One a Blue, Always a [insert team colour here]. Rooney's on the Run

It seems his tenure at Old Trafford is finally coming to an end.

Following allegations that he had chatted to another woman via Facebook the other night, Sir Alex Ferguson commented how "he'd had his last chance. He's still up to his old ways and has to go."

Experts are already preparing a montage video to the theme tune of James Blunt's 'High' for when he will leave in January.

His destination? Surprise surprise, Manchester City or Chelsea do seem to be real options. Ancelotti begged Rooney to switch back to blue in a private text saying 'The night life in London is better'.

Another potential move is at Real Madrid, where he would ultimately experience Spanish Inquisition Flu: top star at Man Utd, flop star at the Bernabeu. David Beckham never did recover from it, whereas Ronaldo is starting to succumb.

Fans are expected to watch out for the usual signs, which include Rooney playing ballboy; tying up what little hair he has into a ponytail; a bootmark on his right ear and such a dodgy fake tan that you've been offered an ad working for Solcare.

If you see these folks, it's destiny.

Recent speculation was fuelled when Rooney started learning a language for the very first time, when he politely approached someone in Macdonalds and asked for a Big Mac and a Coke: in English.