Man Destroys Face With Bottle Rocket

Funny story written by Jack Battler

Friday, 2 March 2007

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FALLON, NEW MEXICO -- A 26-year-old New Mexico man has accidentally blown half of his nose off with a bottle rocket during a Chinese New Year celebration.

Jason Berdow, a cook at a local pizzaria was "clowning around" Feb. 24 at a friends house when the bottle rocket he had stuffed up his nose as a joke suddenly ignited and exploded. "I was just joking around," Berdow said from his parents' Fallon home where he is currently recovering from the mishap. I put the thing in my nose and was pretending I was a Chinese dragon when the cigar I was smoking came into contact with the fuse of the bottle rocket."

As friends and family members watched in shocked horror Berdow attempted to remove the fizzling firecracker but was too late. The device exploded causing severe damage to his nostril, mouth and cheek.

"The real bummer is the plastic whistle from the end of the rocket was forced into my nasal passage where it is still lodged," Berdow moaned. "They could not remove it for fear of causing more damage to the surrounding burned flesh so they said I just have to get used to it. Problem is, every time I inhale the thing whistles and it's keeping me up at night."

Berdow had a total of 16 stitches and is undergoing plastic surgery to repair his face.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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