Order by:
Rating:

Mrs. Cleaver Dies

Barbara Billingsley, Beaver Cleaver's TV mom, dies. Jerry Mathers asks brother, "Gee Wally, what's up with Mom?"

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

By Any Other Name

Florida company introduces new, red celery. Next week: Blue carrots!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

PLO Weighing Alternatives

Palestinians weighing alternatives to peace talks. Catapults seen being sneaked in from Syria.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Obama: Do Not Get Discouraged

Obama urges Democrats to not get discouraged! Breaks down into tears and is helped off the stage like at a James Brown performance. Draws applause from crowd.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Shake It, Break It

Actress Kirstie Alley's version of the "Hippy Hippy Shakes" shakes floor down to the basement at party.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Slick Guy From FEMA!

In a hearing Friday, a member of FEMA stated that the reason they were so slow getting help to people in Kentucky & Tennessee after last year's ice storm was because they kept busting their asses.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Kentucky Ernie Ford Wins Award

In Tennessee, Kentucky Ernie Ford, Tennessee Ford's grandson, has been named the BMI Songwriter of the Year for 2010 with his huge bestseller, "I'm All In, Love".

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Looking To Add Adult Customers

In a joint venture, Mrs Maple's Homemade cookies will be in the shape of Mrs Maple smoking one.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Dems Massage Legs?

As Democrats' massage legs, GOP awaits huge wins! I'm sorry, that should be "message lags".

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Germans Want Another Hitler?

Thirteen percent of Germans would welcome a 'Führer'. That's getting into George Bush, Jimmy Carter and soon, Obama numbers.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

More Good News For Obama

Obama's 52-year-old half brother in Kenya says he's married ten. I'm sorry, he's married a teen.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Toyota Bosses Getting Rough

Toyota sales people uneasy as one more recall and many will be order to commit hari-kari.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Inside Information Revealed By Prisoner

Stocks Prices on illegal cigarettes up to $5 each or sex according to an Insider report.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

"Where Is Kuju, in Alabama?"

More trouble for Toyota. Now the built in GPS systems only show Japan.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Hitler's original moustache Found !

The shaved off portions of Hitler's moustache were found near the site of the bunker he passed his last days in . It was bound in a small pouch with a note-with love to Eva - Adolf.

written by Kaleepeare, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Unfair Voting In California

California's pro-marijuana voters say voting not fair as they're too smashed to get to poll booths to vote next month.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

We're All In This Together

Hard times hitting everyone in the United States as many CEO's selling second private plane, 5th house.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

You Will Have Oil!

Chavez pledges oil to Belarus for 200 years, "maybe even 2,000 years", cries meek leader.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Obama Helps In Mass.

Obama aims to aid Mass. governor's re-election bid by asking Biden not to leave Washington, DC.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Bad Situation Made Worse?

Fuel supplies low as French protest austerity plan, making it even more austere. "That should teach them!"

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Chilean Mine Rescue Tragedy Latest:

17 TV viewers die of boredom.

written by Skoob1999, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Choice Of Five Dishes For Inmates

Porridge à la carte: Minister says inmates should have choice of FIVE dishes for dinner. "All taste the same, anyway", say prisoners.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

No Time Served After 100 Crimes

In Briton: As career criminals with 100 convictions are spared jail, MPs ask... What DOES get you locked up? "Using the wrong wheelie bin!", say police.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Old Celtic Dies

Ex-Ohio State basketball star Larry Siegfried, who won five NBA titles in seven years with the Boston Celtics, has turned the ball over. He was 71.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Just Checking Up On Him!

Pastor caught on video stealing pain meds from parishioner, police say. "Just checking to see if my healing ceremony was all he depended on", claims pastor.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

We'll Last Only 3.7 Billion Years?

Time is running out, maybe, scientists say anew; they give us 3.7 billion years. That's 'billion', not 'million' so don't panic!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Obama Billboard Removed

Controversial anti-Obama billboard taken down by owners in Colorado after court order. It was burned as group danced around it.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Niger: #2 Is A Stinker!

Niger's former No. 2 junta leader arrested for plotting to 'eliminate' the head of the regime.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

India Investigating Corruption At Games

India orders investigation into corruption allegations at Corruption Games according to the Times of India.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Richards Calls Jagger Ugly!

Rolling Stone Keith Richards: Mick Jagger 'unbearable'. "'Must be the ugliest human being on this whole moon.'

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Alita A No-Show At Obama Speech

After Obama diss last year, Supreme Court member Alito plans to skip next State of the Union. "I won't sit there and be insulted.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

How's That Again?

New poll shows that the slowdown in hiring new workers by private firms has accelerated!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

French Strike Still On!

Paris airport Charles de Gaulle running short on fuel as pension strikes in France enter fifth day. Sarkozy still says retirement can no longer come with the big the big 5-0!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Cotton At 140-Year High!

Cotton Prices Hit 140-Year High. That collection from old aspirin bottles in the bathroom could be worth a fortune!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

No Time For Debates!

PELOSI: No time to debate opponent because 'time is money' and it's once again vacation time!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

China: We Are Not To Blame!

China to USA: We are not to blame for your problems...except for all the crappy products.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Taxing The Sh*t Out Of Them!

New York County Staring At A Possible 'Toilet Tax'!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Lapdance Eye Injury Settlement

Man Awarded $650K for Eye Injury Sustained During Lap Dance. Witnesses say his eyes were at least bugged out an inch in front of his head!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Tired Of War!

Support for Afghanistan war at all-time low...especially among Afghans.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Economy Growing Too Slow!

Bernanke: Economy growing too slowly to reduce unemployment. May need to continue unemployment payments until 2015 if there's any money lift.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Swimming Could Get You Wet!

Nyad scrubs Cuba-Florida swim bid due to weather as it looks like it good get very wet.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Roethlisberger's Return!

Pittsburgh Steelers get set for Roethlisberger's return! Roethlisberger's place now occupied by Brett Favre!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Acropolis Open Again

Acropolis opens to visitors after 3-day blockade. Athena and Poseidon lean out protesters!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Lorry load of onions spill on M1.

Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.

written by matthatt, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men.

Laurel and Hardy.

written by matthatt, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Big Art Exhibit!

Exhibit of Titan masterpieces opening in Atlanta biggest art museum! I'm sorry, that should have been Titian!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

The Hobbit To Be Shot!

Jackson to start shooting 'The Hobbit' in February. Joe Jackson says the varmint has till then to leave his land.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Botox For Migraines!

FDA approves Botox for migraine headaches as frowning can make permanent lines on forehead.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Just A Suggestion!

Clinton: US working to ending Mexico drug violence. How about bringing soldiers home from Afghanistan to clean-up borders?

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

How About Anti-Smoking Laws Speech?

Facebook works to remove anti-gay hate speech. Faces ACLU and freedom of speech.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Make Computer Use Safer

US eyes ways to make computer use safer online, on your lap!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

French car designer, Renault, new Quasimodo based car.

The Hatchback of Notre Dame.

written by matthatt, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Lousiana state court jury fines pharma co over misleading claims about antipsychotic drug

Said spokesman: "Kill! I kill you! I kill you all! I kill your families!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 16 October 2010
Rating:

It's A Mixed Bag!

Tea party candidates help - and hurt - Republicans! Pot party candidates help - and hurt - Democrats.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Pot Or Not?

Clinton rallies Calif Democrats in crucial smokeout vote!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Obama: Exporting Jobs Could Be Causing Job Loses Here!

Obama: End tax breaks to stop overseas hiring. "We think this is contributing to high joblessness here."

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Human Bones Found In Open Pit!

The scene at a cemetery in southern Arizona was startling - two open pits filled with human skulls, ribs, femurs and other bones. Police questioning Cremations at near-by funeral home.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Opposes Pot Legalization!

Feds oppose Calif. Prop 19 to legalize marijuana. "Some of us would lose our jobs."

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Tampa Bay In Trouble?

New Global Plan Aims to Wipe Out Tampa Bay Bucs? I'm sorry, that should be TB!

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Really Strange Bedfellows

Bill The Dill) Clinton stumps for ex-foe Jerry (Moonchild) Brown in California: "Jerry's not half as crazy as I said he was!"

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Miners Not Talking

Chile's rescued miners mum on nightmare experience. "Bad enough to have to live through it", says spokesman. "Just as soon forget it."

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Parking Garage Moving Forward?

Parking garage moving forward as many are now parking elsewhere. "You come back to get your car and it's on the next block!"

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

NY Yanks Purchasing Another Pennant

Yankees, with two stars earning more than all Texas players combined, rally in 8th, beat Texas in ALCS opener.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Investment Vultures Increase Pressure

Investment vultures increase pressure on Yahoo CEO, Carrion with their activities.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Singer Has Baby Boy!

Singer Alicia Keys gives birth to baby boy, without ever missing a note.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Why Not Legalize & Tax?

Feds oppose Calif. Prop 19 to legalize marijuana. "How can there be any kick-backs with all that legal stuff?"

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Profiting Off The Heroes

Man accused of US Navy vet scam indicted in Ohio. He would once upon a time, receive a firing squad sentence.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

The Slimeball Wizard

Man accused of US Navy vet scam indicted in Ohio as Vet Charity he asked for help & got it, went into own pockets?

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Ann Arbor Struggling

Ann Arbor struggles with homeless influx. Will there be a future "Obama Tent City"?

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

No "Special Favors" Required

Finally, US Army makes progress for women in uniform, and not without a uniform.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

May Have To Share

So you bought a foreclosed home. Now what? Well, it's possible that you may have to share it with family that were forced out. Can't we all get along?

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

We Agree, Mr. President

Obama: End tax breaks to stop overseas hiring as there are a few people here in the US that have no jobs, or so I've heard."

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Base Voters Encouraged

Obama looks to rally base for Mass. governor. "A lot of you base people voted for me here."

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Liverpool's New Buyer - What's All The Fuss Says Seaport

Pompey superfan Jake Seaport says: "Can't understand why he went to all that trouble to buy Liverpool! Come on mate - we need an owner. Pompey's better than them scousers!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 16 October 2010
Rating:

All French Decide to Retire Now

The French People today decided to stop arguing with Sarkozy and every single French person will drop what they are doing and retire, eliminating the need for a retirement age.

written by Jean Le Fete, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Tom and Jerry Come Out of Retirment

Tom and Jerry have come out of retirement to make new cartoons. Age has taken its toll on the pair, Tom is in a wheel chair and will have to roll after Jerry, who uses a walker.

written by Jean Le Fete, 16 October 2010
Rating:

Freed Miners Wearing Dark Glasses!

Chile miners wore dark eye shades to get gradually use to the light and also not to see their shadows and have to go back down hole for six weeks.

written by Bureau, 16 October 2010
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