Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!
Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...
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Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney
They were once the scourge of many a Premier League defence whilst playing for Manchester United, but the careers of Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have taken different paths recently, with the Portuguese star saying he now feels sorry for the fo...
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Rooney Gives Another Granny One (Autograph - Calm Down)
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney today freely admitted that he'd given yet another Granny one - an autograph that is. And this isn't the first time it's happened. Usually when people see the words 'Rooney' and 'Granny' together in a headline...
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VAR To Help In Coleen Rooney - Rebekah Vardy Dispute
The wives of footballers, Wayne Rooney and Jamie Vardy, who were thought to be "close to agreement" after their recent falling-out on Instagram that caused a huge controversy in their own minds, have now asked for VAR assistance in their bid to sort...
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Premier League to investigate Man United's 14-0 win at Sunderland
The Premier League have promised a swift and concise investigation into Man United's record breaking win at Sunderland on Sunday which secured them the Premier Ship title on goal difference. The investigation was welcomed by Betfarce and other onl...
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Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal
According to inside news leaked from Lou Macari's chippy, under fire United striker Wayne Rooney will be staying at Manchester United, but will be farmed out by the club on a twelve month loan deal until the dust settles. Most probably to Tranmere...
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Wayne Rooney Fury Over Extortionate Champions League Final Ticket Prices
Rooney Reveals Spring Fashion Wig
Sponsor depicts Rooney as a fat, bearded, loser slob and he fitted the role perfectly!
Football Gossip: Bristol Rovers Bridesmaid, Wayne "Roos" Drink Arrest, Jordan Nobbs Offer, Dyche and The Spoof
Man Utd Trades Ryan Giggs to Tottenham Hotspur For Carlo Cudicini and Roman Pavlyuchenko
Rooney in U-Turn shock!
England win World cup!
Robin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!
Wayne Rooney Shags Own Grandma?
Rooney On Target For Inverness Caledonian Thistle
Cristiano Ronaldo Not 100% Gay
Love him or hate him you just can't get rid of him, Rooney!
Frank Lampard Can't Kick a Ball Due to Sore Hand, "How Convenient" Says Gerrard.
Frank Lampard, who hasn't scored a goal for England since 2005, is out of the England squad... due to a sore hand.
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Cant Manage This
Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...
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Rooney In United Stand-off
International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...
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Steve McClaren Fired as England Boss; Gerrard, Rooney and Lampard Have Shared Dream.
Steve McClaren has been fired from the England post and replaced with someone competent. This according to a freak dream shared by Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney and Frank Lampard.
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Elizabeth Waynes
Fans of Queen Elizabeth took to Twitter today to celebrate her overtaking Wayne Rooney's England scoring record. As she has been on the throne for 63 years and Rooney is only 30 it is clear who has wayned the longest. The national anthem has been...
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Rooney To Join City In Shock Swap Deal For Tevez
Unsettled 'want out' spoilt brat Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney looks all set to join Manchester City in a straight swap deal for Carlos Tevez, according to our source, Nutty Norman from Ardwick Green. Speaking from a theme pub in town, Nu...
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Harry Redknapp accepts England job after Man United beat Tottenham Hotspur
Harry Redknapp performed a dramatic u-turn today, worthy of a cockney cab driver or posh Prime Minister, and accepted the England job even though the Football Association haven't offered it to him. Speaking at White Hart lane after Man United beat...
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Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt
Today the BBC reported on England's accommodation in Brazil. The rooms that the players will be staying in feature couches and mattresses that are HIV positive, Behind the hotel is a favella that resonates enough gunfire to ensure that none of the p...
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England Qualify For Euro 2012... Not Again, Says Long-Suffering Wife
England, under Fabio Capello, qualified for the finals of Euro 2012 in Montenegro last night, despite 'talismanic' strike Wayne Rooney's dismissal after 73 minutes. The Manchester Utd Scouse hair transplant victim was sent off for kicking Dzudovic...
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Amy Winehouse Texts Supportive Message To Wayne Rooney - Jesse James Asks: "Who The F*ck Is Wayne Rooney Anyway?"
Reports coming in are suggesting that occasionally bedraggled diva, Amy Winehouse has sent a text message of support to Wayne Rooney as the Manchester United and England striker's troubles show no sign of abating. At this point, it isn't clear exa...
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Florence Brudenell-Bruce not related to James Hewitt
Prince Harry's latest girlfriend, Florence Brudenell-Bruce is related to every other person in England. Except James Hewitt. Research undertaken by Eric Nonce, a genealogist from Dorking, shows that she is descended from The Pikey-Scrotes, an a...
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Miley Cyrus And Wayne Rooney Buy Some Socks
In totally unrelated transatlantic transactions, Skoob Entertainment News supremo (who grovelled like a whimpering puppy to keep his job) Buffty Ginslinger, has related that in an amazing coincidence, US teen idol Miley Cyrus and Manchester United st...
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Wayne Rooney Applies For An Allotment
A leaked report from Cheshire County Council appears to indicate that the Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has put in a formal application for an allotment within reasonable walking distance of his Cheshire home. According to loc...
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Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement
78 year old former England, Milan, West Ham, Chelsea and Tottenham player has announced he is coming out of retirement. The east-ender, most famous for missing the 1966 world cup final, alcoholism problems and his tv programme with Ian St John, to...
Read full storyFunny Wayne Rooney Headlines
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Naked Wayne Rooney - Scare tactics
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England And The United States Tie 1-1 in World Cup Play - Queen Elizabeth Wants To Talk To Goalkeeper Robert Green #12
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Me not culpa says Rooney
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Roony defeats former KGB secret agent in £4.3 million swimsuit
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"Juicy Jeni" Scores Big Adult Sex Toy Endorsement From Arkansas Mail Order Company!
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Eric Cantona gives Wayne Rooney some helpful advice about the future
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Rooney Buys Manchester United
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God appears on Rooney's balding head?
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Halifax Town sign Wayne Rooney
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Adrian Chiles Is Wayne Rooney From The Future!
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Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
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Man U Rooney Kissed a Badger!
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Coleen Rooney Vows To Get Back Into A Size 10 Bikini Swimsuit With The Aid of A...Vibrating Bar
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Wayne Rooney joins Roman Polanski in Switzerland for degenerate bender
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Mr Potato Head to sue over Wayne Rooney slur
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Roo and Fergie in Love
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City Offer Rooney 200 Grans A Week
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Scots ban Rooney from entering Scotland, he forgot his passport!
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Thousand of fans leaving Man. U. to support Man. City
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Sir Alec Fergusface to write new book
