The Damn Good Reasons Why Monkeys Do Not Get Monkeypox

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 7 June 2022

image for The Damn Good Reasons Why Monkeys Do Not Get Monkeypox
A family of monkeys eating anti-Monkeypox bananas.

CLEVELAND, Ohio - (Satire News) - Doctors at Cleveland's LeBron James General Hospital have cleared up a very important matter regarding the dreaded Monkeypox virus.

Dr. Silus Sultan, informed the news media that there has never been, even a single case where a monkey, either in Zimbabwe, Brazil, Thailand, Sweden, or Cambodia has contracted the Monkeypox.

When Dr. Sultan was asked to explain, he took a sip of his orange Gatorade, and a bite of his tuna melt sandwich, and he stated that the reason is because the average monkey consumes an average of 21½ bananas a day.

The good doctor then said that, as everyone knows bananas are full of potassium, fructosynaboo, tryptophanopissalot, omega 3, neptune 7, and phimonobutylbrofo.

SIDENOTE: Experts on the Monkeypox say that each one of those six ingredients when taken in the huge numbers that monkeys ingest them help to totally ward off the monkeypox virus.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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