The true number of NHS cutbacks revealed

Funny story written by Griff

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Under The Freedom of Information Act to true extent of the cutbacks is becoming painfully clear. Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary has admitted when contacted that it is true, they are sacking all the doctors and nurses but keeping administrative staff but not in this country.

Mr Lansley said when pushed on the question .

"Surgeons, Doctors and Nurses do not add value to the big society, they cost money, quite a lot in fact, they use up resources and quite frankly put so much pressure on administration."

Asked what happens when someone is rushed into A & E he replied:

"You must get to grips with The big society, peoples choices, the last government was a nanny state we are getting away from it. Let me give you an example, you have a heart attack, you phone a number which will not cost more that £1.00 per minute from a landline, choose the correct selections and when you have agreed you have a had a heart attack, a pack will be sent out to you so you can treat yourself, no more government interference"

When asked about administration he said it will go offshore to call centres.

There is obviously going to be fallout from this and when I contacted a surgeon at a well know hospital he said:

"Must dash I got a plane to catch to The States surgery in 10 hours."

Mr Gadaffi was unavailable for comment as he was out buying a new umbrella.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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