department swell with pride.

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Sisters Cherie Blair and Sharon Osbourne in fist fight over who's richer and more successful

Funny story: Sisters Cherie Blair and Sharon Osbourne in fist fight over who's richer and more successful

Identical twin sisters Cherie Blair and Sharon Osbourne met last night at the Waldorf Astoria for a family reunion. The siblings, who were separated at birth, went on to lead completely different lives. Cheri...

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CRACK To Float On NYSE

Funny story: CRACK To Float On NYSE

One of the largest drugs cartels in Colombia is to float itself on the New York Stock Exchange in an attempt to raise funds for an expansion.

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Rap Star impersonates NY cop by beating up black motorist

Funny story: Rap Star impersonates NY cop by beating up black motorist

Rap star the Game (Jayceon Taylor) was given a conditional discharge after being brought to court for impersonating a police officer. Taylor, wearing a fake NY cop's uniform, stopped an automobile driven by a bla...

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Election Day Moved to April 17th

Funny story: Election Day Moved to April 17th

Washington (IP) - Politicians have decided to move election day from November to two days after April 15th "tax day". The Senate and House both agreed that the move would demonstrate how good they are at keeping promises.

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Early Britain- The Normans

The Crown was next passed Harold, son of Godwin. But there was also a counter claim from William, Duke of Normandy. He claimed that...

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Chelsea Plan Clear-out Of Over-rated 'Stars'

Funny story: Chelsea Plan Clear-out Of Over-rated 'Stars'

Crisis club Chelsea are expected to announce plans for a major clear-out at the club after the shock ousting of manager Jose Mourinho, sources close to Stamford Bridge have said.

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Early Britain- The Saxons

The Saxons were the next colonisers of Britain, drifting west from Denmark. They came to Britain after the Romans had departed so they would be able to find parking spaces more easily. Their most renowned leader was Alfred.

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Mourinho a Certainty for Leeds Job

Funny story: Mourinho a Certainty for Leeds Job

Ousted Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho has been linked with the manager's job at lowly League One outfit Leeds United, it has been reported, and may be interested in the position "if the price were right".

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Barclays Shares Slump After Northern Rock Mix-up

Funny story: Barclays Shares Slump After Northern Rock Mix-up

Barclays Bank is the latest financial institution to suffer massive share price losses after a fresh mix-up involving the Northern Rock bank.

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Portugal Declares War On Britain

Funny story: Portugal Declares War On Britain

The British government has this morning announced that a state of war exists between itself and Portugal, the Portuguese government having declared war on Britain at 6 o'clock yesterday evening.

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FDA Says Chocolate is a Vitamin

Funny story: FDA Says Chocolate is a Vitamin

(Washington) - The FDA today announced that it has reclassified chocolate as a vitamin.

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Farewell special one!

Funny story: Farewell special one!

There you have it. The most successful manager in Chelsea's history gets the chop, the next victim in the Kings Road version of "my egos bigger than yours."...

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