Nun: Ratzinger cured my haemorrhoids

Funny story: Nun: Ratzinger cured my haemorrhoids

Vatican Shitty - (Ass Mess): Pope Ratzinger's personal right-hand woman and Teutonic valkyrie minder Sister Ingrid Stampa has said it is a miracle that her piles have been cured by the Holy Father's very own healing hands.

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Why Diana's memorial service is an insult to national intelligence

Funny story: Why Diana's memorial service is an insult to national intelligence

London - Assinine Mess): Enough of this Diana crap. Papers to be released next week will show that the scheming IRA bomber who masquaraded as Princess Diana was the illegitimate daughter of George Herbert Bush.

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AmerenIP hit with yet more trouble.

Funny story: AmerenIP hit with yet more trouble.

AmerenIP is the major supplier of power for much of the Southwestern portion of Illinois. It is also one of the most unlucky companies of 2006 and early 2007.

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Masturbation/Wanking to be Taught at all U.S. Schools

Funny story: Masturbation/Wanking to be Taught at all U.S. Schools

U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings announced today that masturbation, or wanking as it's known to most young boys, will be required teaching at all public schools in the U.S.

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Crap headscarf business riles Royal Navy hostage into demanding shampoo

Funny story: Crap headscarf business riles Royal Navy hostage into demanding shampoo

Tehran Hilton - (Ass Mess): Leading Seawoman Faye Turney has defied her fundamentalist Iranian captors and demanded shampoo as an alternative to wearing a dodgy black scarf to hide her greasy tresses.

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Prince Harry To Be (a Burger) King After All

Funny story: Prince Harry To Be (a Burger) King After All

News reaching us today that Prince Harry is to pass over on his life of royalty and go instead for a career as a trainee manager with fast food giant, Burger King.

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Ken Burns Forgot Latinos Fought in WWII

Funny story: Ken Burns Forgot Latinos Fought in WWII

Ken Burns' amnesia keeps haunting his otherwise excellent documentaries. This time he has omitted all reference to the thousands of Latin Americans who risked and sometimes lost their lives in the Second Great War. This, of course, is not the fir...

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UtopGoogle!, New Feature Re-Imagines History!

Funny story: UtopGoogle!, New Feature Re-Imagines History!

UtopGoogle! New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina's devastation is gone, all evidence of genocide in Rwanda disappears on Utopgoogle! Iraq looks like it did in the peaceful days of SH's IT (Iraqi Tranquil). VietNam is undefoliated. The US South h...

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US District Judge Says Forests Must Have Trees

Funny story: US District Judge Says Forests Must Have Trees

Phyllis Hamilton, US District Judge, has made a decision which flies in the face of Bush administration Dis-environmental Protection agency.

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Kieren Fallon slams Dettori as 'far bigger crook'

Funny story: Kieren Fallon slams Dettori as 'far bigger crook'

Ballydoyle - (Leprachaun Press): Disgraced former champion jockey Kieren Fallon has laid into fellow flat racing rider Frankie Dettori as being a 'far bigger crook, in as well as out of the saddle than I could ever aspire to being'.

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NCAA Outlaws Confederate Flag and Any States That Display It Anywhere

Funny story: NCAA Outlaws Confederate Flag and Any States That Display It Anywhere

The NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) has extended its ban on use of the Confederate flag. FOrmerly, the organization had declared that it would not allow NCAA Basketball Tournament games to be held in states that posted the flag offic...

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Generalissimo Gonzo Vows :I'll Stay on the Job I Suck at!

Funny story: Generalissimo Gonzo Vows :I'll Stay on the Job I Suck at!

Attorney General Alberto "Hitman" Gonzalez vows that he will stay on the job even though his execution of nearly a dozen US attorneys out of pure Bush loyalty has crippled his ability to be ag.

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God And Lucifer Hold Secret Meeting

Funny story: God And Lucifer Hold Secret Meeting

Inside a library of Victorian splendor. A sign on the door reads: "NO SOLICITORS".

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"Infused Chocolate In Our Veins"

Funny story: "Infused Chocolate In Our Veins"

Funk Shui Fundraising...

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When Harry Met Don

Funny story: When Harry Met Don

Now, half way through the 'Stand Up Comedy Boom' Harry decided to cash in on his connections and he opened a Public Relations firm named 'Handled Messiahs INC' but unlike the joke circuit Harry's gift of gab, devilish good looks and sheer tenacity was not enough to land him the highly coveted big named clients. '...

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Fife And The Girl From Elmira

Funny story: Fife And The Girl From Elmira

When he first moved into the Chelsea Hotel, he had a gig at The Ed Sullivan Theater, on Broadway near 57th Street, a few bit guest slots on TV and Harry started getting a fair following.

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Give us Barabbas

Funny story: Give us Barabbas

Lost Gospel Barabbas Reveals; He Knew Jesus' true identity By Roger Turgid :For...

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Marie Osmond Seeks Second Divorce

Funny story: Marie Osmond Seeks Second Divorce

Marie Osmond announced that she is seeking a divorce from her husband of twenty years. No reasons were given or announced by the couple. This is her second divorce from a man that she married "for all eternity" (not "til death do us...

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'Solving' of Great Pyramids False, Truth Revealed

Funny story: 'Solving' of Great Pyramids False, Truth Revealed

The mystery of how the pyramids were built has been claimed to be 'solved' by a French architect. However, his theories have now been categorically debunked by eye witnesses.

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"Peter Crouch, The Greatest I've Ever Seen" - Thierry Henry. Liverpool 4 - Arsenal 1.

Funny story: "Peter Crouch, The Greatest I've Ever Seen" - Thierry Henry. Liverpool 4 - Arsenal 1.

After witnessing his side's defeat at the hands of Liverpool, Arsenal's Thierry Henry had an amazing statement for the press; "Peter Crouch is the greatest striker I've ever seen."...

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Bush Challenges Ahmajinedad

Funny story: Bush Challenges Ahmajinedad

President BUSH in an attempt to elliviate the current hostage crisis in Iran has Challenged Iranian President Mahamud Ahmajinedad to an Internationaly Broadcast Debate...

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No one's gonna April Fools Day spoof me says Blair

Funny story: No one's gonna April Fools Day spoof me says Blair

Chequers - (Rutters): A smug and confident UK Prime Monster Tony Blair told a press conference today that he is expecting a five mile parody exclusion zone around him at his country retreat of Chequers this weekend amid fears of some waggish prank be...

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Chews-for-Jesus Easter egg manufacturer retalliates with choccy Jesus crucifixes

Funny story: Chews-for-Jesus Easter egg manufacturer retalliates with choccy Jesus crucifixes

New York - (Ass Mess): Dismayed at fundamentalist Christian hogwash about a Manhattan gallery's 200lb chocolate Jesus sculpture being offensive an entrepreneurial candy manufacturer has rushed out an order for five million choccy Jesus crucifixes...

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John Revolta: how Scientology has kept me out of dole queue

Funny story: John Revolta: how Scientology has kept me out of dole queue

London - (Assinine Press): John Revolta has told a BBC chat show host that if it wasn't for Scientology his tacky eighties-style toupee would have been outed years ago as a tatoo cover-up on his hairless pate spelling out I Am A Tosser.

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England conquer Ireland, It's just not cricket.

Funny story: England conquer Ireland, It's just not cricket.

Somewhere in the Caribbean on one of those little Islands:- England 's cricketers defeated Ireland by 48 runs this morning and sparked wild scenes of celebration in both England and Ireland admittedly for differing reasons.

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Bush Declares The End of Science!

Funny story: Bush Declares The End of Science!

Bush the President with more low science grades than Millard Fillmore has announced that science will no longer have any credibility in US society. Bush supports his ban on science with numerous citations from his favorite faith based superstitioners...

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"Untill Man" Iraq War Hit Song!

Funny story: "Untill Man" Iraq War Hit Song!

American war culture has produced songs from the Revolutionary War: "Revere the Minuet", The Mexican War: "Llores, No canta", The Civil War: "When Johnny Came Limping Home Again", The Spanish-American war: "The Hava...

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Superhero Candidate #2008

Funny story: Superhero Candidate #2008

It has been brought to the attention of Superman Headquarters that there are more superheroes than there are available positions for supermen and superwomen who are well qualified. And because Superman Headquarters is now a subsidiary of Justice Leag...

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Sanjaya Gets All Tuxedoed Up For Tony Bennett Week

Funny story: Sanjaya Gets All Tuxedoed Up For Tony Bennett Week

The nine finalists on American Idol tackle classic American songs next week and Sanjaya promises another unforgettable performance…or at least another headline-grabbing, jaw-dropping "look".

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Donny Osmond's New Series, The Great American Dream, Axed by ABC

Funny story: Donny Osmond's New Series, The Great American Dream, Axed by ABC

Donny Osmond's newest ABC television series was cancelled after only two episodes. The Great American Dream Vote, where contestants competed to make their dreams into reality, was not a winner with viewers and was put on semi-permanent hiatus, w...

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Man with problems covers his testicles with sandwich spread

Funny story: Man with problems covers his testicles with sandwich spread

Recent newcomer to England, East European Pincha Knifenfork had unwelcome visitors to his nether region after a night with a woman he picked up at a dockside pub, "The Haddock and Rupture"...

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