Written by JennyNorthStar

Saturday, 22 October 2016

image for Clinton Camp Launches Blowjobs for Votes Campaign

How do you know the U.S. is having a crazy presidential race?

Easy, when the main stream media's headlines and stories look pale in comparison to the ones on this website.

I couldn't make this one up even if I tried....

Last week, while opening for comedian Amy Schumer in New York's Madison Square Garden, the 58-year-old "Like a Virgin" singer, Madonna, pledged to perform oral sex on voters who cast their ballots for Hillary Clinton. She proclaimed: "If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job." Madonna boasted: "And I'm good!" "I'm not a tool." "I take my time."

Men who had not given much credence or paid much attention to the other pro-Clinton celebrity ads, this got their juices flowing. One man in the crowd said: "Maybe it's time I boned-up all the political news and got on the Clinton train."

An observer at the event said: "When the show was over, a long line of men were observed at voter registration booths - conveniently setup just outside Madison Square Garden.

When a Clinton campaign representative was asked about offering sex for votes she said: "We already have all the Latino and people of color votes because Trump is a racist." "We have all women voters after that "Access Hollywood" tape where Trump said he likes to grab women by the pussy." "The only voters left were young white men." "Let's just say, we women know what "head" they think with!"

The Clinton camp has been actively recruiting voter poll workers who will be willing to not be "a tool" on election day and who will "take their time". The only qualifications necessary: Big wet lips, not afraid of getting a mouthful, and deep throats. To accommodate the new Clinton campaign strategy, they have requested that all voting precincts replace the traditional voting booths, normally just a curtain covering the top half of a person, to a curtain that extends all the way to the ground. Although many experts say this will slow down voting, make the lines of people waiting to vote longer, at least many of the men who didn't want to vote for a woman as president will be leaving the voting booth smiling.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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