CLEVELAND, Ohio - (Satire News) - Doctors at Cleveland's LeBron James General Hospital have cleared up a very important matter regarding the dreaded Monkeypox virus.
Dr. Silus Sultan, informed the news media that there has never been, even a single case where a monkey, either in Zimbabwe, Brazil, Thailand, Sweden, or Cambodia has contracted the Monkeypox.
When Dr. Sultan was asked to explain, he took a sip of his orange Gatorade, and a bite of his tuna melt sandwich, and he stated that the reason is because the average monkey consumes an average of 21½ bananas a day.
The good doctor then said that, as everyone knows bananas are full of potassium, fructosynaboo, tryptophanopissalot, omega 3, neptune 7, and phimonobutylbrofo.
SIDENOTE: Experts on the Monkeypox say that each one of those six ingredients when taken in the huge numbers that monkeys ingest them help to totally ward off the monkeypox virus.