Written by alaskamojo

Monday, 15 February 2016

image for Marco Rubio... A double negative too far
Rubio prepares to perform the rare triple negative double flip entendre

Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio confused Meet the Press viewers and its moderator Chuck Todd on Sunday with his overuse of negatives in response to questions regarding fault for the 9/11 attacks. Todd asked repeatedly that Rubio clarify. Essentially the exchange went like this:

Todd: "Are you putting 9/11 on Clinton?"

Rubio: "No. I am putting it on Clinton."

Rubio's failure to clarify left viewers wondering what if he was president next year and the following exchange played out in the Oval Office:

"Sir, the Koreans launched a missile with a warhead. It is 20 minutes from Washington. Should we take it out?"

"No. I want you to blow it up before it hits us."

"So that's a Yes?"

"No. I am not not saying to take it out."

"So you want us shoot it down?"

"No. To clarify, Yes. Don't shoot it down. Don't not take it out."

"Sorry Sir. I am used to the last president. He always knew exactly what he was saying and so did I. The missile will be here in 10 minutes. Should we blow it up in mid air before it has the chance to kill us all?"

"Of course... not. Don't not not shoot it down, Goddam it! Sorry you heard that kids (aside)."

"Sir, just blink once if you want us to shoot it down. Blink twice if you don't want us to shoot it down."

"Damn. Just got something in my eye... Oops."

.... BOOM

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more