Funny story - Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!

Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...

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Funny story - Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney

Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney

They were once the scourge of many a Premier League defence whilst playing for Manchester United, but the careers of Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have taken different paths recently, with the Portuguese star saying he now feels sorry for the fo...

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Funny story - Football Gossip: Bristol Rovers Bridesmaid, Wayne "Roos" Drink Arrest, Jordan Nobbs Offer, Dyche and The Spoof

Football Gossip: Bristol Rovers Bridesmaid, Wayne "Roos" Drink Arrest, Jordan Nobbs Offer, Dyche and The Spoof

New Bristol Rovers manager Graham Coughlan says taking on the job is an "extremely proud moment" after "10 years as a bridesmaid" in other roles. The 44-year-old was appointed as the League One side's new boss on a two-and-a-half-year deal on Sunday,...

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Funny story - "Peter Crouch, The Greatest I've Ever Seen" - Thierry Henry. Liverpool 4 - Arsenal 1.

"Peter Crouch, The Greatest I've Ever Seen" - Thierry Henry. Liverpool 4 - Arsenal 1.

After witnessing his side's defeat at the hands of Liverpool, Arsenal's Thierry Henry had an amazing statement for the press; "Peter Crouch is the greatest striker I've ever seen."...

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Funny story - Rooney Won't Sign New Deal - Can't Write Own Name

Rooney Won't Sign New Deal - Can't Write Own Name

Wayne Rooney looks set to leave Manchester United because he will not, or cannot, sign a new deal at the club. The England striker is not thought to be interested in a move away from Old Trafford, but is understood to be physically unable to write...

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Funny story - Spoof scandal rocks The Spoof, Rooney's ankle wins more points than R***y M****n coming out Spoofs!

Spoof scandal rocks The Spoof, Rooney's ankle wins more points than R***y M****n coming out Spoofs!

The latest scandal to rock the marble chambers of the majestic SPOOF MANSION has hit like a force 9 earthquake and the tsunami that followed. The subject of this scandal is Rooney's ankle scoring more points than all of the "GAY SPOOFING" regardin...

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Funny story - Rooney in U-Turn shock!

Rooney in U-Turn shock!

In an amazing U-turn - Wayne Rooney has decided to stay in Manchester for another five years. This just two days after the 24-year-old hitman claimed " the city's failure to attract world-class prostitutes to Old Trafford area prompted his dec...

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Funny story - Robert Mugabe surprise Best Man at Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin's Wedding

Robert Mugabe surprise Best Man at Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin's Wedding

The entire World awoke this morning in disbelief after learning that Robert Mugabe was yesterday the Best Man at Wayne and Coleen's Wedding which was held at the beautiful fortress of Villa Durazzo overlooking Santa Margherita on the Italian Rivi...

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Funny story - Wayne Marries In Italy

Wayne Marries In Italy

Football star Wayne Rooney got married in Italy to his childhood sweetheart, a plate of ravioli, at lunchtime today. The ceremony took place in the Ristorante Unapizza in Portofino, and the footballer's best man was a tube of cannelone, filled wi...

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Funny story - HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything

HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything

News that HMS Ark Royal is to be taken out of service, immediately, has sparked a furious row between the WAG's of UK based footballers. "It's what no one else can have and I want it" the wife of a famous Chelsea player told NMC News today. Sev...

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Funny story - Gazza is Roo's DNA Pa say Salford slapper sources

Gazza is Roo's DNA Pa say Salford slapper sources

Manchester - (Gonads): "Always thought there was something congenital about the two," the Salford Slappers Escort Agency commented today. The hooker bureau has claimed 57-times capped England midfielder Paul Gascoigne's own goal spawned Man U stri...

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Funny story - Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid

Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid

Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have pleaded with fans to stop reading transfer rumours.

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Funny story - Daily Mail readers get behind Rooney

Daily Mail readers get behind Rooney

In a surprise show of sympathy, the liberal-minded and forgiving readers of the Daily Mail have started an appeal to help Wayne Rooney redeem himself. The appeal has been started by readers in the West Sussex town of Burgess Hill. A local couple,...

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Funny story - Wayne Rooney Shags Own Grandma?

Wayne Rooney Shags Own Grandma?

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has crashed into the headlines once more this morning after it was revealed that the woman with whom he has been carrying on a passionate extra-marital affair was his very own grandma. Rooney, a 'vital cog' i...

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Funny story - Rooney second string hooker Helen Wood: curse of La Cervara hexed Wayne/Coleen nuptials

Rooney second string hooker Helen Wood: curse of La Cervara hexed Wayne/Coleen nuptials

Manchester - (Gonads): The slinky Salford slapper has blamed an ancient Roman curse for blighting Wayne and Coleen's nuptials. Helen Wood, 23, whose three-in-a-bed antics have rocked the nation, said today the 2008 La Cervara ceremony 'was hexed'...

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Funny story - Rooney's Nigerian Granny Shag-a-thon

Rooney's Nigerian Granny Shag-a-thon

Serial granny shagging, Football fat boy Wayne Rooney has been up to his old tricks again while in Nigeria. After returning to England, Wayne was said to have picked up a "stomach bug" from the local cuisine! But we can exclusively reveal it wa...

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Funny story - Sponsor depicts Rooney as a fat, bearded, loser slob and he fitted the role perfectly!

Sponsor depicts Rooney as a fat, bearded, loser slob and he fitted the role perfectly!

Multi-millionaire superstar, Wayne Rooney, was asked by his Sponsor, to go back to his roots in their latest advertising campaign, Rooney of course said yes (over his appearance fees, no comment!). The scenario is that Rooney slips over his laces...

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Funny story - Rooney cancels birthday bash

Rooney cancels birthday bash

Somewhat surprisingly, Wayne Rooney has cancelled his much publicised 90 grand birthday bash at the last minute. A close friend of Rooney said, "After the week's events, it turned out that the only people who still wanted to come were the Men In B...

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Funny story - Wayne Rooney IS worth 5 NHS Nurses annual salaries a week

Wayne Rooney IS worth 5 NHS Nurses annual salaries a week

A major report issued by some very influential people who know an awful lot about these things, has revealed that footballer Wayne Rooney is worth every penny of the salary he is paid, currently the equivalent in one week to the annual salary of 5 qu...

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Funny story - Manchester United Disqualified From Champions League, Roma Through to Semi's

Manchester United Disqualified From Champions League, Roma Through to Semi's

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson, has dubbed the 7-1 thrashing of Roma at Old Trafford as 'The best night of European football we've had here" and few Man U fans would disagree. However, it seems UEFA is not amused.

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