BBC gagged from reporting Blair's gatekeeper has criminal record
Drowning Street - (Rioters): The BBC has been gagged by the Attorney General from reporting that in 1993 Ruth Turner, the Prime Monster's official gatekeeper, served a jail term for fraud, embezzlement, extortion and harboring child molestors.
Read full storyTrombone player suffers heart attack during Britney Spears-Boston Symphony concert; several others injured
A trombone player for the Boston Symphony went into cardiac arrest Saturday night while playing in the orchestra pit. The symphony was playing for a packed house with Britney Spears when the incident occurred.
Read full storyPresident Bush calls for 'regime change' in Iraq
President Bush made a speech today in which he said that the current Iraqi regime is "not good enough". He pointed out the high levels of terrorism and lawlessness in the country, and the fact that the government seems unable to run its own...
Read full storyInquest into Diana's death reopened - conspiracy theorists happy
Thanks to tireless harassment by fat Egyptian twat Mohammed Al-Fayed, the police have been forced to re-open their inquiry into the death of vain, egocentric, horse-faced monger Princess Diana, who was allegedly killed accidentally in Paris in 1997.
Read full storyRed State Physics
Following the Democratic Sweep of the House and Senate last November, President Bush enrolled in a Physics Course at Georgetown to familiarize himself with Nuclear Technology.
Read full storyMovin' on up - To the East-Side
President Bush picked up a hitch hiker on his way to New Orleans yesterday. Congressman William Jefferson thumbed a ride on air force one with the President --- who just happened to be going his way...
Read full storyLeonardo da Vinci had no hands - Exclusive
Leonardo da Vinci 1452-1519 world famous scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, and musician had in fact got no hands.
Read full storyBush twins suspected of 'Barbie Bandit' heists
Acworth, Georgia - (Rotters): Bush twins Jenna and Barbara are tonight the top suspects in the 'Barbie Bandits' heist case after a police informant said he had seen them hand over a demand note to a Bank of America teller and say "Give u...
Read full storyNutrageous Named "Offical Candy Bar of The Gays"!
Thursday afternoon the Humbled Ornate Masculine Organization (HOMO) made a press release stating Hershey's Nutrageous as the offical candy bar of the gays.
Read full storyNASA Plays Domino's And Pizza Hut At Their Own game
NASA has today taken on its biggest challenge to date. If reports are correct then "Dial a Space Pizza" looks set to take the country by storm and Dominos and Pizza Hut delivery staff had better look out.
Read full storyMan Destroys Face With Bottle Rocket
FALLON, NEW MEXICO -- A 26-year-old New Mexico man has accidentally blown half of his nose off with a bottle rocket during a Chinese New Year celebration.
Read full storyMichael Jackson Gets His Own Custom Car: The Mercedes "Hee-Hee"
Michael Jackson and the Mercedes-Benz corporation have teamed to come up with a new mini-van that's sure to rock the industry apart. It's called the Mercedes Hee-Hee.
Read full storyDe Menzezes Case Appeal Law Lord is Serial Flasher
London - (Ass Mess): A senior Court of Appeal judge who probed the police's tube train shooting of hapless Brazilian electrician Jean Charles de Menezes has been charged with indecent exposure on a London train. Lord Justice Prickhard was arreste...
Read full storyTrunk driving village to brink
A community in the County's heartland is set to take up arms over the proposed construction of a trunk road that will swathe through it like "a black serpent from the bowels of hell."...
Read full storyMan Arrested Picking Nose Whilst Driving
A man was arrested yesterday evening for picking his nose whilst driving. David Blaspheemy, 75, was driving along a quiet residential street in his hometown of Gnomeville, East Westwick in his Ford Mundano. Sensing his nose was feeling a 'little...
Read full storyHull Reclassified As 'The Cradle Of Civilisation'
Contrary to a recent report in The Spoof, Hull is not at the edge of the world, but is, in fact, at the exact centre of the Universe.
Read full storySaint Jade of Calcutta
Jade Goody has arrived in India, accompanied by an entourage of PR spin doctors, invited hacks and a specially hired film crew to help her maintain a low profile for her private mission of atonement.
Read full storyRIAA unleashes string of tornadoes on "Infringing Youth" in the South
While tornadoes are typically drawn to trailer parks like... well like tornadoes to trailer parks, the recent string of killer windstorms felt across Alabama have had their furious purpose harnessed and corporately aimed this time at what Mitch Bainw...
Read full storyScots Porridge Mine Disaster
Perthshire- It was just after 3.00pm yesterday afternoon, in the small Scottish mining town of Glenalkie, that news first started to filter out of the local porridge works that there had been a massive cave in 2500ft beneath the the main pit head of...
Read full storyMichigan canine sodomy complex variation found in Galway, Eire
South Galway - (ReUterus): Interpol says that a variation of Michigan dead dog buggery syndrome which was widely reported in the press this week has now spread to the boglands of South Galway following the arrest of a Animal Rights activist Thomas Al...
Read full storyMount Hore Baptist Church 'is wrong spelling': Virgie Arthur
Nassau, Bahamas - (ReuterUs): Anna Nicole Smith's estranged mother Virgie Arthur is said to be scornful of the church chosen for her daughter's funeral service and has told its pastor: "This is an ungodly shack. Seems like you missed ou...
Read full storyPitt and Jolie join Madonna fight to adopt baby Dannielynn
Hollywood - (ReUterus): Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have joined Madonna in the legal tussle to adopt Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn.
Read full storyBrainless Cutie Golfer Michelle Wie Is a Woman
Last night, the sexist, male-dominated world of brilliant golf was put into turmoil by revelations that pretty, pint-sized, brainless, lovely Michelle Wie is not a tiny airhead at all, but a woman who gets pissed off with PM...
Read full storyNude Antonella Barba pictures discriminate against the blind says Stevie Wonder
Soul superstar, Stevie Wonder, lashed out at American Idol producers last night, saying that the pictures of Antonella Barba dicriminate against the blind.
Read full storyAnother Creationist Museum found at Peruvian solar observatory
Chankillo - (Rotters): Evidence that 2,300 years ago fundamentalist creationist nutters tried to destroy one of the world's oldest solar observatories at an archaeological site in Peru has been discovered at Chankillo.
Read full storyTed Nugent Vows To Hunt Down His Remaining Fans
Legendary guitar god, famed hunter, and certified lunatic,Ted Nugent has just signed on for yet another reality show with VH1.
Read full storyANS Judge to be on TV?
What next? ANS's Judge to be on TV. I laughed so hard, the button popped right off my pants, flew across the office and ping ponged my colleague on the forehead, and she has now been awakened from a deep sleep and her secret desire to be on TV has emerged in bright shiny stars. Get real!...
Read full storyJLA Movie Announced
Yes people I your beloved Ace Ventura is back and ready to ride that spankable ass!...
Read full storyAlsation Impersonating Lamb In Kebab Kennel Of Death
A Police Dog Training School can breathe a sigh of relief this morning after detectives finally got to the bottom of a mystery that has decimated its ranks.
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith's decaying body reveals final secret
In a shocking twist sure to complicate the ongoing legal investigations, coroners have discovered what appears to be a secret legal will tucked away in a hidden compartment inside the late Anna Nicole Smith's left boob. Ironically, according to...
Read full storyUS Calls in Scooby Doo to Find Osama Bin Laden
After months of failed attempts at locating Osama bin Laden, US military has called in the big guns.
Read full storyJessica Simpson Miffed that Posh Spice Is Getting Her Own Reality Show
"Even before that skinny Brit has set up a home on our shores," Simpson sniffed, "she's already grabbing up everything in sight."...
Read full storyStork Refuses to Deliver Mary Cheney's baby!
In a surprising development,the stork, renowned baby delivery system, has announced that it will not drop Mary Cheney's newborn down the chimney! Stork spokesbird, Flapper Egglayer, had very little to say to the press: "Look! Stork can't...
Read full storyTop scientist cools on global warming theory
NORTH FALLS, MN -- In a odd addendum to the raging global warming debate one of the top scientist who originated the global warming theory has now recanted his former claims that the Earth is warming due to man-made greenhouse gases, Speaking to a g...
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