Citing a little known executive order issued by President Harry S. Truman prior to the Korean War the Federal Government has thwarted Starbucks' planned invasion of Iraq.
The executive order clearly states "…only puppet leaders of the American Shadow Government may invade foreign lands populated by non-Caucasian and/or non-English speaking peoples".
Special Agent Joey McCarthy of the justice department released the following statement: "Starbucks' domination through caffeination has got to end. We must stop the spread of caffeination in our lifetime before Starbucks and their kind have taken over the world. The Starbucks, Tully's and Caribou Coffee Company's Axis of Evil must be stopped at all costs. The domino theory of caffeniation cannot succeed or we all lose".
In response Starbucks founder, Howard Shultz said "relax man. It's just coffee. Come on in, have a cup and we'll talk about it while we sit in comfy chairs and listen to an awesome array of hypnotizing music. Would you like a muffin?"
