England To Play On Glue In Moscow
The English soccer team are raging with the latest news that Russia, their opponents in the crucial Euro 2008 qualifier on Wednesday, have changed the surface of their pitch to glue in what many see as a clear case of psychological warfare and blatan...
Read full storyMan vs Wild and Survivorman Food on MacDonald's Menu
Mephistophel, Tennessee (IP) - MacDonalds has introduced a new menu featuring the foods eaten by Survivorman and Man Vs Wild stars during their survivor shows.
Read full storyRussia is Angry with USA
Moscow, Russia - Russia is at angry at the USA and the USA is angry with Iraq and Iran. Iran is mad at Israel and Israel is unhappy with Syria.
Read full storyNew Mr Men unveiled
Roger Hargreaves, the creator of the Mr Men franchise of books has unveiled a new selection for modern times.
Read full storyWacko Gets Raymone K. Bain Smack-O
[Virginia Observer] Police were called in today to quell a domestic disturbance at the home of Michael "Wacko" Jackson's publicist, Raymone K. Bain.
Read full story"Ryan's Plan" Knew Too Much
VANCOUVER (Varietal Magazine) - The voice on the other end of the telephone was fraught with panic: "Listen to me, I need to disappear for a little while... If they even know that I am talking with you, your life could be in danger too!"...
Read full storyeBay to Quit Auctions
San Jose, Calif. - Online auctioneer eBay Inc.(EBAY) in a press release this morning has announced that it is to phase out it's auction business.
Read full storyFeds Stop Starbucks Invasion
Citing a little known executive order issued by President Harry S. Truman prior to the Korean War the Federal Government has thwarted Starbucks' planned invasion of Iraq.
Read full storyBush Memoir: "If I Did It"
Washington, D.C. (TheSpoof.com)- It was revealed today that President Bush has written his memoir. The book to be published upon his exit from the White House is entitled, "If I Did It". The book details the actions taken by President Bush...
Read full storyTeen Sex Survey Has Area Man Re-thinking "The Whole Kid Thing"
Dallas, TX -- Twenty eight year old electronics salesperson Lance Vaughn has always had a vision for his life. This vision consisted of the time honored series of events like graduation from college, settling down with a nice girl, and raising a sma...
Read full storyU.S. Military Announces New "Special" Special Forces
Washington, DC -- Secretary of Defense Robert Gates announced today the creation of a new elite fighting force to stand proudly alongside venerated organizations like the Green Berets, Navy Seals, and Airborne Rangers.
Read full storySnitching plea bargain can't save Anderson from five years in the slammer: judge
Anchorage, Alaska - (AssoCIAted Mess): Snitching up accomplices in an FBI public orifice corruption sting hasn't been enough to let former Alaska lawmaker and Corrupt Bastards Club grandee Rep Tom Anderson off the hook for seven federal counts of...
Read full storyCan Money Buy Happiness?
Many people believe that money can't buy happiness while others believe that money CAN buy happiness. Who is right ...?...
Read full storyWales to be 'Rugby Free' by 2010
Once hailed as the land of rugby and song, the Welsh love affair with the oval ball game is soon to come to an acrimonious end.
Read full storyGordon Ramsay's X Factor Nightmare
Mad, Scottish and wrinkly celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has today discussed for the first time his ill fated audition on the never ending TV reality sensation, X Factor.
Read full storySister Act actress trapped in chimney
Big boned comedian Kathy Nijimy, who played a jolly nun in the Sister Act movies is fighting for her life after getting trapped in a chimney.
Read full storyJohnny Wilkinson: "Tries Should Be Banned"
Johnny Wilkinson has controversially called upon the International Rugby Board to ban tries from rugby just days ahead of the World Cup final between England and the Springboks.
Read full storyBritney Spears Marries 12 Pack 4 Sure
Hollywood, California (IP) - Britney Spears married rap singer 12 Pack 4 Sure in a secret ceremony at the hospital where 12 Pack 4 Sure was recovering from shotgun wounds to his rear end.
Read full storyPope John Paul II 'appears' in Diana tunnel vision
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Conspiracy Mess): An image of Pope John Paul II has mysteriously appeared in the Pont d'Alma tunnel where Princess Diana met her death.
Read full storyPresident lashes Irish drinkers
Dublin, Ireland - Irish head of state, President Mary McAleese, today severely criticized the boozing habits of her compatriots after it was revealed that the Irish are the second heaviest drinking nation on the planet...
Read full storyKennedy stages comeback
Liberal Party HQ, London - (Abstemious Mess): The Liberals' most electorally successful piss artist for 80 years is staging a comeback after pushing Ming Campbell down a pothole last night.
Read full storyKate Middleton snapped shooting up
Balmoral Estate, Scotland - (Ass Mess): Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton was snapped shooting up on the Balmoral estate this weekend.
Read full storyMahmoud "Shecky" Ahmadinejad Performs Standup Routine
Following his raucous standup routine at Columbia University Iranian President Mahmoud "Shecky" Ahmadinejad sat down with WJM reporter Mary Richards for a brief interview. Still giddy from his American standup debut he joked "Shalom ev...
Read full storySouth-East Passage Closes
As the old adage goes, 'As one door opens another closes' and as a result of Global warming, scientists are declaring that the infamous North-West Passage is melting and will soon be open to shipping.
Read full storyParis Hilton Does Africa: Remaking "African Queen" with George Clooney
Nairobi - Paris Hilton recently announced that her time in prison made her rethink her party image and while she has no regrets, she does want to build on her legacy. She wants to help people in Africa and bring attention to the struggles of people t...
Read full storyPam Ayres Controversial new poem - When I am Older than tomorrow
Pam Ayres, poet Laurette of a fading English ideal has released her most controversial new poem to date. It does not always rhyme, but we have had to clean it up, and the fourth, fifth and sixth stanza's really were not suitable for a family publication like this, so here is the version we are able to print.
Read full storySupermarket Sweep the Movie to be made
'Next time you are in the supermarket, and you hear the beep - Think of the fun you could be having on supermarket sweep!' This, the catch phrase in the late lamented Television show, Supermarket Sweep, and now the icon of British tack, which...
Read full storyNoshing Mink Stinks!
Noshing Mink's claims that spoof writers are fraudulently giving themselves 5 star ratings is causing a 'playground feud' amongst some writers and could turn nasty if not regulated..
Read full storyMan camping inside "giant toaster" incinerated
A man camping inside what looked to be a "giant toaster" was found burned to death in the Sahara Desert today. The "toaster," an Airstream trailer, was found in the desert about 100 miles south of the Atlas Mountains and Mediterra...
Read full storyEngland Not Looking Forward To South Africa Mauling - Bookies Reflect This
England Rugby manager Brian Ashton, jubilant after his team's momentous semi-final win against France on Saturday, has confessed that he isn't looking forward to another drubbing
Read full storyMerseyside Rock Festival: Fans Urged To Buy Last Few Tickets
Rock fans are being urged to buy the last few tickets for a Rock Festival as quickly as possible to avoid potential disappointment. The Merseyside Rock Festival, a new innovation, is expected to sell out within the next few days, with a maximum of...
Read full storyPack Master II
"Rolling and rolling in bed, I examined all possible approaches: some were degrading; some, very costly; some, criminal. One night, I jumped up in bed, remembering that Master Sergeant always had complained that men were abusing the dun mule! Joyfully, I said, 'That's it! Safe and economical. But how? The stable is always crowded with grooms and I, Pack Master.' This thought magic...
Read full storyIt's just violence!
We have very perverted ideas about what's "good" and what's "evil" in this country.
Read full storyEMS features ambulances equipped with cranes; may hire power lifters
Only in America as the saying goes. EMS services reported today that ambulances will now be equipped with cranes. The cranes will be attached to the top of the ambulances and will fold to fit lengthwise when not in use. The measure was prompted by th...
Read full storyMing & Britney's Liberal Love Making
The 'toxic' chanteuse famous for hitting a baby one more time has eloped with confused ex-Lib Dem burden Sir Menzies Camp Bell.
Read full storyParents Say "No" to Jackson and McCanns
In a recent spoof poll, parents in Britain have decided the person they would least like to babysit their children was pale faced singer Michael Jackson.
Read full storyMenzies Campbell, Gordon Brown and David Cameron all part of Scots conspiracy to rule England
While the media concentrates on cocoa-drinking Sir Menzies Campbell's enforced resignation as leader of the Liberal Democrats, a more worrying story has emerged, namely that of a Scots conspiracy to transfer political power from London to...
Read full storyQueen Arrested for Honour Killing
HRH Queen Elizabeth the second was today arrested on suspicion of commiting an honour killing.
Read full storyIran Being Run By a Mexican
Tehran, Iran (IP) - It has been discovered that Iran's President Moe Ahmadinejad is actually an illegal alien from Mexico.
Read full storyNick Sabin Coaching Girl's Football Team
Burmingham, Alabama (IP) - Long time losing football coach Nick Sabin has begun his new career coaching a high school girl's football team.
Read full story10 Things to do with a Bishop
1) Keep it in your garden to prevent the ingress of Jehovah's Witnesses, wandering minstrels, excommunicated heretics, Mormons and stray domestic fowls (this is not a suitable use of a wandering bishop, who will tend to stray from his post, though auxiliary and retired bishops will be content to stand in your garden).
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