It's official! Sir Minge Campbell has resigned as sort-of leader of the Leb/Dim party type thing. The race is now on to find his sort-of successor type thingy.
First in line and the favourite is... erm... oh you know, that bloke who... um... oh, what's his name? He looks like...um...I've forgotten who he looks like. I'll come back to him.
The second runner and could easily come good in the end is...um, another bloke who... called, erm... he looks a bit like that first bloke... you know. Anyway, he's not too well known right now but Lob/Dom insiders are saying he is going to be big one day - well, biggish - for a Lab/Dam.
And lastly, a real dark horse whom nobody has heard of or seen but I am reliably informed he looks a bit like the previous two. And he is a man. That has been confirmed as definite. And he is under the age of 70.
Apologies for the lack of facts in this sensational breaking news story, but when I came to write it... I just couldn't be asked.
SENSATIONAL BREAKING NEWS UPDATE FLASH: A new contender has just entered the race for leader. He is a young turkey. Insiders say he is Sir Minge's favored heir.