Everybody Hurts … Like Kanye
Kanye is sad … Nobody likes him. Companies don’t want anything to do with him anymore. Kim’s gone and dated someone more liked by the public than ole Ye. Does he even have a bank account anymore? In America? Maybe China, sure, or Switzerland. He e…
Read full storyDo You See What Bill Sees?
Bill Gates is currently working on another piece of revolutionary technology that we’ll all be wanting sooner than now! An optical microchip of some sort that people will have implanted into their eyeballs – and which will allow Bill (and his budd…
Read full storyGinny the Sucker Ain’t Blowin’ No Whistles
A whistleblower (who shall remain nameless … duh) associated with the American Supreme Court has revealed that Ginny Thomas, wife of the black Jabba the Hutt, is in deeper than anyone ever thought. She is known, among the various justices, regardl…
Read full storyOfficials Arrest a Man For Abusing His Pet Dalmation
SAGINAW, Michigan - (Satire News) - Press Extra's Voodoo Dupree has stated that a retired ladies shoe salesman has been taken into custody for mentally, emotionally, and physically abusing his 6-year-old pet Dalmation. A FedEx delivery man who hap…
Read full storyDonald Trump's High School Baby Mama Says He Owes Her $1.3 Million in Back Child Support
SCHENECTADY, New York - The Washington Globe-Express Newspaper has just broken the bombshell that the evil racist's high school girlfriend, Tinda "Tits" Tippenfist, 84, says that he impregnated her during their high schoool dating courtship. Mrs.
Read full storyKing Charles Has Just Officially Named The Buckingham Palace Kitchen, The Princess Diane Royal Commemorative Kitchen
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The BBC reports that King Charles III, has announced that effective immediately the Buck House kitchen will be officially known as The Princess Diane Royal Commemorative Kitchen. King Charles III, spoke with his bic…
Read full storyYoYo the Superstar Attacks Back with Song
Hollywood Music News has managed to get an advanced copy of YoYo’s new song (or is it just ‘Ye’? Can’t keep track of all the name changes), but some music critics wonder who exactly is he attacking now? He hates so many, and walks around with a b…
Read full story“Making Love” from Nation to Nation on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is coming up, and some countries want to express their love for other countries. Russia wants to “make love” to Ukraine. China wants to “make love” to Taiwan. The USA and Canada want to “make love” to Haiti. But a lot of n…
Read full storyRockin’ Out the Vote – Literally!
ABCD News has reported that top level political judges and lawmakers have decided that politicians can no longer be trusted to govern, nor elect themselves to office, nor be civil, nor stop acting like a bunch of whiny Kardashians! And in America…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Set To Make a Major Announcement About a Well-Known Bed Partner
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Vox Populi reporter Tapioca Swizzle says that she recently spoke with Sen. Marjorie Taylor Greene, and she was informed that the newly-divorced sexual firecracker will be making a major sexual annoncement very soon.
Read full story"Sex Sells!"
HOLLYWOOD - (Movie Satire) - Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres reporter Tahiti Zeppelin has just informed her readers that the nation's top female porn star Pretzel Garibaldi has just signed to star in the X-rated sex movie "Sex Sells!" Al Pacino will co-s…
Read full storyG. W. Bushwacker Writes the Latest Religious Hit
Religious Times News has reported that not just Trump and Biden have secret documents in their dirty laundry rooms, but older presidents also have a few classified napkins kicking around the tool room, the lounge, the Jacuzzi, the 70s orgy parlour, a…
Read full storyChina Serenades the West with a Love Song
Hello, my western friend! How are you doing in your studies to learn Cantonese? Not Mandarin, please, that’s only for the elite. (Did I rhyme accidentally there? Howdy Yankee Funtime Gangster Bitcoin – I’m good!) You all know that soon China will…
Read full storyHans from Germany Loves Millennial Pronouns
Yah, guten tag, my name iz Hans und I’m from Germany, old school, my grandpapa vas a N … oh, you almost got me to say the N word! Nein! Anyways, I will try to talk your American British English language, yah? Okay. We love that some of you emb…
Read full storyAnother Hippie Sings Another Goddamn Song About … Whatever
Hey everybody, my name’s Moon Butterfly Hippie Goddess, and my pronouns are “Fight the Power!” and here’s a new song I wrote, so sit back and drink your wheat grass chai and think about shaving those legs and cancel anything and anyone who looks at y…
Read full storySuper Dooper Über Uber Alles
Late breaking news which should be of concern to all people who drive in an Uber, especially women. Yes, you’re busy and on the go, go, go, and you don’t have time to raise your hand to flag a cab, and you’re essentially attached to your phone as…
Read full storyCrazy Hippie Protest Song Won’t Get Airplay
It might sound like an old Japanese creature feature, but nope, it’s a protest song soon to be put out, not by Kanye, but by some old crazy hippie punk rocker no one ever heard of called Slim Snot Groovy Sunshine Loverboy … not to be confused with ……
Read full storyA New Anthem for Making Mississippi Great Again
Fascinating new developments, since the GOP took over the Speaker of the House … a vote has been passed by a slim margin, but the Republicans have all decided to change the state anthem of Mississippi. Mark Twain once wrote about it, and his vers…
Read full storyHome Run in the Holy Land
The Israelis have embraced baseball! Or they’re trying … they’re really trying … Acclaimed American coach, Wally Whackamole, has been flown to the Holy Land (if that’s not irony at its finest) to teach the fine art of the Wrigley Field diamond.
Read full storyHooters Cuts Big Deal with National Football League-and the Teams
Hooters is vying to be the premier Sports Bar in the nation and may cut a good deal with the NFL for many millions of bucks. Plans include renaming the Football as the 'Hoot Ball', which will have Hooters on it in big letters. Announcers will ada…
Read full storyU.S. is Awash in Misplaced Top Secret Documents - Says Ret. General Humprey Foghorn
Top Secret Documents are everywhere according to top US General (Ret) Humprey Foghorn. Texas is littered with old Top Iraq War Plans left by ex - Prez. George Bush Jr. There are found up and down the Interstate by the side of the road. (…
Read full storyLouisiana's #1 Voodoo Woman Said She Tried Like Hell, But She Could Not Drive The Damn Demons From Trump's Fat-Ass Body
SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - (Satire News) - Eric and Donald Trump Jr, hired a certified Louisiana voodoo woman to try and exhort the mean, evilness from their orange daddy's body. Eric said that the witch doctor, named Lady Bayou Mama, has been noted…
Read full storyLatest Revelation of Prince Harry-too 'Racy' to Publish in the Book
The publisher thought this Tidbit was too 'Racy' to put in the book - said Boris Blathering British Gossip Journalist. I am so tired of being called a Journalist - 'Gossip Journalists' is what we all are today. It's up to Date. I like it. Any…
Read full storyGlobal Warming Changes in the Next Few Years - The Red Sea turns Yellow, Etc.
Global Warming lead to new algae, plants and animals(including people) taking over the Land and Water - said Dr. Futuro (and his Writer Bot. Lenny). The Black Sea turns White - (high salt content due to evaporation). The Red Sea turns yellow (yel…
Read full story