A clothing shop belonging to Ronald Limp-Ball was ransacked as chaos engulfed the Emerald City on Saturday night, and the Wizard of Oz was nowhere to be found.
Mr. Limp-Ball was shocked to hear that the looters were in fact un-aborted, foster dingbats.
"I come from a long line of religious conservatives who helped to make abortion illegal," Limp-Ball continues, "I had no idea it would backfire," as he shook his head.
As vandals dispersed from the Public Safety Building, where police cars were smashed, and other vehicles were lit on fire, another group of un-aborted individuals moved in quickly to finish off Limp-Ball's store that was too much of an eyesore. In a sort of primordial ritual, they danced and cheered before burning down Limp-Ball's store with flaming torches.
Albert Einstein, in 1940, was asked what he thought about abortion.
"Abortion is the cause of a genetic error that cancels itself out like a math equation," Albert Einstein continues, "making it illegal only allows the error to multiply, causing total social extinction."
Unfortunately, afflicted with unforgiving Karma, Limp-Ball quickly succumbed to the choking smoke. He was fixing his store to make it tidy for his next round of future customers, he was happily dreaming about. His charred remains were found a week later.
He should've listened to the dire warning Nostradamus gave the world centuries ago about sleeping trees who didn't plan ahead for the coming fires.
He would've realized that his anti-abortion stance would overpopulate the world with needy and desperate orphans who would one day devour his worldly goods.
Also, the Catholic Church was looted and burned down, giving God a sigh of relief.
