The Huntsman Commeth

Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 11 June 2017


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for The Huntsman Commeth
Any of these fuck sticks would be better than Hunt

The election has happened and the predicted destruction of Labour at the polls didn't happen. Which along with our all clear STI test last week was the best news we've had all year. Jeremy Corbyn looks more like a leader than ever and May will now try and govern with the legitimacy and political strength of a six year old wank sock.

We at Back and to the Left news have always supported progressive politics. We believe that everyone should be given the opportunities they deserve. Everyone should be assessed as capable until they prove otherwise. Which is why it baffles us, beyond the point of batshit fuckery, that Jeremy Hunt has been reappointed as the Health Secretary.

It makes about as much sense as putting a fucking creationist in charge of a science lesson.

Jeremy Hunt's track record with the NHS is one of striking Dr's, 24 hour shifts, fucked AnE departments and motherfukcers dying left right and centre on beds in cold corridors. We at Back and to the Left news wouldn't trust him to run a marathon never mind a health service.

We always try to remain impartial with our political views unfortunately when you have a dead eyed maniac with a passion for raping charge of fucking hospitals impartiality needs to be dropped quicker than he dropped the ball on mental health funding. Do you know how many times we've had our stomach pumped? We need hospitals fucking working! We don't need staff fretting over if they can eat tonight or if their putting the heating on instead.

Last time this raging haemorrhoid of a human was around he managed to make Michael Gove look likeable and he tried to kill off the education system. So it baffles us (then again so do most crosswords) that Mrs May has given him another opportunity. It's like she enjoys and embraces complete and total flaccid failures. This appointment might give us more insight into her sex life than we'd like to know.

Mr Hunt was and probably still is on a one man mission to drive the NHS into the ground, stake it there and leave it for the circling pharmaceutical companies to pick it clean. It's a plan he will get away with because he has all the morality of a used nappy that's being peeled from the arsehole of a badger.

He doesn't care about the NHS. The NHS cares about you. It probably needs your support more than ever now.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more