Rooney Breaks Football's Unwritten Rule
The truth behind the England team's disappointing summer World Cup capitulation can be revealed today as reports circulate that Wayne Rooney has been knobbing ex-captain John Terry's mum for months. The alleged affair was going on even before Terr...Read full story
Carlos Tevez to appear alongside Rooney in Shrek 4
The Spoof can exclusively reveal that Manchester United ugly-git Carlos Tevez will appear alongside teammate Wayne "Shrek" Rooney in the forthcoming Shrek 4 movie.Read full story
Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!
Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...Read full story
Coca Cola bosses ready to ditch Rooney from all advertising
Coca Cola bosses are reeling from the bad publicity surrounding Wayne Rooney and his now legendary threesomes with Manchester tarts. UK marketing boss, Les Rottenteeth, said "Coca Cola is a world leading brand and has many decades of proud histor...Read full story
Parody Week: Rooney Roo
And now, from the hit 60s TV programme Scooby Doo, Masterchev Entertainment presents: Rooney Roo. Rooney Rooney roo where are you? You've got a whore to do now. Rooney Rooney Roo, where are you? Pay up front and come now. come on Rooney Roo, old Man U needs you to start scoring goals, You don't have injuries that we can see, you're slower than Paul Scholes now. You know you've got a p...Read full story
Football Gossip: Bristol Rovers Bridesmaid, Wayne "Roos" Drink Arrest, Jordan Nobbs Offer, Dyche and The Spoof
New Bristol Rovers manager Graham Coughlan says taking on the job is an "extremely proud moment" after "10 years as a bridesmaid" in other roles. The 44-year-old was appointed as the League One side's new boss on a two-and-a-half-year deal on Sunday,...Read full story
Rooney donates brain to medical science
Wayne Rooney has astounded his friends, family, Sir Alex Ferguson and the scientific community. In a completely selfless act, Rooney has donated his brain for medical research. Rooney said "They gave me some forms to put me mark on, saying they co...Read full story
Wayne Rooney Suffers Choking Embarrassment
Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney is facing a night in hospital after choking on a dismantled Rubik's Cube at his Cheshire home. Speaking from outside the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA) in Warrington where Rooney is recu...Read full story
Rooney On Target For Inverness Caledonian Thistle
Och! There was a day of joyous celebration for little-fancied Scottish Premier League side Inverness Caledoian Thistle yesterday, as they romped to a 4-0 away victory over Dundee United, with Adam Rooney helping himself to a brace of lovely goals.Read full story
Shrek will have live actors
DreamWorks have announced a breakthrough deal that will see the first live action adaptation of the Shrek franchise.Read full story
Wayne Rooney Seen Yodelling Over Hooker 'Juicy Jeni' With Lonely Goatherd
Alarums at Lancaster Gate today as it was revealed that Wayne Rooney, England's star baldy nutted scouse striker was spotted yodelling about Bolton benefit scrounging hooker Jennifer Thompson to a lonely goatherd ahead of England's crucial Euro quali...Read full story
Looney Tune Rooney Traded to St Mary's a Bedlam of the Schizo Soccer league
Fabio Acapello, the only footballer and castrato singer in the world told Man UTD in a perfect soprano that Looney Rooney had got to go. Since his latest looney illustration against Fulham, the men in the white coats have been looking for an appropr...Read full story
Andy Coulson hacks into Wayne Rooney's phone - gets a big hard-on
Tory Party Director of Hacking allegedly (according to me) and one-time editor of the News of the World Andy Coulson admitted to a committee of MPs how he hacked into football Wayne Rooney's mobile phone, listened to his "love talk" with different wo...Read full story
Harry Redknapp accepts England job after Man United beat Tottenham Hotspur
Harry Redknapp performed a dramatic u-turn today, worthy of a cockney cab driver or posh Prime Minister, and accepted the England job even though the Football Association haven't offered it to him. Speaking at White Hart lane after Man United beat...Read full story
"Juicy Jeni" Scores Big Adult Sex Toy Endorsement From Arkansas Mail Order Company!
A spokesman for the marketing company representing Wayne Rooney's practice goalie, Jenny Thompson, announced today the industrious sex worker scored big outside of Rooney's bedroom with a 'high 6 figure endorsement contract with a major US mail orde...Read full story
10 Reasons Why England Were Actually Supposed To Beat Germany
1. Wayne Rooney is far more passionate than any German player, as shown by his 'plea' to fans for support after the Algeria game..."Nice to see your own fans booing you, that's what loyal support is, for f***'s sake." No German player would be passionate enough to do that.. 2. England's captain actually had the dignity to get injured after arriving in South Africa. Michael Ballack, take note...Read full story
Wayne Rooney found dumped in wheelie bin.
Soccer RAT Wayne Rooney was found dumped inside a council wheelie bin yesterday and the culprit has been caught in the act on CCTV Coleen Rooney, a local housewife stayed tight-lipped about the incident as she went shopping in Liverpool. The 2...Read full story
Iran Hangs Soccer WAG; Event Sends Tremors Through London Night Clubs!
The announcement today from Iran that they had publicly hung a soccer wag, the mistress of a former soccer star, has sent a tremor of terror and trepidation though the sports world, especially in the UK where the practice of being a 'temp' has beco...Read full story
Coleen 'Devastated' By Fresh Cheating Scandal!
Just when Coleen Rooney thought her week couldn't get any worse, it seems baby Kai has taken after his dad in more ways than one! The tiny tot has aledgedly 'cheated' on poor Coleen, by calling his nanny 'mummy'. The soon to be not Mrs Rooney i...Read full story