Spoof news snippets from Monday 25 October 2010
Regulators looking into foreclosure mess!
Regulator Czar looking into regulators overlooking foreclosures mess.
WikiLeaks Doesn't Spare Obama
WikiLeaks docs raise questions of Obama policies as torture continued under his watch and could be yet.
Ancient Burial Ground Discovered
Ancient burial ground unearthed! "Everybody dug up so far was at least 950 years-old", says worker.
Obama Suddenly Sick At Stomach
Suspicious package destroyed near site of scheduled Obama speech was apparently 20 million dollars in cash to help Dems stay in office.
Japan, China Butting Heads Again
Japan protests Chinese patrols near disputed islands. China replies: You want to disappear overnight?
Excitement In Tennessee
There's plenty of excitement in East Tennessee today as native son Al Gore has decided to change his name to Hal Gore! Remember you heard it here first!
No Worse Than Stuffed Bras!
Shy individual who would like to meet others who have actually rolled up a sock in their crotch. Lets make some plans. Ducks @ TheSpoof Box 89.
Meeting Of The Minds
MENSA member would like to meet with others with high IQ's to discuss the String Theory and the possibility that all those roadside kills were suicides. TheSpoof Box 45.
Manly Man Seeks Man To Discuss Bossy Wife
Real Manly Man seeks another Real Man to discuss those idiot wives who don't seem to know how manly we are. Call TheSpoof 111 but not while Daisy is around.
For Goodness Sacks!
In return for sacks of money each month, Pakistan leader Karzai calls Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad every day and says, "YOU THE MAN!"
Still Can't Find Him
Report: Not only has bin Laden been living in a comfortable house the past three years but he is now "Lady Laden".
Obama Wants Banks To Pay Customers To Borrow
President Obama propose that banks give away $500 with home loans at 3% interest. "We'll refund it down the road."
From Cryonics Center
Both Ted Williams and Walt Disney recommending that cooler heads prevail in Mideast discussions.
Bob Dole No Lame Duck
Bob Dole says that he never was a lame duck in the GOP but was a lame dick until discovering Viagra.
Obama Could Be Lame Duck
President Barack Obama could be the biggest lame duck in history if ratings get below 35% approval.
Dirty Politics #6
Politics in America even worse this year as Nancy Pelosi threatens to cut of the head of anyone trying to take over her position as Leader of the House!
No Multicultural In Germany
Germany's Merkel: Multicultural Society Not Working . We Need Pure Germans Here! Sieg Heil!
They Feel No Pain!
Mob gangsters who serve as hit men make an effort to clean up their image.
Play Pretty Now Kids!
Kids in Middle School in California experiment with building a small nuclear device.
Losing Benefits
60 MINS: When Unemployment Benefits Run Out After Ten Years, What Do You Do?
Favre Admits Voicemails
REPORT: Favre admits leaving voicemails -- but not photos of himself naked. "That would have ruined the whole thing."
GOP Loves Ice Cream, Dems Doughnuts
SURVEY: Top Brands Favored by Democrats and Republicans. Your tax money at work!
Never Told US Public!
Dollar at Risk of Becoming 'Toxic Waste' as Fed's secretive $300B CITIBANK bailout!
Carter's Memory Going!
Jimmy Carter: America hasn't improved much over past 3 decades since I led us to hostage glory in Iran!
Pelosi: No Credit Given
PELOSI: 'We really haven't gotten the credit for what we have done'. Opponents: 'That will come next Tuesday.'
Aliens spotted over Rotherham, UK, their navi system broke down!
An alien spaceship was filmed flying above the Yorkshire metropole, Rotherham, it seems their navi-system broke down on the way to Dubai. They were hoping for an autograph from another alien, Rooney
Two Can Play At This!
GOOGLE CEO: Don't Like 'Street View' Photographing Your House? Then Move. Reaction: People begin placing nude women pics in window so Google charged with posting porn.
Packed Into One Section?
CLINTON PLAYS TO HIGH SCHOOL GYM: TWO-THIRDS EMPTY! "Packing Them In!" according to Yahoo!
$5 Trillion Increase
Debt Has Increased $5 Trillion Since Speaker Pelosi Vowed, 'No New Deficit Spending'. Would have been worse if GOP in charge, says Pelosi!
"Obama Can Shove It"
RI Dem: Obama can 'take his endorsement and shove it'. Admits he's using reverse psychology.
Mexican Border Roadblock On Trucks Resumes
All trucks are being stopped and checked by Drug Warlords on Mexican border's other side. Many turned back because of carrying drugs from other drug sales people.
I Think I Read The Map Wrong!
Gunmen attack own weapons factory by mistake, at least 410 killed in super explosion.
Black Candidates Ignored
Black GOP Candidates Accuse Party of Ignoring Them or somebody said something like that.
Dirty Politics #5
Political ads: Mean, and getting meaner, before Nov. 2. "Harry Reid placed his own mother in nursing home when she turned 45."
Iran Restricts Students
Iran restricts social sciences seen as 'Western', also "The Movies Of John Wayne".
Obama Stepping Across Aisle Hears Pants Rip
After the midterm elections: How Obama can meet promises without complete control of both houses after he couldn't with the support of both houses the first two years.
BUG OUT!!!
As bedbugs creep out NYC citizens, tourists crawl away and bug people every place they stop.
Karzai: Bring It On!
Karzai says his office gets cash from Iran, US, Russia, Israel, Bill Farris of 112 Main Street in New Liberty, Indiana!
Dirty Politics #4
Political ads: Mean, and getting meaner, before Nov. 2. "Rand Paul steps on sidewalk cracks on purpose to hurt his mother's back!"
Dirty politics #3
Political ads: Mean, and getting meaner, before Nov. 2. "Nancy Pelosi eats shit but won't die!"
Dirty Politics #2
Political ads: Mean, and getting meaner, before Nov. 2. "Harry Reid has a "Kill All The Gay Baby Whales" sticker on his car!"
Mean Politics
Political ads: Mean, and getting meaner, before Nov. 2. "Rand Paul outs cats in wheelie bins!"
World Series Blackout?
Possible World Series TV blackout for NYC. Many say the Yankees blacked out right after the first game with Texas.
World Series Blackout
Possible World Series TV blackout for NYC..to shame the Yankees and the Mets!
Male Manchester patients are warned, you could lose your balls!
A Jordanian surgeon has cut off a testicle after removing a cyst from the man, he wanted to do his bit for reducing the world population and increase the Eunuch population at the same time!
X Factor's Mary Byrne could fill the Royal Albert Hall all by herself, claims Louis Walsh proudly.
Heartbroken Mary immediately joins a gym and becomes a salad-botherer.
Italian seaside resort bans mini-skirts, but tanga's and topless are Bella Donna!
In a typical show of Italian hypocrisy a seaside resort has banned mini-skirts and the feeding of "stray pussy" with "Italian sausage" but tangas and topless no problema, bella!
Paranormal II Top Moneymaker
'Paranormal' follow-up with guy sitting on back seat with a chain saw, scares $41.5M out of fans
Docs Urged To Look For Depression
Kids' docs urged to screen new moms for depression, especially those that have over ten.
Risky Sex Behavior In Teens
Study reveals risky sex behavior among NYC teens as three new Naked Bruiser Gangs formed.
Japan & India Deal
Japan, India sign deal to boost trade, investment mostly just to spite China.
Better Mileage Sought
Government calling for better gas mileage for trucks, tanks!
Obama To Focus On Being President
Obama likely to focus on deficit in next 2 years since he's been partying, campaigning and vacationing the first two years!
Overseas Ties Changing
Analysis: Overseas ties could be in for change as "Let's Drop The Big One Now" Party gaining new voters every day.
Switch The Good
AP-GfK Poll: One-third may still switch candidates, another one-third want tar & feathers!
Bhutan Updates #2
Bhutan: Slowly, Internet, Smoke Signals and Communication Let the World In!
Risky Sex!
Study reveals risky sex behavior among NYC teens...for fiftieth year in a row.
Bhutan Changing
Bhutan: Slowly, Magic Lantern, Internet and Communication Let the World In!
Gay Voters Angry
Gay voters angry at Democrats could sway election according to new booklet, "Hung Like An Elephant".
NYC Announces Improvement
NYC says that bedbug problem improving as most tourists carrying many away in luggage.
Now It's Fleas
Canadian at Guantanamo to announce flea decision. Sorry, that should be "Plea" decision.
Video Of Escaping Oil Showed Was Stuck
BP CEO slams media, rivals for boosting spill fears. There was little oil involved!
Schools Facing Muslim Demands
Muslim demands rise in French state schools: study. France plans to give in as usual.
Hobbit March!
Thousands of New Zealanders took to the country's streets to protest against possible plans to move production of Jackson's "Hobbit" movies overseas. "All know that Middle Earth is in NZ", say fans.
Is WikiLeaks a whistleblower or an outlaw?
In war time they have ALWAYS been an outlaw, a traitor!
Red-Eye Flight A Doozie
Red-Eye Flight out of New York filled with those so drunk they could barely make it to their seats.
Terror Epicenter
Pakistan border region becomes terror epicenter. US apologizes for dropping daisy cutter bomb..which hasn't happened yet.
NYC Bedbugs Routing Tourists
NYC bedbugs scaring off NYC tourists. Anyone with a quick, permanent solution could become millionaire overnight.
Richard Bullies Belize!
Hurricane Richard's winds, rain batter tiny country. "Belize leave us alone", they plead.
Big Brother, Google
Google says its cars grabbed emails and passwords. Will be glad to wipe out your records for a small fee.
Rats In NYC Getting Fatter
NYC winos in alley say they have no bedbugs. Rats ate them all.
Airlines Bugged!
Now all major airlines in and out of NYC say their planes are infested with bedbugs.
Bedbug Plague
WHO: Many people who run into bedbugs in NYC are carrying them all over the world.
The Bedbug Flight
NYC bedbugs scaring off NYC tourists as many seen scratching their way through NYC airports.
More Countries Wished Out Of Existance
Iran restricts social sciences seen as 'Western'. "Even though there are no western countries", states Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. "They don't exist."
Health Insurance Problems
Employers looking at health insurance options. May just add a bit to your check and tell you to go get your own.
Obama Frustrated
Obama on economic frustration: I've borrowed our great grandchildrens money and still no jobs.
We'd Already Figured That Out
Survey: economy to grow at slower pace..especially with those currently in charge in Washington.
Don't Blame Them
AP-GfK Poll: One-third may still switch candidates. Wish they could find new ones to write in. Sick of present group.
Screwed Again!
BP sells 4 Gulf of Mexico fields for $650 million to bank in Nigeria. "Glad we're out o that mess", says CEO.
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Ad Shows Republicans Working with Tow Truck Driver
Republicans want to show they can work with common people, so they are running a new TV add showing them working with a tow truck driver who is pulling a car out of the ditch.
Free Gas Card for Voting Republican This November 2
Republicans are offering free gas cards to voters that vote for them this November 2. The cards can only be used at BP gas stations.
Hurricane Richard Made Landfall In Belize, Was Overcharged For his Hotel Room, Hated the Food...
Hurricane Richard Made Landfall In Belize, Was Overcharged For his Hotel Room, Hated the Food, Thought the Nighlife Sucked, Left.
Britain to Cut Deficit by Cutting Trees
Britain to sell half its woodlands for expansion of holiday resorts, golf courses & logging operations. The PM told tree huggers & global warming fanatics to bugger-off, it's the economy stupid!
Promises, Promises
California Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jerry Brown has promised, if he is elected, to get the state legislature to outlaw shark attacks!
New EPA Regulations
The EPA is proposing fuel consumption and emissions reduction standards for Tonka trucks, Matchbox cars and little red wagons beginning with those units sold in the 2014-2018 model years.
Follow the Money
An aid to Afghani President Karzai may be taking bagfuls of Iranian money to promote their interests in Afghanistan. President Obama said he would ask China for some money so the US could do the same!
Texas Rangers Beat the NY Yankees
After the loss to the Texas Rangers the New York Yankee manager was offered a position with the Obama administration, a chance to join with other losers!
What a Revolting Development
Democratic Party stops giving money to the American Socialist Party to siphon votes from Republican candidates. Democratic far left wing liberals were defecting in droves to vote for ASP candidates!
Political Support Waning
Latest political poll of registered Democratic far left liberals in San Francisco indicates House Speaker Pelosi's support is sagging. She hopes to tighten the situation by using more Botox!
On the Fox News Channel
Presidential Press Secretary Gibbs announced that after the president finishes campaigning for Democrats, he will return to the White House to watch Republicans retake the US House & US Senate on TV.
Unusual Car Accident
A San Francisco CA parking lot attendant was found with his private body parts jammed up the tailpipe of a small Fiat sedan. Police said the man was suffering from exhaustion!
Unusual Hiking Accident
San Francisco CA man hiking in Olympic National Park WA was knocked unconscious by a mountain goat. The man claims he got up behind the goat to get some milk for making feta cheese!
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