Coleen Rooney Denies She's Pregnant, Says It's Just Two Too Many Crumpets

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 5 April 2010

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Coleen says that the rather large size of her belly is due to too many crumpets and not a baby.

LONDON - Coleen Rooney, one of Great Britain's more better known WAGs replied to a reporter that no she is not pregnant and that she only looks that way because she does love to eat.

Coleen went on to say that truth be told, the real reason is a simple case of just two too many crumpets.

The wife of footballer Wayne Rooney said that she has noticed that her thighs are looking a little bit flabby, her breasts are starting to sag a bit, and her belly button has gotten bigger to where she can actually keep coins in the fookin' sucker.

Coleen did say that her husband does not care how fat she gets just as long as she never reveals 'their' secret about 'Little Wayne' like Kate Gosselin revealed about her ex-husband Jon's 'Little Jon.'

Meanwhile Coleen says that she is really and truly enjoying putting all of her bikini swimsuits through the "stress test."

In other news. Sarah Palin has stated that the rumors about her husband Todd leaving her for an Eskimo pole dancer are utterly untrue. Sarah said that she knows that they're untrue because John hates Eskimo food.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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