Hatemonger - I hate everyone

I HATE EVERYBODY I hate everybody...

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Mattel, Microsoft, Dr, Frankenstein team up to create candidate for '08

Tucumcari, NM (NIP) Mattel has announced today from their New Mexico R&D center that they have joined with Microsoft and Dr. Frankenstein,Inc to support their '08 Presidential hopeful. Former Mass. Govneror Mitt Romney.

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Bush orders "No-Invade Zone" and "No-Homeland Zone" signs posted to prevent Turkish boarder incursion into Northern Iraq

Funny story: Bush orders "No-Invade Zone" and "No-Homeland Zone" signs posted to prevent Turkish boarder incursion into Northern Iraq

Washington, DC - Rapidly escalating tensions in the form of armed conflict and skirmishes between U.S. allies, the Turks and Kurds, has resulted in the Turkish parliament authorizing deployment of its military forces along the Turkish/Iraqi boarder i...

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Ann Coulter Still Sucks

Funny story: Ann Coulter Still Sucks

Lexington Herald-Leader, Kentucky -- A local man contacted the Herald-Leader yesterday concerning "important breaking news" that he felt was being lost in the world's other news. Amidst news reports of California fires, politics, Britney Spears, and...

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Yet Another Phone-in/Ratings Controversy Rips off an Unsuspecting Public on TheSpoof.com

Funny story: Yet Another Phone-in/Ratings Controversy Rips off an Unsuspecting Public on TheSpoof.com

The controversy keeps mounting up and yet another mainstream entertainment medium has been embroiled in a plot to fleece the unsuspecting public and contributors of their hard earned goodwill.

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Ahmadinejad's mother claims "Bush is my lost son"

Funny story: Ahmadinejad's mother claims "Bush is my lost son"

In a crowded press conference here in Washington, Ahmadinejad's Mother Mrs. Sheeren Zahra claimed that Bush is her lost son. She said "bush was kidnapped in an early age while they were travelling with family towards southern Iran during an...

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"I was Brown's Bitch for 10 Years," Claims Blair

Funny story: "I was Brown's Bitch for 10 Years," Claims Blair

Now unshackled for the first time from the decade of abuse he endured in his fairy tale marriage to Gordon Brown, Tony Blair has revealed the real truth behind the closed doors at Number 10 (and 11), Downing Street exclusively to the...

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United States Threatens Insurgents with O.J. Simpson - War Ends

Funny story: United States Threatens Insurgents with O.J. Simpson - War Ends

Washington (IP) - The United States today threatened to send O.J. Simpson to Iraq to go on a television talk show tour and within 30 minutes the insurgents phoned Washington and surrendered.

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EPA Fines God For Polluting

Funny story: EPA Fines God For Polluting

(Sacramento) - The 15 major wildfires throughout Southern California, which have burned hundreds of square miles and polluted the skies with thick black smoke, have been ruled Acts of God. As a result of the ruling, the California Environmental Prote...

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New Bin Laden recording produced by Timbaland

Funny story: New Bin Laden recording produced by Timbaland

An audio recording purportedly from al-Qaida terrorist bushwhacker Osama bin Laden calls for Sunny-D insurgents in Iraq to unite and make sweet sweet love. The tape though is also significant for the involvement of...

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Hurricane Experts Predict Storms in 2027

Funny story: Hurricane Experts Predict Storms in 2027

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) announced today that because of emerging technology they would be able to make far more accurate hurricane forecasts well into the future.

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Cuba Rejoices at Successful Elections

Funny story: Cuba Rejoices at Successful Elections

Havana, Cuba (IP) - Cubans ran into the streets en masse today overjoyed and celebrating the great exhilaration they feel in the workers maximum paradise at having attained such success and glory via yesterdays election.

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Alaska Woman Finds Corpse in Freezer, no Corrupt Bastards suspected yet

Funny story: Alaska Woman Finds Corpse in Freezer, no Corrupt Bastards suspected yet

Anchorage, Alaska - (Frozen Ass Mess): Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club are not yet official suspects in the case of a body wrapped in plastic discovered in an Anchorage freezer on Sunday.

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America's Evangelicals Yearn for Electable Taliban-Style Leader

Funny story: America's Evangelicals Yearn for Electable Taliban-Style Leader

United States of America -- Self-described "evangelical values voters" have voiced extreme frustration that the GOP field has not produced a Taliban-style leader to run for the U.S. Presidency. "This is a Christian Na...

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Third Secret of Fatima hex fears hit Algarve holiday region

Funny story: Third Secret of Fatima hex fears hit Algarve holiday region

Praia do Tonel, Algarve - (Conspiracy Mess): Religious superstition is in freefall today in Portugual's Algarve as countless nationals blame Third Secret of Fatima pontifical gagging orders for hexing the holiday region with yet more fa...

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Man Marries TiVo in Controversial Ceremony

Funny story: Man Marries TiVo in Controversial Ceremony

A Hackensack, NJ man married his TiVo digital recorder today in a small private ceremony. The union, performed by the United Church of Christ (which became the first major Christian denomination to support gay marriage back in 2005), sparked protest...

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Badger Seeks Selective Science Advisor Culls

Funny story: Badger Seeks Selective Science Advisor Culls

Following the Department of Environment's call for a mass culling of Badgers after a damning report claimed badgers are solely responsible for TB in cattle a spokesbadger for the normally shy nocturnal mammals has slammed UK Government officials:...

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New Portrait of Dick Cheney to be Hung in White House

Funny story: New Portrait of Dick Cheney to be Hung in White House

WA, DC White House - In a rare public unveiling in the White House's inner sanctum of security offices, located several storeys below the White House ground floor, a special ceremony was held today to unveil Dick Cheney's portrait. The portra...

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Lighter Rape Sentences To 'Reflect The Seriousness Of The Crime' Says Straw

Funny story: Lighter Rape Sentences To 'Reflect The Seriousness Of The Crime' Says Straw

Former Home Secretary Jack Straw has doused himself in controversy once more by announcing new plans to reduce sentences for the offence of Rape.

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ITV bans all shows containing the name Madeleine

Funny story: ITV bans all shows containing the name Madeleine

In a typically intelligent move, ITV will cancel or postpone any programme or film that contains a character with the name Madeleine or Maddy.

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"Don't Go To Portugal" Britons Advised

Funny story: "Don't Go To Portugal" Britons Advised

The Government has advised all UK residents not to travel to Portugal, after three people drowned there.

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MPs question cash for honours cops - Baron Plod goes first

Funny story: MPs question cash for honours cops - Baron Plod goes first

A police officer involved in the "cash for honours" bribery scandal, Baron (formerly Detective Sergeant) Plod of the Sergeants Room, has been giving evidence to the House of Commons Public Administration Select Committee about why t...

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Majority of Brits & Yanks Don't Give a Flying Sh*t About Each Other's Sports; Canucks Suffer

Funny story: Majority of Brits & Yanks Don't Give a Flying Sh*t About Each Other's Sports; Canucks Suffer

NEW YORK / LONDON / TORONTO - "You can have your Cricket, your Rugby, and your Football (which we call Soccer)," responded one American when asked what he thought about British athletics. "I have no idea what goes on in them anyway.&q...

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US citizens live in fear of Super Bug Strain

Funny story: US citizens live in fear of Super Bug Strain

As I watched them carry another corpse from the ER, I asked an intern if that was another victim of the Super Bug Strain.

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Iran to get Nuclear Weapons from USA

Funny story: Iran to get Nuclear Weapons from USA

Washington (IP) - The United States has made a deal with Iran wherein it will hand over a few hydrogen bombs to the Iranians. There is only one catch and that is that if the Iranians move one of the bombs it will go off in their back yard.

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Staunton sacked, Maurice Ball confirmed as new Ireland Manager.

Funny story: Staunton sacked, Maurice Ball confirmed as new Ireland Manager.

Steven Stauntons chaotic and controversial tenure as manager of the Irish football team came to an end this evening after a hastily convened drinking session in a public house in Newbridge County Kildare.

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"Today Spermicidal Sponge" introduces "The Sponge" Bob Square Pants birth control for Middle School girls

Funny story: "Today Spermicidal Sponge" introduces "The Sponge" Bob Square Pants birth control for Middle School girls

Portland, Oregon - Makers of Today Spermicidal Sponge, announced today a new product line geared toward meeting the hectic demands of disengaged parents, reactionary liberal school administrators and rubber-stamping members of the school board by int...

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