Funny story - Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney

Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney

They were once the scourge of many a Premier League defence whilst playing for Manchester United, but the careers of Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have taken different paths recently, with the Portuguese star saying he now feels sorry for the fo...

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Funny story - Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...

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Funny story - Football Gossip: Bristol Rovers Bridesmaid, Wayne "Roos" Drink Arrest, Jordan Nobbs Offer, Dyche and The Spoof

Football Gossip: Bristol Rovers Bridesmaid, Wayne "Roos" Drink Arrest, Jordan Nobbs Offer, Dyche and The Spoof

New Bristol Rovers manager Graham Coughlan says taking on the job is an "extremely proud moment" after "10 years as a bridesmaid" in other roles. The 44-year-old was appointed as the League One side's new boss on a two-and-a-half-year deal on Sunday,...

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Funny story - Naked Wayne Rooney - Scare tactics

Naked Wayne Rooney - Scare tactics

Wayne Rooney is to be pictured on the Manchester United Web Site stark naked in an attempt to intimidate opposing teams it has been revealed.

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Funny story - Alex Ferguson Injured, Ruled Out For Season

Alex Ferguson Injured, Ruled Out For Season

In a very rare occurrence in professional sports, Manager Alex Ferguson, is the latest Manchester United man to succumb to injury.

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Funny story - Eric Cantona gives Wayne Rooney some helpful advice about the future

Eric Cantona gives Wayne Rooney some helpful advice about the future

Manchester United legend Eric Cantona has spoken about Wayne Rooney's decision to leave the Old Trafford club and has offered him some helpful advice as to his next move. 'If the tomato slips out of the cheese and tomato sandwich' said Cantona 'do...

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Funny story - Rafa moves quickly to dismiss Rooney rumour

Rafa moves quickly to dismiss Rooney rumour

Rafa Benitez moved quickly this morning to distance himself with the speculation surrounding a possible move for Salford FC star Wayne Rooney. The speculation seems to have originated in the Spanish media and moved over to England appearing in less w...

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Funny story - Oregon cat houses batten down the hatches at Rooney 'conditioning training' arrival

Oregon cat houses batten down the hatches at Rooney 'conditioning training' arrival

Nike Town, Oregon - (Offside Mess): It's Man U's equivalent of Coleen's recent Lourdes trip to pray for a nuptial miracle from the Virgin. And it will see wayward striker Wayne Rooney put through his paces in an aversion therapy week to restore a...

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Funny story - Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat

Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat

England players are today packing their suitcases and preparing to fly back home after the 4-2 penalty defeat to Italy last night. Ashley Cole and Ashley Young who both missed their crucial kicks, have already been offered a pizza advert, followin...

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Funny story - Capello tips Bent to batter bent Blatter

Capello tips Bent to batter bent Blatter

England manager Fabio Capello has ordered his players to let Switzerland "have some" in the Euro 2012 qualifier. Switzerland is famous for having spawned Sepp Blatter and for making cheese with holes in it. Capello is tipping in form striker Da...

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Funny story - Football Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012

Liverpool midfielder Jonjo Shelvey, 20, whose grandmother is from Edinburgh, has held talks with the SFA about potentially representing Scotland. (Sunday Mirror) "See you Jimmy, I mean Jonjo" England manager Roy Hodgson insists he will stick with veterans Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and John Terry. Lampard, 34, Gerrard, 32, and Terry, 31, will not be discarded as they enter their 30s. (Dai...

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Funny story - Wayne Rooney had sex with his laptop 2000 times

Wayne Rooney had sex with his laptop 2000 times

The latest revelations about Wayne Rooney's love life have rocked the PC World. Sources within the computer repair technical department have revealed that the Manchester United footballer has had his laptop repaired 2000 times this month. An...

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Funny story - Wayne Rooney Exclusive: It's Synchronised Swimming!

Wayne Rooney Exclusive: It's Synchronised Swimming!

We can exclusively reveal that it's not money or the attraction of another club that is pulling Wayne Rooney away from Manchester United. He wants to perform in Britain's synchronised swimming team at the 2012 Olympics in London! The shocking n...

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Funny story - Susan Boyle may put in a bid for Rooney to join her beloved 'Celtic'

Susan Boyle may put in a bid for Rooney to join her beloved 'Celtic'

It's rumoured that Susan Boyle may put in a bid to outbid Barcelona to get Rooney for her beloved 'Celtic'. True, she has not yet reached the 80 million plus, being offered by Barcelona but it is expected that her 2nd C.D. will bring in over 100 m...

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Funny story - Rooney Won't Sign New Deal - Can't Write Own Name

Rooney Won't Sign New Deal - Can't Write Own Name

Wayne Rooney looks set to leave Manchester United because he will not, or cannot, sign a new deal at the club. The England striker is not thought to be interested in a move away from Old Trafford, but is understood to be physically unable to write...

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Funny story - Carlos Tevez to appear alongside Rooney in Shrek 4

Carlos Tevez to appear alongside Rooney in Shrek 4

The Spoof can exclusively reveal that Manchester United ugly-git Carlos Tevez will appear alongside teammate Wayne "Shrek" Rooney in the forthcoming Shrek 4 movie.

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Funny story - UK investigative reporter discovers that male television couch potatoes have been replaced by a group of males known as 'humour site crosswriters.'

UK investigative reporter discovers that male television couch potatoes have been replaced by a group of males known as 'humour site crosswriters.'

Recent studies conducted by England's highly respected Jane Johnson Institute of Journalistic Gender Disorders located in Wolverhampton, West Midlands has discovered a new male dysfunction. This new affliction is unique for several reasons. First...

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Funny story - Wayne Rooney to Quit Football

Wayne Rooney to Quit Football

Sensational as it may seem, Phoenix Joe can exclusively report that Wayne Rooney (a footballer player) has announced his intentions to quit the erm, beautiful game and pursue an academic career after the World Cup. "Well, like I'm just erm ****in...

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Funny story - FA Wayne Rooney Appeal, "Give Wayne a FIVE match ban!"

FA Wayne Rooney Appeal, "Give Wayne a FIVE match ban!"

FA Headquarters, Wembley, LONDON: Following the shock decision to 'ave our main striker Wayne 'Roonstone' Rooney, banned for three matches after his alleged lashing out at opposition forces, The FA have been deliberating whether to appeal against th...

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Funny story - Cant Manage This

Cant Manage This

Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...

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