Written by Rich Lather

Wednesday, 28 July 2004

image for Drudge Report Sinks To New Low
Scene from 'Boning for Columbine'

WASHINGTON - Matt Drudge's ‘The Drudge Report' has long been hailed by right-wing conservatives as the definitive source for dirt on their liberal Democrat adversaries. With the release of ‘Fahrenheit 9/11', controversial film director Michael Moore cast a shadow the Bush administration and may have very well influenced the outcome of the Presidential election in November. The Drudge Report has since carried numerous stories impugning Moore and refuting his claims, but the latest article may have taken the Drudge Report to a new low.

In an obvious attempt to discredit Mr. Moore, Drudge Report editors followed up on rumors that Moore had appeared in pornographic films while in college. To their apparent surprise, nude pictures of Mr. Moore weren't very difficult to obtain. To pay his way through college, the reports says, Moore appeared in more than one porn production. The pay was much better than selling plasma, and it certainly meshed with his film-making aspirations, the report pointed out.

The picture included in the article, from a film entitled ‘Boning for Columbine', depicted a bondage scene in which a much younger, nude Michael Moore was bound and suspended from a large hoist. Bondage, discipline and S&M were reportedly the topics of most of the films in which Moore was involved. In an odd twist of fate, Moore would direct a controversial similarly titled film just 10 years later.

Michael Moore wasn't available for comment, but aides insisted that "the picture isn't as bad as it seems. It was taken out of context and the story on the Drudge report is a complete fabrication. Michael Moore categorically denies ever having any involvement in the filming of any pornographic productions." His spokesman suggested that Matt Drudge compiled this information months ago and timed the release in a blatant attempt to damage Mr. Moore's credibility regarding ‘Fahrenheit 9/11'. "Our lawyers," the aide added, "will be contacting the Drudge Report immediately in an attempt to have the story pulled. If Americans see this picture, they will assume Michael is guilty of something, and we don't want that, do we?"

Editors at the Drudge Report insist that the information is accurate, the photo is genuine and say the story will stand as is. Dennis Rosenblatt, an assistant editor for the Drudge Report explained, "We eagerly await Mr. Moore's response. We've obtained hard evidence as well as testimony from multiple witnesses who attended college and even performed with him in these films. We're not sure what twisted logic he'll throw at us, but if it's anything like his last ‘documentary', it should prove to be quite amusing."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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