Boris likely to remain in Number 10 for a year as hundreds of MPs throw their hat in the ring for the leadership contest

Funny story written by Cleopatra Chaos

Saturday, 9 July 2022

image for Boris likely to remain in Number 10 for a year as hundreds of MPs throw their hat in the ring for the leadership contest
Tory MPs line up for leadership contest

Expectations that disgraced Prime Minister Boris Johnson will be out of office within a few weeks were dashed as several hundred Tory MPs declared their intention to stand for the leadership contest. The list includes many MPs that the public has never heard of and some MPs that other MPs hadn't heard of.

But the smell of power appears to have pulled them out of the woodwork.

The Tory Party leadership rules are quite complex and stipulate that hopefuls must be whittled down one at a time. Which means that there will be practically as many votes as there are contestants.

Further, the 1922 Committee Handbook says that after every third vote, remaining candidates have to attend a gentleman's club in Mayfair, smoke one cigar, wear a pig's mask and get spanked on the bottom with a table tennis bat by a barmaid. The rule was introduced to preserve what is the norm for most male Tory MPs (and some female ones too).

However, some candidates have announced that they won't agree to do this, which means that the 1922 Committee needs to change the rules. However, the rules can only be changed "Over the Chairman's dead body" which presents some challenges.

It is therefore predicted that the contest could take up to a year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more