Funny story: Boris Calls For Return of Public Hanging

Boris Calls For Return of Public Hanging

In what is being seen as a bid to upstage his fellow prime ministerial hopeful, Jeremy Hunt, Boris Johnson yesterday told a local Conservative Party Association that one of the first things he would do as PM would be to reintroduce public hanging.

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Funny story: Tories unsure about benchmarks

Tories unsure about benchmarks

The final two candidates in the race to No. 10 are baffled. After Theresa May's confession that, as a child, she ran through a field of wheat, Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt are combing their pasts for feats which might compare with such delinquent en...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

The new Tory leader-elect, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has had a steaming, great fucking row with his girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, at her London home, say neighbours. Johnson and Symonds were said to be arguing like 'cat and dog' during the...

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Funny story: Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Michael Gove, one of eleven Conservative MPs vying for the job of party leader, has said that the fact that he "took cocaine on several occasions more than 20 years ago" should not affect his bid to become Britain's prime minister. Gove, ironicall...

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Funny story: Theresa May Found Crouching Under Scottish Bridge

Theresa May Found Crouching Under Scottish Bridge

Theresa May, the former British prime minister, who resigned from her position as Conservative party leader on Friday, has been discovered by three walkers in the Scottish Highlands, crouching under a bridge. The incident took place near Ben Nevis...

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Funny story: Tories Looking For New Dealer

Tories Looking For New Dealer

London, UK - (Snorting Mess): Conservatives must appoint a new Narcotic Business Secretary following the collapse of the government’s flagshit Brexit New Deal Strategy which left ministers exposed as a bunch of crack-peddling tossers in hock to Donal...

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Funny story: Tory leadership candidate drops his pants during debate

Tory leadership candidate drops his pants during debate

Controversial Tory leadership candidate William Anchor stunned viewers yesterday when he suddenly dropped his pants during a BBC live television debate. Host, Beth Spankmequickly ignored the stunt, politely asking bookies’ favourite Chuck Karloff...

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Funny story: Brexit-type Decisions To Be Made Easier

Brexit-type Decisions To Be Made Easier

After nearly three years of hedging, wrangling, delaying tactics, and with less than five minutes to go before B-day, the government is looking for a new way to make decisions over things like Brexit. There have been countless disagreements during...

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Funny story: Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

The shock and horror released in equal amounts over last weekend when Boris Johnson officially announced his intention to stand for the leadership of the Conservative party, has subsided, but sinister uncertainties are now surrounding Mr Johnson, and...

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Funny story: Charles Manson's Ghost Admits Gruesome Murders, But "It Was A Long Time Ago"

Charles Manson's Ghost Admits Gruesome Murders, But "It Was A Long Time Ago"

Charles Manson, who died in 2017, having spent 45 years in prison for, amongst other things, 7 counts of first-degree murder, and one of conspiracy to murder, but who always denied having committed the acts, has finally come clean through his ghost,...

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Funny story: Tory Brexiteers Call for Heseltine to Be Expelled from Party

Tory Brexiteers Call for Heseltine to Be Expelled from Party

The ex-deputy prime minister and Conservative peer Lord Heseltine has said he would not back the Tories in this week's European election because of the "Conservative & Unionist" party's pro-Brexit stance. The errant lord has defended his decisio...

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Funny story: Queen Guitarist Brian May In Hospital After Consistently Denying Any Connection To Theresa May

Queen Guitarist Brian May In Hospital After Consistently Denying Any Connection To Theresa May

Brian May, the legendary lead-guitarist with rock group, Queen, is being cared for in a private hospital tonight after suffering a nervous breakdown as a result of years of denying any family connection between himself and UK prime minister, Theresa...

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Funny story: Christian Conservatives Want Barney's Genitalia

Christian Conservatives Want Barney's Genitalia

Christian Conservative gangs in the US are marching the streets armed with machetes and automatic weapons in search of SpongeBob SquarePants, Barney, and other suspected homosexual characters.

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Funny story: Political Ode Winner - August 2011

Political Ode Winner - August 2011

August's winner of the Inchcock Gazette Political Ode The Right Honourable William Hague MP (Referred to as WH in the ode) First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs. The richest MP in Parliament vs Inchcock Chambers RIP (Referred to as IC in the ode) Out of work lower grade elderly Spoofer Under Medical Care. Basic pension, in debt up to his ey...

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Funny story: Same old people in the running

Same old people in the running

When putting out an advert for a future Prime Minister, recruitment firm Wet Sprocket forgot to put the important disclaimer 'Previous Applicants will not be considered'. Wet Sprocket press bod, John Grayling, said 'It was a simple oversight on ou...

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Funny story: Labour Conference: Balls at root of PM's Tiny penis...jibe

Labour Conference: Balls at root of PM's Tiny penis...jibe

In a rousing, rapturous Labour Party conference where only three elderly members died, the shadow chancellor appeared a shadow of his current shadow self, until his startling observations brought the house down and lit up his rotund face. Ed Balls...

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Funny story: Margaret Thatcher Statue Is Creepily Real, And May Come To Life, Say Residents

Margaret Thatcher Statue Is Creepily Real, And May Come To Life, Say Residents

A statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, due to be sited in her hometown of Grantham in Lincolnshire, has worried local residents, who say it looks too lifelike, and may come alive to scare them. Thatcher, thankfully now dead, was the...

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Funny story: Osbourne uses example of Iggy Pop to defend cuts

Osbourne uses example of Iggy Pop to defend cuts

George Osbourne has used the sad example of punk-rock god Iggy Pop in order to defend massive government cuts in public spending. Pop, a hugely sucessful singer/songwriter fell on hard times in the late noughties due to his irresponsible spending habits and penchant for gambling huges swathes of money on internet bumfights. 'Whilst I'm not the biggest fan of his "music" myself' Osbourne told...

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Funny story: Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader

Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader

In the fall-out of Prime Minister Theresa May's dancing debacle in Kenya last month, leading Conservatives have said that what's needed to carry their party forward, and to keep 'in step' and 'in tune' with the Great British public, is a woman with h...

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Funny story: Tory Leadership Contest Latest: Chris Grayling Enters the Fray

Tory Leadership Contest Latest: Chris Grayling Enters the Fray

There were whoops of joy from the membership of the "Conservative & Unionist" party (male and white, average age 57) today as Transport Secretary Chris Grayling threw his hat into the ever-expanding ring. "He's just what we need to open up the...

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