Funny story: Boris Johnson To Meet Coronavirus Leader

Boris Johnson To Meet Coronavirus Leader

You know things are at a critical stage when government leaders offer to meet a virus for negotiations, but that is exactly the announcement that came out of Downing Street this morning, when the British prime minister, Boris Johnson, told members of...

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Funny story: Queen Guitarist Brian May In Hospital After Consistently Denying Any Connection To Theresa May

Queen Guitarist Brian May In Hospital After Consistently Denying Any Connection To Theresa May

Brian May, the legendary lead-guitarist with rock group, Queen, is being cared for in a private hospital tonight after suffering a nervous breakdown as a result of years of denying any family connection between himself and UK prime minister, Theresa...

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Funny story: Cthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle

Cthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle

The Dark Lord Cthulhu, devourer of souls and destroyer of worlds, has been given a seat in Boris Johnson's cabinet, as Minister without Portfolio, replacing Michael Gove. The Great Old One has no previous experience of government, but has a cult f...

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Funny story: Theresa May Found Crouching Under Scottish Bridge

Theresa May Found Crouching Under Scottish Bridge

Theresa May, the former British prime minister, who resigned from her position as Conservative party leader on Friday, has been discovered by three walkers in the Scottish Highlands, crouching under a bridge. The incident took place near Ben Nevis...

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Funny story: Same old people in the running

Same old people in the running

When putting out an advert for a future Prime Minister, recruitment firm Wet Sprocket forgot to put the important disclaimer 'Previous Applicants will not be considered'. Wet Sprocket press bod, John Grayling, said 'It was a simple oversight on ou...

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Funny story: Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader

Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader

In the fall-out of Prime Minister Theresa May's dancing debacle in Kenya last month, leading Conservatives have said that what's needed to carry their party forward, and to keep 'in step' and 'in tune' with the Great British public, is a woman with h...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories

Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories

Boris Johnson, the rebellious, rambunctious renegade who has become Conservative Party leader, and UK prime minister as a result, fully believes in his ability to resolve the countries woes, and get it back on its feet again. But is he the only on...

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Funny story: Stranger who mistakes Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings for homeless man and gives him money to buy coffee is escorted off the premises

Stranger who mistakes Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings for homeless man and gives him money to buy coffee is escorted off the premises

Prime Minister Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings doesn’t dress like other advisors. He long ago swapped a tie and suit for an anorak and beanie hat. He may be the man that all Tory MPs are afraid of, but few members of the public recognise him among...

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Funny story: Man Didn't Vote In Election

Man Didn't Vote In Election

A man has revealed how he decided not to seize the opportunity of casting his vote in the UK General Election yesterday, and went to work instead. Myke Woodson told friends that he really couldn't care less what happened in the election, and hoped...

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Funny story: Mogg And Roll

Mogg And Roll

As the affably cuntish Boris Johnson assembles his “war cabinet” (a gang of sociopaths with no regard for anyone but themselves), the equally insane Mogg has begun to exert his influence over the government. Which, like anyone who has never really ha...

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Funny story: Science Fiction Versus Political Fiction

Science Fiction Versus Political Fiction

Warning: Chance Discovery of Future Now Securely Archived Past, present and future are ever-present, as the tinpot Eliots among us will no doubt affirm. The future is documented already, but little more can be said for it than this. Still, there is at least one "consolation of misosophy." To wit: The prying pleb hands of prying plebs (who arrogantly demand "freeloader user status"...

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Funny story: The General Redirection

The General Redirection

As the election hots up, and seemingly every Tory candidate is called out for lying, many familiar political battlegrounds have opened up. Many MPs have decried the state of our health service and are all promising to hand-build thousands of beds and...

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Funny story: Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Michael Gove, one of eleven Conservative MPs vying for the job of party leader, has said that the fact that he "took cocaine on several occasions more than 20 years ago" should not affect his bid to become Britain's prime minister. Gove, ironicall...

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Funny story: Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...

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Funny story: Conservatives should vote on Friday due to voting card mix-up

Conservatives should vote on Friday due to voting card mix-up

A nationwide change to polling cards means that the election will now be spread over two days. Boris Johnson has insisted that his face be printed next to the Conservative party's candidate on every polling card printed. As a result, there has been a...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

The new Tory leader-elect, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has had a steaming, great fucking row with his girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, at her London home, say neighbours. Johnson and Symonds were said to be arguing like 'cat and dog' during the...

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Funny story: Daenerys Targaryen to announce bid for Tory Leadership

Daenerys Targaryen to announce bid for Tory Leadership

Following the successful completion of popular soft-core porn series "Game of Thongs", mad Queen of the Ashes, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of chains, Daenerys "Dany" Targaryen, is to make her next move in politics by throwing her hat into the ring...

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Funny story: Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

The shock and horror released in equal amounts over last weekend when Boris Johnson officially announced his intention to stand for the leadership of the Conservative party, has subsided, but sinister uncertainties are now surrounding Mr Johnson, and...

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Funny story: Charles Manson's Ghost Admits Gruesome Murders, But "It Was A Long Time Ago"

Charles Manson's Ghost Admits Gruesome Murders, But "It Was A Long Time Ago"

Charles Manson, who died in 2017, having spent 45 years in prison for, amongst other things, 7 counts of first-degree murder, and one of conspiracy to murder, but who always denied having committed the acts, has finally come clean through his ghost,...

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Funny story: Three Daft Things About Jeremy Hunt

Three Daft Things About Jeremy Hunt

London, UK - (Rioters): Prime Ministerial contender Jeremy Hunt has been grilled by Spoof website reporters about being the next gaffer after Theresa May. The wide-ranging rant kicked off with his wet dream of a new turd runway at Heathrow Airport...

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