eBay to Quit Auctions

Funny story written by Passion Vine House

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

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Find **IT on eBay

San Jose, Calif. - Online auctioneer eBay Inc.(EBAY) in a press release this morning has announced that it is to phase out it's auction business.

Beginning on January 1st 2008 eBay will no longer carry items for auction but will put $2 billion into upgrades for it's stores format. "Although Store owners will have to pay alot more for the right to own a store, sellers should see a far higher sell through rate", according to Mr John Donaghue, Chief of eBay Marketplace.

It is thought that one of the main reasons why eBay is getting out of the auction business is because of their inability to catch Vladuz. The hacker has been on the site recently closing peoples accounts and the final 'straw' came when he caused CEO Meg Whitman to be No Longer a Registered User.

Although eBay have spent millions trying to catch Vladuz they have totally failed. According to a reliable source the eBay board of Directors were in favor of paying megabucks to the Scottish Grandmother who effortlessly found Vladuz. It seems the Directors were willing to pay off the hacker but Ms. Whitman decided it was time to call it a day.

eBay also found themselves dying of boredom at the lack of competition after all these years. They have purposely taken numerous steps over the last four years to help increase competition (like over charging on fees, messing with search, throwing powersellers off the site, allowing countless knockoffs, the list is endless.)

Dispite eBay's numerous and best efforts to increase competition in the market, and as bad as they tried to be, eBay's Online Auction competition is so bad that even eBay came to the realization they could not compete and thus decided it was time to finally pull the plug.

*I'm PVH and I approve this story...I also rated it worth one star.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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