Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has crashed into the headlines once more this morning after it was revealed that the woman with whom he has been carrying on a passionate extra-marital affair was his very own grandma.
Rooney, a 'vital cog' in England's 4-0 victory over Bulgaria at the weekend, allegedly stole around to his grandma's house when wife Coleen was out 'having her hair done', and indulged in the most filthy, wanton and wicked acts imaginable with his dear old gran.
I am unable to list the degrading perversions here, but it's thought that Rooney was all over the old biddy like a bull goring a matador.
When will he ever learn?
