Written by Nae mair crap

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

image for HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything
NO! that's tiny, I want a real boat

News that HMS Ark Royal is to be taken out of service, immediately, has sparked a furious row between the WAG's of UK based footballers.

"It's what no one else can have and I want it" the wife of a famous Chelsea player told NMC News today.

Several bids have already been made for the famous aircraft carrier as WAG's could not keep the secret and passed on the news of the latest must have accessory.

Arrabella Cholmondley - Mainwaring, our Special WAG confidante, reports that the WAG Network in Essex and Cheshire is rife with rumours. She has been reliably informed that leading the bidding is Victoria Beckham. Apparently, she has secured a mooring, on a private beach on, the Virgin Islands that she owns with her ex Spice Girl colleagues.

VB has been seen on Rodeo Drive and in Milan consulting Interior Decorators and securing overpriced settees as she collects for her unique personal yacht.

"It's perfect, runway and helipads for all my posh friends, they'll be green" she smiled, " and for my Haute Cauture fashion empire. After all, who else will have such a huge catwalk in the sun. There's loads of space for French and Italian designers and cutters. The bottom three decks, I can use for my Indian and Vietnamese workers. They can live on one deck, work on another and use the other deck for all their cooking and dining. Me and all my mates can live the high life once my Italian designers furnish all the other decks"

Asked whether David would be joining the crew, she sneered and offered a brief comment. "He's got the Captains room and control tower. That French guy, Jean Paul Gaultier made David a new Captain's hat and kilt so he's happy as a cochon en merde,"

VB, has however, angered the many WAG's chasing the Ark Royal. Diamond encrusted iPhones are being flung at beautifully decorated walls as they spout venom and jealousy.

"The bitch, I wanted it so much, to moor it off Liverpool and to keep an eye on him," screamed Colleen Rooney,"Wayne wanted to move there. I had such high hopes"

So, apparently, did Alex Ferguson.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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