David Cameron Found In Attic

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Saturday, 2 January 2021

image for David Cameron Found In Attic
Cameron, just to the left behind the cabinet.

Missing David Cameron has been found in an attic in the Cotswolds, when residents put away their Christmas decorations.

The ex-UK Prime Minister, who was pretty much responsible for the whole Brexit debacle, has been missing since stepping down, shortly after announcing the results of the referendum on leaving the EU.

Mr Basil Simms and his wife, Maureen, were packing away ornaments and tinsel at their home in Chipping Norton, when a trip to the loft resulted in a huge shock for the couple.

Mr Simms told us: 'I flicked on the light, and started loading in the boxes as Mo was passing them up to me, and I saw these eyes looking back at me from the corner, just behind the water tank.'

'My hubby was so surprised, he nearly fell out through the loft hatch,' confirmed Maureen.

The eyes, all beady and pale, were that of the erstwhile PM Cameron.

'After pulling myself together a bit, we decided to try and get him down. I managed to coax him forward with a bit of mince pie. He took a while to trust us, but he was soon eating from my hand,' Simms told us.

'Mo called the authorities, while I was doing this, and they soon turned up. After that, we were ushered out of the house, while the experts took over,' he finished.

Cameron was moved down from the loft in a cage, and whisked away in a large truck to an undisclosed location.

Officials refused to comment directly when we contacted them, but we managed to speak to a former deputy who told us 'we'd been wondering where he went. I have no idea if he moved from house to house, or was in that particular loft the whole time.'

'To be honest though, I'm not totally convinced he hasn't staged this. A little coincidental that he's 'found' shortly after Brexit is finally done,' our source told us.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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