In a surprising development,the stork, renowned baby delivery system, has announced that it will not drop Mary Cheney's newborn down the chimney! Stork spokesbird, Flapper Egglayer, had very little to say to the press: "Look! Stork can't! That's about all I can say!"
Off the record at a fermented bird feeder in an undisclosed suburb, Flapper had a bit more to add: "So Stork is silent...what can I tell ya? This bird's under alot pressure, The Christian Conservatives have tremendous juice since Nannette Fabre or whoever that homo-hating bitch was...Stork would love to be more tolerant but do you have any idea?!"
In a parking garage in downtown DC Stork, dressed in a trenchcoat, collar pulled up around his ear-feathers, spoke to our reporter: "My business is bringing the baby home...black, brown, white, yellow...I bring the baby home. You don't think these baby-hating "Christians" can stop me. We already have a drop-off point for the Cheney Grandchild".
Stork reported that at first his biggest hesitation was that he'd be shot down by Dead-eye Dick's errant buckshot but since he learned that Dick shoots only humans, he feels relieved.Delivery will be right on time!