Order by:
Rating:

All Incumbants Out?

PAPER: Pelosi & Family flights cost taxpayers $2.1 million. But no raise for social security poor.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Science Project Goes Wrong

Science experiment gone awry forces evacuation of Houston area high school as six-foot white rat goes on a tear!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Housing Mess Now Global

Deal reached in defective Chinese drywall case; hundreds of homes to be fixed as soon as it can be determined if family or bank owns each house.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Hockey Player Cut From Team

Canadian college hockey player accused in murder of fellow student is suspended from team. Some say punishment too severe.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

No Crime That!

BARNEY FRANK: It's no crime having pals with money, big old penis!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Dems Dogged!

Stance on Fannie and Freddie dogs Democrats. Pisses on their pants leg.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Let Her Rip!

White House Senior Adviser Valerie Jarrett apologized Thursday morning for referring to a gay teen who committed suicide as having made a "lifestyle choice." "That one slipped out. Also, my comment."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Twenty States Can Sue!

JUDGE RULES: 20 STATES CAN SUE TO BLOCK OBAMACARE! Arizona asks to be first for some reason.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

BP Stations Being Courted

Hoping for defection, gas companies court BP station owners. "You don't want to be connected to that spill", says rep. from Exxon Mobil.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

O'Reilly Causes Goldberg To Beep Ten Times

Goldberg, Behar walk off 'The View' set during O'Reilly interview. "And Whoopi Goldgerg is such an innocent", adds O'Reilly.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Disney Denies Extra Dwarf

Disney World says there is no such dwarf as Wedgy. Claim outsider came in dressed like the other seven and went about his business. Never-the-less parents seeing attorneys.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Japan Recalls Toy Before Holidays

Japan's Tootle's "Little Boy's Funeral Home Set" being recalled. Kids could swallow autopsied parts.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Nearly Identical Ingredients

Pfizer Drugs, producer of Viagra, now say they have invented a pill that will temporarily cure the blahs.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

The Spoof Writer's Meeting Moved

Skoob, Colonel Juan, friends asked to leave bar after causing a laugh riot.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Might Pass Yet

Islamic builders of the mosque & faith center at ground zero say they will include a non-prophet Krispy Kreme in honor of all NYC Policemen.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Same Sex Marriages OK For Muppets

The US Supreme Court has ruled that same-sex muppets can marry. "Since they only have hands instead of glands."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Obama Related to Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh

"War is over if you want it!" reminded an exasperated John Lennon.

written by Revisorius, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Jaws enters British Waters

Never seen before, very hungry Great Whites have been seen swimming off of the British coast, they're sick of eating skinny Australian surfers and prefer the porkier, fattier Brit version!

written by Jaggedone, 14 October 2010
Rating:

No Cancer In Mummies

Cancer 'is purely man-made' say scientists after finding almost no trace of disease in Egyptian mummies, many living to the ripe old age of 39.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

The Tax Collector Jiggle!

Philippine tax collectors join dance mania. Many at the end of a rope!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Some 72 Virgins?

Australian accused of taking brides in Afghanistan. I'm sorry, that should have been 'bribes'.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

We'll See If We Can Fit It In

EU invites Iran to nuclear talks in mid-November. Iran responds "Maybe same time next year."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Ahmadinejad Taunts Israel

Ahmadinejad taunts Israel from border with Lebanon by eating milk and meat at the same time!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Miners Private Lives

With rescue, miners' private lives, miners come to light. "I figured if the thing fell, I would see a tunnel of light either way", says one.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Hitler Exhibition

Berlin exhibition views Hitler's hold on Germans but have a hard time getting the crowd to move on.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Siesta Fiesta

Ready, set, snore! Spain holds siesta contest. Police keep a close watch out for terrorists with alarm clocks.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Angela Jolie refused to film in Bosnia, she's not muslim!

Angie & Brad are rather upset because Angie couldn't direct her latest epic in Bosnia, she refused to wear a Burka and it was against her religion!

written by Jaggedone, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Death Grants Stopped

Death Grants for those in poverty to arrange funerals are to end. 'I don't want to be callous' said George Osborne 'but you can fling corpses into the sea for the fish. You know how hungry they are.'

written by j.w., 14 October 2010
Rating:

Old Told to Stop Moving

Anyone over 65 will no longer get free bus travel or winter heating allowance. 'Stop moving around' said Minister for Poverty Inane Duncan-Smith 'you only tire yourselves out. Go to bed to keep warm.'

written by j.w., 14 October 2010
Rating:

Early Nights for Police

Police economy measures will end night time coverage. 'We are strictly 9 - 5 now' said Chief Constable Pratt 'most crime takes place at night so we will save on pay and have fewer court appearances.'

written by j.w., 14 October 2010
Rating:

Commonwealth Games Shock

The Commonwealth Games ended with England ousted by India for 2nd place in the medal league. 'After all the curry I've eaten' said a sad athlete 'I expected to win my heat with the wind behind me.'

written by j.w., 14 October 2010
Rating:

Con Trick

In an amazing experiment Convicts (Cons) are to replace Conservatives (Cons) in a bizarre switch. The test is - will anybody notice? 'I can't tell one Con from another' said housewife Constant Kray.

written by j.w., 14 October 2010
Rating:

Brett Favre, 2010: Throwing Picks, Sexting D--ks.

New headlines created for Brett Favre, 2010: Throwing Picks, Sexting D--ks.

written by anthonyrosania, 14 October 2010
Rating:

All Whites Look, Act Alike!

S Dakota: Dems give free food, fire water and rides to polls for votes on Indian reservations.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Miner Saw Elvis Down In Mine

Rescued Chilean miner Edison Peña, a big Elvis fan, gets free invitation to Graceland. Claims he saw Elvis down in the mine. "He was singing that song..'caught in a trap'.."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

A League Of Their Own

Former cop who underwent sex change operation 5 years ago sues LPGA over ban on transgender players. LPGA says they should form their own league.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

After Ten Years

Homeland Security, Defense Department to work together for the first time against cybersecurity threats.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Last Man Out In Chile #2

Jubilation anew in Chile as last of 6 rescuers of 33 trapped miners reaches surface."Ground Hog Day!", he laughs!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

False Alarm!

FAA air traffic control facility in New York evacuated for short time due to possible gas leak, find out there was a party at Taco Bell last night - back at work now!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Last Man Out In Chile

Jubilation anew in Chile as last of 6 rescuers of 33 trapped miners reaches surface. "I'm a rotten egg", says last man out.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Could Be Worse!

New finding: Lenders seized more homes this summer than in any quarter since housing bust began in 2006. "It would be even worse if recession wasn't over in 2009."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Taliban Wants Peace?

The Taliban is ready to talk peace, says former Afghan president who heads new peace council. Plays video of Taliban singing 'John Lemon' song.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

West Hording All The Good Stuff!

Iranian president Ahmadinejad accuses West of 'stopping other countries getting peaceful nuclear weap.....technology!'

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Don't Go There

European terror plot still active and travel alert remains, U.S. counterterrorism official says. So why not vacation here in the US?

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Not A Lot Happening Lately

Paula weakens to tropical storm over Cuba according to the National Hurricane Center. The Weather Channel asks for bailout!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rwanda Democracy Working!

Police arrest Rwanda's most prominent opposition leader, accuse her of forming terrorist organization, the Political Opponent Gang!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Obamacare, What Happened?

Obama admin to allow insurers to raise premiums for sick children.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Students Join French Protest Against Something!

French students up national protests over retirement reform, whatever!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Silver Lining!

Dollar hits fresh 15-year-low against yen. Toyota Camry now sells for $50,000.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

But It's True

Grandma's ashes mistakenly sold at yard sale! Scopes: Yeah, we heard that one before.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Reid, Angle To The Front

Reid, Angle to square off. ('She bringing her wings?' 'That's Angle, not Angel, Senator Reid.'...'Oh!'

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

The O'Donnell-Coons Stage Show

O'Donnell, Coons stage feisty debate...'There are more people who support my Catholic faith than his Marxist beliefs'..'You little B....!"

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Flush #1, Flush #2, Flush In November #3

'Dual flush' toilets among conservation proposals OK'd by Council. Low flush for #1, high water flush for #2. Claim liberals don't give a shit.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Taunt! Taunt!

TAUNT: Ahmadinejad heads to border with Israel...drops his pants...shot in the ass!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Queen Cancels Xmas Party For 600 Household Staff.

Official line says this is due to cuts. But insider says: "They've all been very naughty boys and girls and don't deserve a party."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 14 October 2010
Rating:

"You Can Have It, Joe!"

Vice President Joe Biden says President Obama has asked him to run again in 2012. Hillary stuck on sidelines, running for President?

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Applications Fill One Room

Applications for jobless benefits rise to 4,620,000...a little more than expected.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Plus The Side Effects

Food & Drug Agency warns of fractures with use of fracture-preventing drugs!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Hispanics Outlives Whites, Blacks

In US, Hispanics outlive whites, blacks by years. Most likely reason is that most coming here had to be in good shape to make it.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Prefer Natural Burials

More Americans choosing natural burials according polls of undertakers, Mafia hit men.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

New Dam Bridge Opening

Hoover Dam bypass bridge over the Beaver Dam set to open next week. Good luck.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Obama Challenges Pro-Gay Rulings

Why Obama Is Challenging the Courts' Pro-Gay Rulings? "The more of these Dem Senators & Congressmen I can get rid of, the more I can blame them for the first two years."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Buried In The Woods?

More Americans choosing natural burials, natural deaths.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Accidental Petro CEO To Step Down

Accidental Petroleum CEO to step down (probably on banana peel.) I'm sorry, that should be "Occidental".

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Radical Burials?

More Americans choosing natural burials. Several now choosing to be buried in the woods, etc. New wild idea catching on!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Humpback Sets Speed Record

Humpback whale beats long-distance record. Signs for new Disney Movie "Henry The Hurrying Humpback".

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rescued Chile Miners face celebrity status!

Plans already away to put out Christmas album of old favorites sung in C Miner.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Dollar Down Deliberately?

U.S. is currency war's "tomb maker": China economist. "Lowering dollar to quarter will allow them to sell more products abroad, draw in tourists."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Blind To Lead Blind Out Of Ditch

Report criticizes TARP contracts to Fannie and Freddie for managing Wall Street troubles.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rescued Miners Are Celebrities #4

Miley Cyrus video shows her grinding her butt into crotch of rescheduled Miner!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rescued Miners Are Celebrities #3

Rescued Chile Miner to have 'minor' role in Twilight!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rescued Miners Are Celebrities#2

The Daily Blabbermouth: "Rescued Miner seen at night club with Lady Gaga!"

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rescued Miners Are Celebrities

Rescued Chile miners recover, face celebrity status as over 500 ghost-writers are in Chile this week.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Unless They Are Given Back

September home foreclosures top 100,000 for first time. Expect over 120,000 in October.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Like Wearing Your Wife's Panties

New Poll shows that nearly half of US citizens who wear complete head-to-toe veils are men.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Followed By: Thinking Thoughts Week In May

President Obama will request a Promoting Awareness Week in February next year. The President wants everyone to be aware of promotions.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Top Biker Skip Tour De France

3-time winner Contador to skip Tour presentation. Four other previous winners won't compete after failing drug tests.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Best Whistling On A Ballad Award Added

Academy says no big change for 2012 Oscar date despite being on the same night as Country Music presents one of it's 24 different annual award nights.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Military Not The Only Ones Confused

Airlines oppose law increasing pilot flight hours. "They just voted to REDUCE flying hours for safety. Many will earn the same while sitting in airport bar as when flying."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Losing It!

With so much campaigning going on, confused Nancy Pelosi asks that candidates quit running in the House!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

House Races!

Black voters may sway 20 House races in Nov. vote. Many wonder how that will turn out...for about 5 minutes.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Military Left In Confusion Here Also

Pentagon in limbo on gays-military court order. Order "Shit Or Go Blind" resolution.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Nobel Honoring Criminals?

China says backers of Nobel winner support crime by awarding it to man in prison. "It's a joke anyway. Look who they gave it to last year."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Shot The Wrong Guy! Send Family A Million!

AP Investigation: Nearly $1B in NYC police payouts as policemen buy their way out of serving time for mistakes, using City funds.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Whale Credits Oil Slick

Humpback whale beats long-distance record. Claims oil slick counting made him slip through the water faster.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Obama Hurting Poorest Citizens

Food prices at two year high. This is during the same two years that social security gets no raise. So Mr. President, there go your Holiday shoppers.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Rollbacks Rolled Back

Walmart Rolls Back Rollbacks: Food Prices at Two-Year High. Liquor store consumers report the same thing, only higher.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Picture This!

"This is your stomach after a home cooked meal! THIS is a picture of your stomach after eating a McDonald's Happy Meal six months ago!

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

McDonalds Complains

McDonald's Happy Meal resists decomposition for six months and a week now. Owner may place it on it's own website so we can watch for any changes.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Banking Foreclosures Clear As Mud

Banks seize 288K homes in Q3, but challenges await. "We're only moving to a near-by motel", says one husband. "As we may gey to move back in."

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Breaking With Handshakes

O'Donnell, Coons square of in feisty Senate debate, beginning with a quick face slap.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Mine's Future In Question

As Chile celebrates, mine's future in question. Yes, amid all the celebrations, everyone forgets the little mine.

written by Bureau, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Dyslexic priest...

... rushes to comfort miners at shaft head.

written by matthatt, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Swiss Upset to Discover Their Cheese is Full of Holes!

Many Swiss have begun to complain about the holes in Swiss cheese. "Its a rip-off to consumer" say's Olaf Svenson, "Just look at how much more you get with Cheddar, its solid!"

written by Jean Le Fete, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Chilean Miners Headed to David Letterman Show

All 33 Chilean miners are headed to New York to appear on David Letterman. "I thought I could have them do a Top 33 Countdown, "Things that Suck About Being Trapped in a Mine", says Letterman.

written by Jean Le Fete, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Chile Mine Rescue - 'Expert Talks Total Nonsense'

Nothing new there then for Sky News

written by Skoob1999, 14 October 2010
Rating:

Barack Obama Feeling Lonely at Democrat Rallies

"The only ones excited to see me," bemoans Obama, "Are the kids hoping our group throws candy. I wouldn't be surprised if the candidates are hiding from me on purpose."

written by Jean Le Fete, 14 October 2010
Rating:

The two remaining trapped miners in Chile have refused to come out.


The two miners stated it took them years to come out of the closet, now that they have and have found each other, they don't want to come out of the cave.

written by truybill, 14 October 2010
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