Funny story: Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...

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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney

Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney

They were once the scourge of many a Premier League defence whilst playing for Manchester United, but the careers of Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have taken different paths recently, with the Portuguese star saying he now feels sorry for the fo...

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Funny story: Rooney Gives Another Granny One (Autograph - Calm Down)

Rooney Gives Another Granny One (Autograph - Calm Down)

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney today freely admitted that he'd given yet another Granny one - an autograph that is. And this isn't the first time it's happened. Usually when people see the words 'Rooney' and 'Granny' together in a headline...

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Funny story: VAR To Help In Coleen Rooney - Rebekah Vardy Dispute

VAR To Help In Coleen Rooney - Rebekah Vardy Dispute

The wives of footballers, Wayne Rooney and Jamie Vardy, who were thought to be "close to agreement" after their recent falling-out on Instagram that caused a huge controversy in their own minds, have now asked for VAR assistance in their bid to sort...

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Funny story: Premier League to investigate Man United's 14-0 win at Sunderland

Premier League to investigate Man United's 14-0 win at Sunderland

The Premier League have promised a swift and concise investigation into Man United's record breaking win at Sunderland on Sunday which secured them the Premier Ship title on goal difference. The investigation was welcomed by Betfarce and other onl...

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Funny story: Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal

Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal

According to inside news leaked from Lou Macari's chippy, under fire United striker Wayne Rooney will be staying at Manchester United, but will be farmed out by the club on a twelve month loan deal until the dust settles. Most probably to Tranmere...

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Funny story: Frank Lampard Can't Kick a Ball Due to Sore Hand, "How Convenient" Says Gerrard.

Frank Lampard Can't Kick a Ball Due to Sore Hand, "How Convenient" Says Gerrard.

Frank Lampard, who hasn't scored a goal for England since 2005, is out of the England squad... due to a sore hand.

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Funny story: Cant Manage This

Cant Manage This

Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...

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Funny story: Rooney In United Stand-off

Rooney In United Stand-off

International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...

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Funny story: Steve McClaren Fired as England Boss; Gerrard, Rooney and Lampard Have Shared Dream.

Steve McClaren Fired as England Boss; Gerrard, Rooney and Lampard Have Shared Dream.

Steve McClaren has been fired from the England post and replaced with someone competent. This according to a freak dream shared by Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney and Frank Lampard.

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Funny story: Elizabeth Waynes

Elizabeth Waynes

Fans of Queen Elizabeth took to Twitter today to celebrate her overtaking Wayne Rooney's England scoring record. As she has been on the throne for 63 years and Rooney is only 30 it is clear who has wayned the longest. The national anthem has been...

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Funny story: Rooney To Join City In Shock Swap Deal For Tevez

Rooney To Join City In Shock Swap Deal For Tevez

Unsettled 'want out' spoilt brat Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney looks all set to join Manchester City in a straight swap deal for Carlos Tevez, according to our source, Nutty Norman from Ardwick Green. Speaking from a theme pub in town, Nu...

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Seven day catch up

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Funny story: Harry Redknapp accepts England job after Man United beat Tottenham Hotspur

Harry Redknapp accepts England job after Man United beat Tottenham Hotspur

Harry Redknapp performed a dramatic u-turn today, worthy of a cockney cab driver or posh Prime Minister, and accepted the England job even though the Football Association haven't offered it to him. Speaking at White Hart lane after Man United beat...

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Funny story: Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Today the BBC reported on England's accommodation in Brazil. The rooms that the players will be staying in feature couches and mattresses that are HIV positive, Behind the hotel is a favella that resonates enough gunfire to ensure that none of the p...

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Funny story: England Qualify For Euro 2012... Not Again, Says Long-Suffering Wife

England Qualify For Euro 2012... Not Again, Says Long-Suffering Wife

England, under Fabio Capello, qualified for the finals of Euro 2012 in Montenegro last night, despite 'talismanic' strike Wayne Rooney's dismissal after 73 minutes. The Manchester Utd Scouse hair transplant victim was sent off for kicking Dzudovic...

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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Texts Supportive Message To Wayne Rooney - Jesse James Asks: "Who The F*ck Is Wayne Rooney Anyway?"

Amy Winehouse Texts Supportive Message To Wayne Rooney - Jesse James Asks: "Who The F*ck Is Wayne Rooney Anyway?"

Reports coming in are suggesting that occasionally bedraggled diva, Amy Winehouse has sent a text message of support to Wayne Rooney as the Manchester United and England striker's troubles show no sign of abating. At this point, it isn't clear exa...

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Funny story: Florence Brudenell-Bruce not related to James Hewitt

Florence Brudenell-Bruce not related to James Hewitt

Prince Harry's latest girlfriend, Florence Brudenell-Bruce is related to every other person in England. Except James Hewitt. Research undertaken by Eric Nonce, a genealogist from Dorking, shows that she is descended from The Pikey-Scrotes, an a...

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Funny story: Miley Cyrus And Wayne Rooney Buy Some Socks

Miley Cyrus And Wayne Rooney Buy Some Socks

In totally unrelated transatlantic transactions, Skoob Entertainment News supremo (who grovelled like a whimpering puppy to keep his job) Buffty Ginslinger, has related that in an amazing coincidence, US teen idol Miley Cyrus and Manchester United st...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Applies For An Allotment

Wayne Rooney Applies For An Allotment

A leaked report from Cheshire County Council appears to indicate that the Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has put in a formal application for an allotment within reasonable walking distance of his Cheshire home. According to loc...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

78 year old former England, Milan, West Ham, Chelsea and Tottenham player has announced he is coming out of retirement. The east-ender, most famous for missing the 1966 world cup final, alcoholism problems and his tv programme with Ian St John, to...

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