Carlos Tevez to appear alongside Rooney in Shrek 4
The Spoof can exclusively reveal that Manchester United ugly-git Carlos Tevez will appear alongside teammate Wayne "Shrek" Rooney in the forthcoming Shrek 4 movie.
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Rooney's Nigerian Granny Shag-a-thon
Serial granny shagging, Football fat boy Wayne Rooney has been up to his old tricks again while in Nigeria. After returning to England, Wayne was said to have picked up a "stomach bug" from the local cuisine! But we can exclusively reveal it wa...
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Wayne Rooney reveals where they took the hair follicles from
Manchester United striker, Wayne Rooney, has finally come clean and admitted where they took the follicles from to implant in his head. For a hair implant like Rooney's the surgeons take hair from elsewhere on the body, and insert it into the scal...
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Wayne Rooney Solves Puzzle
Fantastic news just in from Old Trafford where superstar Wayne Rooney continued his mission to educate himself. Having learned to read in February, yesterday he completed a two - piece jigsaw puzzle for the first time. It started out quite harmles...
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Cant Manage This
Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...
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Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!
Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...
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Rooney Excels In Spelling Test
Gazza is Roo's DNA Pa say Salford slapper sources
Wayne Rooney Distraught As Chicharito Stubs His Toe In Ewood Celebrations
Wayne Marries In Italy
Usain Bolt signs for United and Rooney sprints the other way!
Rooney donates brain to medical science
Rooney And Cole Set For Hollywood Stardom
Wayne Rooney is going nowhere, says Colleen
Goodwillie Embarrassed By Rooney Comparison
Robert Mugabe surprise Best Man at Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin's Wedding
Rooney Baby A Chip Off The Old Block
Mr Potato Head to sue over Wayne Rooney slur

Manchester United Disqualified From Champions League, Roma Through to Semi's
Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson, has dubbed the 7-1 thrashing of Roma at Old Trafford as 'The best night of European football we've had here" and few Man U fans would disagree. However, it seems UEFA is not amused.
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Rooney throws left hook at Phil Jones; United's only shot on target Monday evening!
Exclusive news has just seeped out of the very hot and steamy Man United dressing room after Monday's toothless performance against mayor rivals Man City. There was a definite "punch up" between trained boxer and United super-Scouse, Wayne Rooney,...
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Rooney's Wonder Strike
Wayne Rooney's wonder goal in the Manchester derby on Saturday has been voted the Greatest TV Moment in History, according to a survey of narrow minded, parochial U.K. residents. The overhead kick, which gave the Old Trafford side a late 2-1 victo...
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England win World cup!
After 48 years of misery, upsets, lousy performances and overpaid Rooney, England have just finished first in the World Cup! The news has just seeped through after a donkey ridden by a Himalayan Sherpa, his five children and wife rode into Kathman...
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Dream Team Set For Xmas No. 1 Spot
Forget the X-Factor or Take That as the possible Christmas number one this year as nasty bit of work, Simon Cowell, has hatched a plot to bag the coveted slot for his new signing.
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Wayne Rooney owing £4.5 million is just a typing error
Much to the relief of one of professional football's most overpaid actors, Wayne Rooney, the £4.5 million commission being sought by his former agency was all a mistake. Speaking with relief, having taken this week's salary in cash and it being a...
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Coleen Rooney gives birth to small car
Coleen Rooney, wife of soccer legend Wayne Rooney, today gave birth to a healthy miniature Aston Martin Volante convertible after a difficult 24 hour confinement. The Aston, weighing in at around 8lbs, was reported to be a tasteful shade of sugar-...
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UK soccer gossip columns convinced Man United are signing 5000 new players!
Man United's new manager, Louis van Gaal, is signing 5000 new players according to the gossip columns in the UK tabloids. After United's demise last season every single newspaper is offering King Louis advice on who to buy and the list has reached...
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Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney stunned millions of television viewers by revealing he now has a vocabulary of four words. After completing his hat-trick in the 4-2 win over West Ham United at Upton Park, Rooney shouted the words 'Fucking w...
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Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson predicts England success
Master tactician Roy Hodgson, the new England manager, today confidentially predicted that England can go all the way and win Euro 2012 - and he even predicted the scores in the group and knockout stages. Hodgson spoke to us exclusively last nigh...
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Rooney Targets Vulnerable Fanni
Wayne Rooney is looking to exploit Fanni ahead of Manchester United's Champions League last 16, second leg tie with French club Marseille. Rooney was pleased with the joy he received when attacking Fanni in the channels during the first leg last eigh...
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Rooney's Regret at Snubbing Original Hair Follicles
Wayne Rooney has spoken for the first time about the emotional decision to effectively give up on his original hair follicles and have a hair transplant. Speaking to upmarket newspaper The Completely-Dependent, the Manchester United player admitte...
Read full storyFunny Wayne Rooney Headlines
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Rooney reveals how Ronaldo got Sir Alex begging and kissing his "Magic Feet"
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Wayne Rooney Applies For An Allotment
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Me not culpa says Rooney
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HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything
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Miley Cyrus And Wayne Rooney Buy Some Socks
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FA Confident Over Rooney Ruling
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Full Outrageous Details of Wayne Rooney Contract Revealed
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Thousand of fans leaving Man. U. to support Man. City
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Dream role for Rooney
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Wayne Rooney Questioned About Joining Big Money Spending Russian Outfit, replies 'Who the f***ing hell are they?'
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Manchester United Fans Face Trouble In Rome
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Rooney for Newcastle
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Wayne Rooney given new words to use for dissent
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Rooney scores, proving removing whores' drawers reduces flaws
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Rooney second string hooker Helen Wood: curse of La Cervara hexed Wayne/Coleen nuptials
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Roo and Fergie in Love
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Wayne Rooney Has Brain Transplant
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Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt
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Rooney In United Stand-off
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VAR To Help In Coleen Rooney - Rebekah Vardy Dispute