Cock-Sucking Good For Men's Health - Report
Sucking a man's penis can be extremely good for his health, claims a report published on a railway station bog wall this week. The report, found in the end cubicle of the Gents' toilets in the railway station at Stockport, near Manchester, claims...
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Gum is Good and Won’t Grow Aliens in Your Stomach, Maybe
PFfizer (or however you spell it) has put vaccines in gum! For all those bratty kids and their suspicious parents who don’t want to take their medicine … who doesn’t love a stick of gum? This gum is different, however. It sticks so well, that you…
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The New Disease: Long Obesity - Do You Have It?
Medicine has announced a new disease Long Obesity. They expect to make a lot of money treating it. There has always been Obesity, about 10% of the human raced inherit Obesity genes. Most get obese from years of overeating. Human society h…
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Nation's Hospital Accreditation Agency Identifies Sixth Vital Sign!!!
Hospital executives are reeling this morning as they prepare to be surveyed on a new standard in patient care. "Of course," said one Mid-Atlantic suburban hospital administrator, "We are aware that people need to have their respirations, pulse, tempe…
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Scientists Determine that Upwards of 96 Percent of Human Body Mass is Dark Matter and Dark Energy
Gravitational astrophysicists have long-since determined that Dark Energy and Dark Matter must account for over 96% of the mass of the universe, or else their pet theory would fall flat on its face. Pioneering physiologists are now beginning to c...
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Heated Auto Seats Contribute to Rise in Deadly Anal & Urinal Infections
ALBANY - The National Institute of Research on Auto-Immune Diseases released a report today citing heated seats in automobiles as the likely reason for the recent rash of urinary tract (UTI's) and anal/rectal infections (ARI's).
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Paris Hilton bulimic?
Doctors Optimistic About Man's Reattachment Surgery Following Tragic Waxing Accident
The Damn Good Reasons Why Monkeys Do Not Get Monkeypox
Buddhism Rates Plummet as Result of Warning that Sitting Is the New Smoking
Women need sex
CDC Begins Planning Sequel to COVID-19
"Surprise Meat" Latest in Healthier Animal Products Market
A British Scientist Discovers An Ingredient That When Put Into a Crumpet Will Do Away With Female Cellulite
Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat
Funny and original woman claims Chocolate Orange is one of her five a day
McDonalds Is Now Serving Diet Big Macs
A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes
The Science is in: Boogers Are Good For Your Brain
Parents, don't be so quick to slap down the hand of your booger eating child, they could be growing some serious brains. Scientists have discovered an entirely new class of compounds in boogers that they are calling cerebrogenic, or brain building.
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Snoop Dogg Says His Battle with Glaucoma is Finally Over
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- During an exclusive interview with TMZ, Rapper, Actor, and Entrepreneur, Snoop Dogg (aka Snoop Lion) has admitted that his long struggle with glaucoma is finally over. "I'm just glad this shizzle is finally over, I...
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Zimmer Frames to be outlawed in England
In a move certain to exacerbate already strained relations between the UK government and its Senior Citizens (or Old Gits as they are widely known) the Health and Safety Executive has recommended that Zimmer Frames be banned from June this year.
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The More Sex - the Better is Your Brain Health - New Study
A recent British study at CCN Online reported the more Sex a man had the better his Brain functioned. British scientists strapped Activity Monitors on the thighs of 4, 500 men and Sex beat out Bicycling as the best activity for Brain Health.
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Man Executes Mosquito
A man, sat minding his own business, and not being a bother to anybody, was the victim of a bloody attack last night, and was forced to carry out an execution. Moys Kenwood, 55, was sitting in his chair, typing out a spoof story on his telephone,...
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New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand
A new study by the Center for National Studies has found that people who punch walls are likely to hurt their hands. This breakthrough research took the scientific community by surprise as it was previously believed that punching a hard, immovable...
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Following Michael Richards' "N-word" Incident, FDA Warns: Salty Crackers Hazardous to Health
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the wake of Michael Richards' infamous "N-word" incident, the United States Food and Drug Administration has issued a new warning: salty crackers may be hazardous to your health.
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Studies Reveal Stabbing Yourself With a Bread Knife May Lead to Death
As shocking as it sounds, multiple studies have recently shown that stabbing yourself with a bread knife may actually increase the chances of severe injuries, and in some cases may even cause death, despite the widely-held belief that doing so actual...
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Free Coronavirus Test Kits Available To All
The shockwaves over the lack of sufficient Coronavirus testing facilities and kits was swept aside earlier by the latest up-to-date medical advice and the news that a test kit for every person living in the US is available, here and now - completely...
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PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim
If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...
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'BlueTits' British Cold Water Swimming Club - Very Popular during Covid
The BCC reports on a Cold-Water swimming Club - 'BlueTits' - with chapters around Britain. It became very popular during Covid. They have 100,000 members from Canada to Estonia. A spokesman explained the purpose of the Cold-Water bathing to k…
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Pre-diabetes Is Not A Disease And Aging is not a Disease says Alternative Medine Guru
Danny the Hollywood Diet Guru, with the curly hair, ever youthful skin, and gym physique, had to mention in his new book, 'Diet Guru to the Stars' - one of the big Frauds in Medicine. "I just had to," he said. "The scandal of it all." Danny expla…
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The United States Government Is Warning Its Citizens Not To Refill Plastic Water Bottles
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The World Health Federation (WHF) has issued a warning to the citizens of the United States regarding drinking water bottles that were manufactured in a plant in Kalamazoo, Michigan. An article which appeared in The Detro…
Read full storyFunny Health Headlines
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Following Michael Richards' "N-word" Incident, FDA Warns: Salty Crackers Hazardous to Health
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Heated Auto Seats Contribute to Rise in Deadly Anal & Urinal Infections
-
Fear as Cockney Pandemic Sweeps UK
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Cock-Sucking Good For Men's Health - Report
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New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand
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Free Coronavirus Test Kits Available To All
-
The United States Government Is Warning Its Citizens Not To Refill Plastic Water Bottles
-
'BlueTits' British Cold Water Swimming Club - Very Popular during Covid
-
The More Sex - the Better is Your Brain Health - New Study
-
Gum is Good and Won’t Grow Aliens in Your Stomach, Maybe
-
Zimmer Frames to be outlawed in England
-
Scientists Determine that Upwards of 96 Percent of Human Body Mass is Dark Matter and Dark Energy
-
Studies Reveal Stabbing Yourself With a Bread Knife May Lead to Death
-
Snoop Dogg Says His Battle with Glaucoma is Finally Over
-
The Science is in: Boogers Are Good For Your Brain
-
PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim
-
Man Executes Mosquito
-
Pre-diabetes Is Not A Disease And Aging is not a Disease says Alternative Medine Guru
-
The New Disease: Long Obesity - Do You Have It?
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Nation's Hospital Accreditation Agency Identifies Sixth Vital Sign!!!
