The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter
After staying up all night playing Russian Roulette with America, I spy with Russia, and sniff & tweet with some nasty girls, Donald Trump is in trouble again! His team of babysitters woke up to chaos at the crack of Trump which turned into more...
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Quit Picking On Trump And Trump's Tweets
The nation should just plain quit picking on Trump and his tweets! For heaven's sakes! Grow up! What happened to freedom of the press? Doesn't Trump have a right to an opinion? Just because T was allegedly elected to the highest office in the wor...
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Donald Trump Checkup Said to Reveal He Is Overweight Asshole
New York - Donald J. Trump released on Wednesday the results from his most recent physical examination, revealing that he is overweight, takes a statin for cholesterol, and is an asshole. Although Mr. Trump's weight has been a source of debate, wi...
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Why is Trump Not in Alaska Voter Pamphlet?
Alaskan voters will not get information about Donald Trump in their voter pamphlets though his name will be on the ballot. Voters won't get informed about Gary Johnson either. Both campaigns missed the August 30th deadline for submitting mater...
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Florida Man, Dead for Years, Voted in US Presidential Election
A Florida journalist who died tragically in Miami in 2012 during what was dubbed "a strip club pole-dancing accident involving a D-list female celebrity," has informed the White House he is willing to testify about his illegal vote for Hillary Clinto...
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With Ryan Lochte Out, Trump Lands Speedo
New York City, NY - With Ryan Lochte losing his Speedo sponsorship amidst an international Olympic scandal, Donald J. Trump has been selected as Speedo's newest spokesperson. As part of the lucrative contract, Trump has agreed to wear a Speedo under...
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"This Bud's for you" - Hillary Clinton Caught wearing Earpiece during Presidential Forum
Deciphering Donald: A Look at the Rumsfeld Doctrine of Information Dissemination
Hillary Groundhog Day Proclaimed
Naked Voting: How Liberals Got Their Groove Back
Trumpenstein - The Horror The Republicans Created That Now Comes Back To Devour Them.
Bernie Sanders Brings Down the House with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton at Democratic National Convention
Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring
Fun NEW Series - Alternative Reality Presents: My First Interview with Donald Trump
Expressing Regrets, Trump Hosts Party in Mexico
Donald Trump Favored to Win New York City Marathon
Looser Guccifer 2.0 blows whistle on Hillary and Mueller as they celebrate The Report in sleazy nightclub
Trump Adds NDA to Pledge of Allegiance

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse
In a groundbreaking pronouncement, the International Forum of Theoretical Physicists today stated that Donald Trump's election confirmed the existence of the multiverse. At a press conference held at the National Academy of Sciences, Belinda Suarez,...
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George and Weezy Jefferson Offer Dry Cleaning Services to Dr. Ben Carson
New York - Prominent East Side dry cleaning magnate George Jefferson and his wife Weezy have offered support to Dr. Ben Carson's troubled presidential campaign. Speaking from their Deluxe Apartment In The Sky today, the Jeffersons urged Dr. Carson t...
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Donald Trump Thanks Satire Media for Gifting Him 2016 Election
Hey! Listen up, you poor, miserable, deluded little satire writers. You guys thought you could make fun of the old Trump here, you thought I was just like all the other guys, right? Yeah, I know what you guys do. I know your style. You did it to Clinton. You did to Bush. You're doing it to Obama. And somehow, you poor, pitiful little satire scribblers and jaded comedy jacks thought you cou...
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Hillary Exposed Again Masquerading As Department Store Santa
Seattle, Washington - As I reported last year, during the Christmas holidays and after the presidential election, Hilary Clinton was caught masquerading as Santa in an iconic downtown New York City department store and arrested. Store management got...
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Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump
Spokespersons for Mr. Trump have rushed forward to clarify that Mr. Trump has absolutely nothing to do with the latest alarm concerning genitalia eating fish with human teeth. The pacu under scrutiny (related to the piranha) favors male genitalia...
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Oops! I'm Running Again (for Rick Perry)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Oops! I'm running again You'd better believe I'm in this to win Oh baby It might seem like a rush But you know I'm serious 'Cause I grew up in Texas Where you know we hate taxes. Oh baby, baby Oops, I'm running again I played with your heart and refused Medicaid Oh baby, baby Oops, you know that I'm real That I'm sent from a...
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Donald Trump Hospitalized After Choking on His Own Ego
BURNT CORN, AL--Donald Trump, at a rally Tuesday in Alabama, was hospitalized after he began choking on his own ego. Trump was building up to the peroration of his speech, in which he praised himself as the sole solution to all that ails the Uni...
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Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines
New studies indicate large numbers of dead people are lining up to vote across the country in advance of November 8. Nigel J. Provender, president of CWS (Cadavers With Soul), is in one of these lines. He reveals that Mr. Trump's claim dead peo...
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The Party of Trump Rewrites the Constitution
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Republican Party, responding to the powerful Constitutional Originalists of its white supremacist base (which assures the GOP establishment that it knows the original intent of the founding fathers even more than the founders the...
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Trump: "Only Rich People Should Be Allowed To Play Golf"
"Only rich people should be allowed to play golf," said Donald Trump, real-estate magnate, tycoon, impresario of the rich, international icon and now - of course - political contender for the presidency of our great country. More specifically, h...
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Socks Speaks Out: Clintons' White House Cat Speaks Through Pet Psychic
Socks, the black and white tuxedo cat who was a Clinton family pet during the entire Bill Clinton presidency 1993-2001, contacted a medium, to weigh in on the 2016 presidential election. Speaking through Charisma Rhapsody, pet psychic, Socks spok...
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Donald Trump Is The King Of Russian Spies
A top Russian diplomat & Vladimir Putin's spokesman came out of the closet Thursday. They admitted that Russian experts touched the Trump campaign more than once during the Presidential campaign and it felt so good. They said they were so happy P...
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Hillary's Latest Trash-Talk! Clinton Equates "Feel the Bern" with Gonorrhea
Having had little success calling into question her chief political rival's personal integrity or agenda in light of her own checkered political past, Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton recently resorted to some good, old-fashioned tra...
Read full storyFunny 2016 Presidential Election Headlines
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Oops! I'm Running Again (for Rick Perry)
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Donald Trump Thanks Satire Media for Gifting Him 2016 Election
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George and Weezy Jefferson Offer Dry Cleaning Services to Dr. Ben Carson
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Hillary's Latest Trash-Talk! Clinton Equates "Feel the Bern" with Gonorrhea
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Trump: "Only Rich People Should Be Allowed To Play Golf"
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Donald Trump Hospitalized After Choking on His Own Ego
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With Ryan Lochte Out, Trump Lands Speedo
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Donald Trump Checkup Said to Reveal He Is Overweight Asshole
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Why is Trump Not in Alaska Voter Pamphlet?
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Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse
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The Party of Trump Rewrites the Constitution
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Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump
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Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines
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Hillary Defends Bill's Reputation
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Socks Speaks Out: Clintons' White House Cat Speaks Through Pet Psychic
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The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter
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Donald Trump Is The King Of Russian Spies
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Florida Man, Dead for Years, Voted in US Presidential Election
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Quit Picking On Trump And Trump's Tweets
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Hillary Exposed Again Masquerading As Department Store Santa