VAR To Help In Coleen Rooney - Rebekah Vardy Dispute

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 26 October 2019

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WAGVAR: Minimal interference, maximum benefit

The wives of footballers, Wayne Rooney and Jamie Vardy, who were thought to be "close to agreement" after their recent falling-out on Instagram that caused a huge controversy in their own minds, have now asked for VAR assistance in their bid to sort the mess out.

Colleen Rooney, the wife of Wayne, had been worrying for some time, she claims, over who was leaking stories about her to the press. She had only told a few close friends, and hit upon an idea to 'root out' which one of them had the 'loose lips'.

Eventually finding out it was Rebekah Vardy, Jamie's wife, she 'outed' her on social media, branding her "a disgrace", and blocking her.

Coleen said:

"I can't believe tha, in this day an age, an amongst friends - an we ARE big friends - an we chat often an tha, an so on an so forth. Why does she have to go to the press behind me back like tha?"

Rebekah responded:

"I don't know anything about what she's saying. I don't need to go to the press - we're loaded. I think VAR should have a look, and let's see what they say."

Coleen accepted this, and sent a message to Rebekah on Facebook:

"Seems OK. Oh, btw have u seen Fern's new outfit?"

Rebekah replied:

"Yeah, the daft cow. In't she puttin weight on? Maybe she's up the duff lol."

A spokesman for VAR said:

"VAR wasn't brought in to deal with trivia like spats between WAGs, but, if it will shut them up, I'm sure it will be worth a try."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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