New Research Heats Up Global Warming Debate: Paper Proves Critics of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth Are Smarter Than People Who Liked It.
A paper to be published today in the American Journal of Sociology is certain to heat up the global warming debate with strong evidence that people who are critical of An Inconvenient Truth (AIT) are smarter than people who...Read full story
George Bush Out smarted by a fifth grader
WASHINGTON- President George W. Bush was making one of his usual trips to schools last week. This time, the school was John Milner Elementary school in Piqua, Idaho. He spent most of his day with Mrs. Ueter's kindergarten class...Read full story
Iran's Ahmadinejad says "300" is too much
PRESIDENT Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today accused Washington D.C. and Hollywood big wigs of hate-mongering against Iran, which faces tougher UN sanctions over its nuclear program.Read full story
Free 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' bumper stickers annoy drivers
In a wave of vandalism stretching across dozens of states, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" stickers have begun to appear on cars and other private property.Read full story
Bush Claims Infallibility
WASHINGTON D.C. - Speaking to a group of evangelical Christian ministers in the Oval Office, President Bush said today he had been given the cloak of infallibility by God. He claimed he was measured and fitted for the cloak months ago, but was only r...Read full story
Schwarzenegger-Limbaugh Feud Heats Up
SACRAMENTO, CA -- Recently on the Today Show, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said that popular radio gasbag Rush Limbaugh is "irrelevent." Limbaugh fired back, saying that Schwarzenegger is a "closet liberal" and no R...Read full story
Donald Rumsfeld Reaches Autistic Toddler
(Hollywood-Florida) He may no longer be the Secretary of Defense, but Donald Rumsfeld is still causing controversy because of an eBay auction sketch of Rumsfeld. Three-year-old Jane Chaucer, who is autistic, drew it. It seems that Jane had not been...Read full story
"Don't ya truss me?"
Washington AC/DC - (Mess press): It was High Noon at the OK Corral today as President Bush asked Congress not to subject "hon rabble pubic servants an' phishin' buddies" to take a lie detector test during their depositions about eig...Read full story
Bill Gates Admits He is Bat Boy!
LAS VEGASS, NEVADA - (GEEKNOOZ) Standing in front of 25,000 attendees of the 25th Annual GEEKTECK 2007 Show, Bill Gates, Owner and Board Chairman at Microsoft (NYSE:MFST), announced...Read full story
Bay City Rollers: Joyce Hatto ripped off our royalties
New York - (Rotters): Fraudster pianist Joyce Hatto is once again at the heart of a royalities battle after 1970s UK pop band The Bay City Rollers filed a multi-million dollar law suit in the New York District Court...Read full story
Iran Launches Korean
Iran announced today that it had fulfilled it's obligation under the IRAN/NORTH KOREA/So you think we were Evil before eh/Pact...Read full story
Cricket Is Officially the World's Most Dangerous Sport
The once staid sport of cricket, usually associated with pullovers, warm beer and tea breaks, is now officially recognised by the Dangerous Sports Club, as the most dangerous sport in the world ahead of base jumping, free di...Read full story
Bob Woolmer - Ball-Tampering Suspected
Bob Woolmer, the ex-Kent and England batsman, and ex-Pakistan and South Africa coach, is only just nicely 'back in the pavilion', but the tongues are already wagging as to how he died.Read full story
Consumer Fury As Poundland Threatens Price Hike
Consumer groups are up in arms, after Britains biggest and most popular retail group threatened to increase its prices for the first time ever.Read full story
TV's Sexiest Women Revealed. Evangeline Lilly, Eva Longoria and Katherine Heigl Unknown Before Now.
TV Guide has revealed TV's sexiest women. The women are incredibly grateful to be revealed and freed of their lives of obscurity.Read full story
Über Corporate Militarism Marches On
Washington DC - President Bush has said that he would stop anybody on his staff from responding to any Congressional Subpoena in connection with any scandal or investigation of wrong doing. Bush said: "I decide who did the wrong things, not som...Read full story
Swiss Tunnel Dubbed the 'Feat of the 21st Century', Future Scientists and Peacemakers Furious.
The world's longest tunnel, which the Swiss have dug through the Alps, is being hailed as the 'feat of the 21st century' even though the 21st century still has some way to go. This has angered a lot of people.Read full story
Cruise to star in Archer's Who Framed Judas movie
Hollywood - (ReUterus): Take one wacky self-publicising Hollywood cult exponent and wannabe world redeemer.Read full story
No Story Yet On The Elsa Pataky Bare Breast Rumour
There is no news yet on the Breasts on a Beach star Elsa Pataky whose rumours have been making a ripple today due to a spreading story involving a topless model, a beach, and a photo...Read full story
Al Gore and Antonella Barba to Receive Top Awards Today From American Academy of Fantasy and Science Fiction Writers.
Al Gore and Antonella Barba will receive their prestigious "Jedi Knight" statues in person when the Academy of Fantasy and Science Fiction Writers hold their annual "Jedi Knights Award Ceremnony" in a cow pasture in Roswell, New...Read full story
Britney leaves rehab wearing coke patch
Malibu - (Ass press): Singer Britney Spears has completed a 28 day treatment course at the Promises, Promises! rehab and has checked out sporting what looks like a cocaine patch on her arm.Read full story
Superdog Rusty To Make Comeback
Canine singing sensation 'Rockin' Rusty' - the dog who took the world of music by storm following his recent successful appearance at the Knebworth Festival - has signed a ten million dollar contact with Virgin. His first single, 'Ain...Read full story
Animal rights activists have solution to all animal cruelty worldwide.
Following on from the furore caused by the baby polar bear in Berlin zoo hullabaloo, animal rights activists have come up with a solution to end animal cruelty once and for all.Read full story
Graphic Video Shows Valerie Plame Undercover While Hostile Witness Forces Waxman Hearings To Adjourn Early.
Bombshell evidence exploded today in hearings chaired by Representative Commissar Henry Waxman (Democrat-Peoples Republic of California) into the undercover status of CIA Agent Valerie Plame. Members of Commisar Waxman's Government Reform Committ...Read full story
Tottenham And Chelsea Fans Bury The Hatchet
The Football Association has contacted Tottenham Hotspur after what they say was 'an unsavoury incident' during Monday's FA Cup quarter final tie with Chelsea, which the Blues won 2-1.Read full story
Harry Potter Arrested And Up Before The Beak
Shock news today as it has emerged that boy wizard, Harry Potter, has been arrested by Hogsmeade CID for "fiddling" with horses.Read full story
Mr Tumble Trips and says Something Special.
Mr. Tumble, the presenter of the BBC's Something Special show, has reportedly been greeting children by telling them in sign language that he's... well.... "--------" them (starts with an 'F').Read full story
Not the King of the Jungle, BBC presenter Simon King attacked by Cheetah
BBC presenter Simon King has been mildly attacked by a rather small and sick female Cheetah.Read full story
England Cricket Gets Crooked After Getting Crocked
A potholed practice area at the Beausejour Stadium caused England some anguish yesterday when the captain Michael Vaughan tripped and fell during fielding drills and spent the remainder of the session receiving ice treatment from the physiotherapist...Read full story
AZ 2 PAY 4 Die-alysis!
Arizona has decided to provide free Dialysis for illegals dying of end-term kidney failure. The same Arizona that provides La Migra with the "Funnel of Hell" by channeling immigrants through the inferno of the Sonoran desert by packing immi...Read full story
Patience With War Dead Is A Virtue!
Bush can't believe that Americans are not patient enough to endure more than three thousand dead US soldiers and countless Iraqi casualities. The Decider-in-Chief is urging the American people to be patient because: "This war is winnable!&qu...Read full story
No Heat but Tons of oil
One of the largest oil deposits in North America was recently discovered by Exon Mobile under an apartment house in Trenton New Jersey.Read full story
Crying Girl From American Idol, DEF?
Ashley, the infamous Crying Girl from Tuesday's American Idol episode, has been confirmed as being DEF.Read full story
English Only Legislation Spin-Offs
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the presidential election campaign gets into full swing, expect Republicans to start rolling out some of their old tried and true proposals to energize the base, things like flag burning bans, gay marriage prohibitions, and En...Read full story
Animal Rights Activists Call for Killing of Bear
BERLIN -- Animal rights activists are demanding that a polar bear born last December at the Berlin Zoo, rejected by its mother and depending on humans to be raised, be killed. They claim Knut's cuteness is against his own animal rights and that...Read full story
Worst tacky hairdye: Alberto Gonzales or Gov Mitt Romney?
Washington AC/DC - (Rotters): The American electorate is fiercely divided tonight on the burning issue of the day: who has the worse cheap looking, tacky hairdye job Attorney General Alberto Gonzales or Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney?...Read full story