There were 2,497 spoof news snippets published in October 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs

Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs
Xerox Reveals Plans To Cut 2,500 Jobs

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 25 October 2010
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Pentagon readies response to leak

Anyone know a good plumber?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 October 2010
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Shoplifters Cost UK Retailers £4 billion

"We can't afford to pay them anymore. Nope. It's tough, but they're gonna have to go," said retail spokesman.

"We are in talks with their union."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 October 2010
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US Budget Deficit Falls To $1.3 Trillion

Drinks on the house!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 October 2010
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More Water Found On The Moon

Who left the tap running?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 25 October 2010
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Banks Warned Over Self-Indulgent Bonuses

"Nah, you wouldn't want me to 'ave to send ve boyz rahnd, would yer?" Warns Vince.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 26 October 2010
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Goverment Borrowing At Record High

Neighbour demanding return of lawnmower and barbecue. And where's my West Wing DVD set?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 21 October 2010
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Salted peanuts

Nature's marvel.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 15 October 2010
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Biodiversity Talks Hit Problems

Lions refuse to meet wildebeest hunting limit demands ... krill boycott whales summit.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
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Clegg On The Offensive Over Cuts

"F*** you m***er***ing C***s... you're all $"***ing *&&^^*S!!! What a bunch a f***** m********* *&%%55!!! Why don't you all just ^&$££"" %^^&((? Thank you.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
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UK Recovery "Faster Than Expected."

Yup - missed it!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 26 October 2010
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Lousiana state court jury fines pharma co over misleading claims about antipsychotic drug

Said spokesman: "Kill! I kill you! I kill you all! I kill your families!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 16 October 2010
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Commonwealth Games: Pool Blamed For Delhi Illness

"We told them: 'Don't drink the water.' But did they listen? Nooooooo!" said a Games spokesman.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 08 October 2010
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Queen Cancels Xmas Party For 600 Household Staff.

Official line says this is due to cuts. But insider says: "They've all been very naughty boys and girls and don't deserve a party."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 14 October 2010
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Hedge Fund Boost of $120bn

Neighbours fear loss of natural light.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 October 2010
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Boehringer Ingelheim Stops Development Of Sex Drive Pill

"Got a headache," said a spokesman.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 October 2010
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So Farewell, Bob Guccione

I used to read one of your magazines, Omni, for the sci-fi.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 21 October 2010
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Charity Warns Over Child Drinkers

"They'd as soon give you a smack in the mouth as give you 50p!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
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BT Asks Public Where To Install High Speed Broadband.

But you can't have it. Nor you over there. Nope - not you... don't be daft, you certainly can't have it...

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 October 2010
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UK Nuclear Sub Grounded

"And you're not getting out of this house again until you think about what you did and apologise!" said mum.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 22 October 2010
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Pompey Celebrations Over Match-Free Weekend

Portsmouth FC "superfan" Jake Seaport was dancing round Fratton Park, Saturday, celebrating a defeat-free weekend for Pompey due to the international break.

"Going up, going up, going up!" He sang.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 October 2010
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Fresh BBC Strikes Announced

"Yeah, the old ones were getting a bit stale," says union spokesman.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 28 October 2010
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Six Water Companies Miss Leak Targets

Due to spelling error: have been growing sprouts, cabbages, beans and peas.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 28 October 2010
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Blue Plaque For Lennon-Ono Home

Dentists completely baffled.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
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Liverpool's New Buyer - What's All The Fuss Says Seaport

Pompey superfan Jake Seaport says: "Can't understand why he went to all that trouble to buy Liverpool! Come on mate - we need an owner. Pompey's better than them scousers!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 16 October 2010
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Thought For The Day:

Man, I'm looking forward to the weekend!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 October 2010
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New EC Austerity Measures - 4

Ireland! Don't make me come up there! Sort those taxes at once!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 October 2010
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Pompey Unbeaten In Five After Win At Millwall

Said superfan Jake Seaport: "I can't... It's.... What the f...? I mean... C'mon Yew Blews!!!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 October 2010
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Thought For The Day:

Hmmm. Wonder what's for dinner.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 15 October 2010
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Rio Tinto/BHP Billiton plans to merge Oz iron ore ops face collapse,

They just don't dig it, after all, it seems.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 October 2010
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Oxford Warns Of Fees Funding Gap

"We suggested Next or River Island, but if we don't sort it soon, it'll be bloody Gap Kids and Baby Gap," said source.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 28 October 2010
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Edinburgh Boffins Develop Drug To Ward Off Memory Loss

"I'll show it to you. Hang On. I had it here, not five minutes ago. Where did I put it? Oh, bugger! Just let me think... I went over there... then what did I do?"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 13 October 2010
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Strauss Warns England To Be Ready For War

"To secure peace is to prepare for cricket," he said.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 29 October 2010
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G20 Summit Agrees IMF Reforms

Irish Mouse Feelers say: "What's it got to do with you? Bugger off!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
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Vatican Bank Officials Quizzed

Said magistrate: "They were good on religion and some science and nature questions, but films and music let them down."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 October 2010
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Daily Express Publisher's Profits Down 78 Per Cent.

"We've been losing too many readers. It's the Express readers' exploding head syndrome, I guess," said a group spokesman.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 October 2010
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New EC Austerity Measures - 2

Portugal says: "How come Ireland gets to play Playstation? It's just not fair! I hate you!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 October 2010
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Consultancy Firms To Hire Thousands Despite Govt Cuts

Said Toilet & Douche spokesman; "Ha ha ha! Great, innit? We're getting money, you are not.."

Added KMGP insider: "Have a cigar, dude!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 October 2010
Rating:

Northern Foods To Cut 500 Jobs

Said Union official: "Bastards! Bet Southern Foods aren't slashing jobs! It's regionalism - north vs south - all over."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 October 2010
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IMF Fails To Solve Currency Disputes

"I've done all I can and I'm bloody exhausted. One word from me and they do as they like.

"You talk to them. They want their heads knocking together if you ask me."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 October 2010
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UK trade deficit narrows slightly.

"Does my bum look big in this now?"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 13 October 2010
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New EC Austerity Measures - 3

Ireland reacts to EC tax rate criticism: "No fair! Why are you always picking on me? Belgium did it too!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 October 2010
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US Consumer Spending Up 4 per cent.

Set to fall again after Ellis Ian and Mrs Fields returned to UK last week after stateside holiday.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 October 2010
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Cameron Declares Victory On Budget Cap

"Brilliant! Ace! Two quid from Shepherd's Bush market!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 October 2010
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Flasher Bitten By Victim's Dog.

On the arm. On the arm? Stupid dog. Get it trained properly!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 October 2010
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Australia Faces Locust Plague of "Biblical Proportions."

"Let my people go!" says Ozzie Jewish leader

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 October 2010
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Soliel Moon Frye Dresses as Punky Brewster For Twitter Fans...

Soliel Moon Frye Dresses as Punky Brewster For Twitter Fans, One Million fanboys Ejaculate Simultaneously. (Google it.)

written by anthonyrosania, 06 October 2010
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Prequel to The Social Network; "Myspace: We Hardly Knew Ye" Released Today.

Hollywood, CA--- The prequel to The Social Network; "Myspace: We Hardly Knew Ye" Released Today.

written by anthonyrosania, 03 October 2010
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You Cannot Say You Weren't Warned!

'Navy Cuts' were all the rage in the 1940s - especially Capstan full strength. Now the government wants to make them popular again this Year

written by IN SEINE, 19 October 2010
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QB Michael Vick says on a radio show that he will miss 1-2 weeks of action...

QB Michael Vick says on a radio show that he will miss 1-2 weeks of action. Pencil in losses to San Francisco and Atlanta.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 October 2010
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Retained Fireman Burns Down Office Block

He turned a small waste bin fire into a roaring blaze, saying "I fought fire with fire, but it didn't work!"

written by Nick Hobbs, 21 October 2010
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Lemons Demonstrate As They Are Voted U.K's Least Favourite Fruit

Nations favourite, Banana's, say "they're just bitter."

written by Nick Hobbs, 19 October 2010
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NASA Tests Lunar Rover in Arizona

In a repeat of the 1968 film footage of the Lunar Rover, NASA has are conducting tests in the Arizona desert just in case they get to the moon this time!
Shades of Capricorn one.

written by IN SEINE, 15 October 2010
Rating:

Oksana Grigorieva Self-incriminates. Moron.

Oksana Grigorieva said in court today, "I am not an extortionist, I was just trying to gain property or money by force, or threat of harm to reputation and... What? That is extortion.? Sh-t."

written by anthonyrosania, 22 October 2010
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Pentagon Brush off Wikileaks Files on Iraq

The Pentagon have braced themselves for the release of 400,000 files on Iraq. They say that it is only 1% of the total in existence. Wikileaks is the 21st century version of the Watergate scandal.

written by IN SEINE, 18 October 2010
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Church Of Jedi Wages War On The Spoof

May The Farce Be With Us.

written by Nick Hobbs, 26 October 2010
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Hurricane Richard Made Landfall In Belize, Was Overcharged For his Hotel Room, Hated the Food...

Hurricane Richard Made Landfall In Belize, Was Overcharged For his Hotel Room, Hated the Food, Thought the Nighlife Sucked, Left.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 October 2010
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Hot off the Press

The wife of The trapped Chilean miner, Pablo Ramirez is set to be the first to have a book published before they have even been rescued. The book, called "Mine Camp" tells of her struggle in the Atacama Desert.

written by IN SEINE, 12 October 2010
Rating:

Agatha Christie's Signature Found on Back of Dirty Van

Graphologists have discovered the signature of Agatha Christie on a dirty white van in Cheltenham today. They believe that it is the work of a Grimewriter.

written by IN SEINE, 20 October 2010
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Madden 11 Available Today: In other news, all of the men in your office with a PS3 are sick.

Madden 11 Available Today: In other news, all of the men in your office with a PS3 are sick.

written by anthonyrosania, 12 October 2010
Rating:

Submarine to Be Renamed

The Royal Navy is to rename its £1.2 billion nuclear submarine, HMS Astute to HMS Myopia after it collided with a sand bank near the Isle of Skye today.

written by IN SEINE, 23 October 2010
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Copycat Crime

First it was a pussy that was thrown in a wheelie bin, now someone's cock has been thrown in one. The two incidents are not connected.

written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2010
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Cheri Blair Starts War with Italy

Sylviano Berlusconi is reported to be enraged as Cheri Blair must hold one of the watches he gave her as a present on eBay.

written by IN SEINE, 27 October 2010
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Brett Favre, 2010: Throwing Picks, Sexting D--ks.

New headlines created for Brett Favre, 2010: Throwing Picks, Sexting D--ks.

written by anthonyrosania, 14 October 2010
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Cheryl Cole And Simon Cowell Not Seeing Eye To Eye

Because she's 5'3" and he's 5'5" Sinitta doesn't give a shit either way.

written by Skoob1999, 08 October 2010
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Bacon is the new Apple...

Scientists have always suggested that 'an apple a day kept the doctor away.' But since most of the doctors are now Muslim, it has been found that a bacon sandwich works best!

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2010
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Minor Rescued from Bowl of Chili

A three-year-old boy had to be rescued from a bowl of chili in a Mexican restaurant in Wolverhampton today. The minor suffered minor burns.

written by IN SEINE, 15 October 2010
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Japanese Invent Fast Camera

Japanese scientists have now created a digital camera with such a fast speed that it's now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.

written by IN SEINE, 15 October 2010
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A New Commonwealth Games Stroke

12 British swimmers took part in what is called "The NEW Delhi Belly Flop"

written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2010
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Spoofwriter is convinced that Mark Lowton is spitting image

An unnamed Spoofwriter is convinced that Mark Lowton is Formula One racing driver, Sebastian Vettel. Upon telephoning TheSpoof Office this morning there was no answer. Makes you think doesn't it?

written by IN SEINE, 23 October 2010
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Harriet Harman Targets Wrong Ginger Rodent

Harriet Harmon says she meant to say; "but there is one ginger rodent which we never want to see in the Highlands again - Niel Kinnock."

written by IN SEINE, 30 October 2010
Rating:

Obama Has Had Book Thrown at Him

Barack Obama has had "the" book thrown at him during a rally in Philadelphia. "The" book was Tony Blair's autobiography which weighed about 30lb was thrown by a protester shouting "plagiarist!"

written by IN SEINE, 12 October 2010
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Man Eats Cock In Busy Restaurant

"We ran out of hens breasts," says KFC manager, "all we had left were two cocks and a broiler!"

written by Nick Hobbs, 20 October 2010
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Paul, The Psychic Octopus Dies

One source reports that the Vatican are said to keeping a phial of his ink just in case he is made a Saint. Another source says..."B..b..but they've already got one St. Paul!"

written by IN SEINE, 26 October 2010
Rating:

Lady Gaga Sits on Yoko Ono

Correction. A major story reported that Lady Gaga apparently had the opportunity to sit on Yoko Ono this weekend, when in fact the quote should have been "I got to sit in on Yoko Ono." Sorry.

written by Charpa93, 04 October 2010
Rating:

Pundits Argue over Schultz' and Beck's Size

Political pundits from both sides of the arena are arguing which rally in Washington got the prize for size. Remember, it's not the size that counts, it's the message.

written by Charpa93, 04 October 2010
Rating:

The BBC Have Issued a Terror Warning

The BBC have issued a terror warning today just in case Russell Brand appears. They also add that there is also a severe threat of Jonathan Ross in the shadows.

written by IN SEINE, 04 October 2010
Rating:

Statue of Liberty Captured!

A photographer captured the moment when lightning struck the Statue of Liberty. "Is it a sign from God?" he said.

written by IN SEINE, 12 October 2010
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Leading Journalist Claims That Thespoof.com Is Better Than Wikileeks

A leading journalist who cannot be named, claims that Thespoof.com is far more reliable and true than Wikileeks.

written by IN SEINE, 23 October 2010
Rating:

Watch out Obama!

Al Qaeda have published a book on tips "How to Kill Americans". President Barrack Obama IS an American - isn't he? I can't wait for their next book - "The Al Qaeda Big Book Of Rocket Science"

written by IN SEINE, 13 October 2010
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He Just Didn't See It Coming!

Paul, the Psychic octopus has finally kicked the bucket! Apparently he died of natural causes. Many conspiracy theories think otherwise. Some say Al Qaeda are to blame.

written by IN SEINE, 26 October 2010
Rating:

In Milton Keynes Today...

At a branch of Lloyds TSB, a 40-year-old man collapsed and was taken to hospital. Paramedics believe that the man was suffering from an inner ear infection; "he just went into a bank and lost his balance!" they said.

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2010
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Louis Walsh: "Mr Lee Was A Right Mug For Taking My Advice!"

Latest X-Factor argument is just a Storm in a teacup, say pundits.

written by Nick Hobbs, 19 October 2010
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Local Man Gets Rid Of Bloodhound

Says every time it bites him it draws blood...

written by Skoob1999, 05 October 2010
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Jimmy Sanchez to Be Put in Detention Indefinitely

Jimmy Sanchez, one of the Chilean miners is to go into detention indefinitely because he has not attended college for over three months!

POOR KID

written by IN SEINE, 13 October 2010
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UK Adopts American Food Labelling

The UK government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, "no fat", "low fat", "reduced fat " and "fat, but with a great personality."

written by IN SEINE, 31 October 2010
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Print workers boycot script in boldcase

Boldcase association fights back

written by churchmouse, 01 October 2010
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Panorama Reported Fears Of Mine Collapse Before Accident.

"Bit fuckin' late now!" says Chilean President.

written by Nick Hobbs, 19 October 2010
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X-Factor's Rebecca Ferguson Denies Anal Bleaching Allegations

"I'm a black woman" she told pals. "What would be the point of that?"

written by Skoob1999, 19 October 2010
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Who's Fooling Who?

Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood has said that his painting & music-making has improved since he gave up drinking. Let's face it, they were really bad. However, he probably still likes the occasional joint!

written by IN SEINE, 03 October 2010
Rating:

Police Chief Warns of Increase in Cyber Crime

A police chief in the UK warned of an increase in cyber crime. Even as he spoke, someone stole his laptop from his office; "What did I tell you?" he said.

written by IN SEINE, 03 October 2010
Rating:

Osborne Sends Clear Message To Electorate

Blame yourselves. You voted for us. Ha!

written by Skoob1999, 20 October 2010
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X-Factor - Storm Says We Haven't Seen The Best Of Him

Most people don't want to. He can keep it. Knobhead.

written by Skoob1999, 18 October 2010
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Local man still waiting for safe release of Chilean miners.

Seaton Carew, apparently used to waiting. Says it isn't a problem.

written by Skoob1999, 13 October 2010
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Rooney Message To United Squad Ahead Of CL Tie - "I'm Missing You."

Correction:- "I'm dissing you."

written by Skoob1999, 20 October 2010
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Sir Alex To Put Rooney Situation To Bed.

Seems all he needs is a piss pot.

written by Skoob1999, 20 October 2010
Rating:

United Fans Stick By Rooney

John from Wythenshaw and Eric and Ernie from Eccles pledge alleigance. The rest tell him to sod off.

written by Skoob1999, 20 October 2010
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Bad Headline Number 70

Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan.

written by IN SEINE, 31 October 2010
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'Ain't No Mountain Higher!'

Denise Van Outen has discovered 1.5 kg of cocaine in the Andes village of Machu Picchu. It is estimated that the value of the drug could be as much as £100,000 pounds. NOW THAT IS HIGH!

written by IN SEINE, 01 October 2010
Rating:

Manchester United FC Learn Valuable Lesson

Never put your faith in a Scouser.

written by Skoob1999, 20 October 2010
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