Wayne Rooney Spoof News

17 May 2022

Carlos Tevez to appear alongside Rooney in Shrek 4

The Spoof can exclusively reveal that Manchester United ugly-git Carlos Tevez will appear alongside teammate Wayne "Shrek" Rooney in the forthcoming Shrek 4 movie.

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Rooney's Nigerian Granny Shag-a-thon

Serial granny shagging, Football fat boy Wayne Rooney has been up to his old tricks again while in Nigeria. After returning to England, Wayne was said to have picked up a "stomach bug" from the local cuisine! But we can exclusively reveal it wa...

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Wayne Rooney reveals where they took the hair follicles from

Manchester United striker, Wayne Rooney, has finally come clean and admitted where they took the follicles from to implant in his head. For a hair implant like Rooney's the surgeons take hair from elsewhere on the body, and insert it into the scal...

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Wayne Rooney Solves Puzzle

Fantastic news just in from Old Trafford where superstar Wayne Rooney continued his mission to educate himself. Having learned to read in February, yesterday he completed a two - piece jigsaw puzzle for the first time. It started out quite harmles...

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Cant Manage This

Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...

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Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...

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Rooney Excels In Spelling Test

Gazza is Roo's DNA Pa say Salford slapper sources

Wayne Rooney Distraught As Chicharito Stubs His Toe In Ewood Celebrations

Wayne Marries In Italy

Usain Bolt signs for United and Rooney sprints the other way!

Rooney donates brain to medical science

Rooney And Cole Set For Hollywood Stardom

Wayne Rooney is going nowhere, says Colleen

Goodwillie Embarrassed By Rooney Comparison

Robert Mugabe surprise Best Man at Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin's Wedding

Rooney Baby A Chip Off The Old Block

Mr Potato Head to sue over Wayne Rooney slur

Manchester United Disqualified From Champions League, Roma Through to Semi's

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson, has dubbed the 7-1 thrashing of Roma at Old Trafford as 'The best night of European football we've had here" and few Man U fans would disagree. However, it seems UEFA is not amused.

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Rooney throws left hook at Phil Jones; United's only shot on target Monday evening!

Exclusive news has just seeped out of the very hot and steamy Man United dressing room after Monday's toothless performance against mayor rivals Man City. There was a definite "punch up" between trained boxer and United super-Scouse, Wayne Rooney,...

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Rooney's Wonder Strike

Wayne Rooney's wonder goal in the Manchester derby on Saturday has been voted the Greatest TV Moment in History, according to a survey of narrow minded, parochial U.K. residents. The overhead kick, which gave the Old Trafford side a late 2-1 victo...

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England win World cup!

After 48 years of misery, upsets, lousy performances and overpaid Rooney, England have just finished first in the World Cup! The news has just seeped through after a donkey ridden by a Himalayan Sherpa, his five children and wife rode into Kathman...

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Dream Team Set For Xmas No. 1 Spot

Forget the X-Factor or Take That as the possible Christmas number one this year as nasty bit of work, Simon Cowell, has hatched a plot to bag the coveted slot for his new signing.

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Wayne Rooney owing £4.5 million is just a typing error

Much to the relief of one of professional football's most overpaid actors, Wayne Rooney, the £4.5 million commission being sought by his former agency was all a mistake. Speaking with relief, having taken this week's salary in cash and it being a...

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Seven day catch up

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Coleen Rooney gives birth to small car

Coleen Rooney, wife of soccer legend Wayne Rooney, today gave birth to a healthy miniature Aston Martin Volante convertible after a difficult 24 hour confinement. The Aston, weighing in at around 8lbs, was reported to be a tasteful shade of sugar-...

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UK soccer gossip columns convinced Man United are signing 5000 new players!

Man United's new manager, Louis van Gaal, is signing 5000 new players according to the gossip columns in the UK tabloids. After United's demise last season every single newspaper is offering King Louis advice on who to buy and the list has reached...

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Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid

Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have pleaded with fans to stop reading transfer rumours.

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Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney stunned millions of television viewers by revealing he now has a vocabulary of four words. After completing his hat-trick in the 4-2 win over West Ham United at Upton Park, Rooney shouted the words 'Fucking w...

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Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson predicts England success

Master tactician Roy Hodgson, the new England manager, today confidentially predicted that England can go all the way and win Euro 2012 - and he even predicted the scores in the group and knockout stages. Hodgson spoke to us exclusively last nigh...

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Rooney Targets Vulnerable Fanni

Wayne Rooney is looking to exploit Fanni ahead of Manchester United's Champions League last 16, second leg tie with French club Marseille. Rooney was pleased with the joy he received when attacking Fanni in the channels during the first leg last eigh...

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Rooney's Regret at Snubbing Original Hair Follicles

Wayne Rooney has spoken for the first time about the emotional decision to effectively give up on his original hair follicles and have a hair transplant. Speaking to upmarket newspaper The Completely-Dependent, the Manchester United player admitte...

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Manchester United In 'For Sale' Shock

Manchester United fans are in shock today after reports from people living near their Old Trafford ground spoke of having seen 'For Sale' notices outside the stadium.

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