Conservative Party Leadership Battle Ends In Tie

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 23 July 2019

image for Conservative Party Leadership Battle Ends In Tie
Jeremy Hunt and Boris Johnson celebrate the result earlier

The race to become the next leader of the Conservative Party is over, with the most dramatic result possible: after the 160,000 party members' votes were counted last night, it was announced just minutes ago, that the scores had finished level, with both Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt receiving exactly 50% of the votes!

A recount confirmed the result: 80,000 - 80,000.

The two will now form a coalition Prime Ministry.

Johnson and Hunt can't stand each other, but are going to have to find some way of cooperating on issues, starting with Brexit. Johnson wants to leave the EU, and Hunt wants to stay. It's thought that they might agree to have a 'six months in, six months out' kind of arrangement, and are to ask EU ministers if this would be possible.

A Civil War is expected to rage, but this would not be totally unacceptable to Tories, and, indeed, some would welcome a 'thinning down' of the underclasses.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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