At a press conference on Thursday night, Hillary Clinton blew off accusations that her husband was just as bad a womanizer as Donald Trump:
"Come on, people," she protested. "It's not like my Billy goes around looking for a blow job. Quite on the contrary, he can be going about his daily affairs, minding his own business, when, out of nowhere, some twenty year old bombshell drops to her knees, hauls his drawers down, and commences the hoover manoeuver. I mean, honestly, what gives these bimbos the right to take advantage of the poor boy like that?"
"I know," she continued, "that some of you won't be inclined to believe it. Quite frankly, I was rather incredulous at first, but, when Go Pro cameras first became available, he readily agreed to wear one for a week. Now we have video evidence: Monica Lewinski, Melania Trump, even Tiger Woods..."