ABCD News has reported that top level political judges and lawmakers have decided that politicians can no longer be trusted to govern, nor elect themselves to office, nor be civil, nor stop acting like a bunch of whiny Kardashians!
And in America there’s some strange thing called PACs or Super PACs … no one who doesn’t belong to one has no idea what those are, but apparently they can change the “one person-one vote” outdated concept, and put into power anyone whom the Masonic lodge brothers want in, regardless of party.
Well, people have had enough of that shit, so they’re making it very easy (even easier) to become president.
Whomever can play guitar the best wins the vote! Rock on!
Those who like to staple paper ads on lamp posts advertising guitar lessons are too busy to take more students! Everyone wants to learn guitar – it’s cheaper than needing millions or billions just to ATTEMPT to become prez. Can you afford a git box, an axe? You may have what it takes to lead the most schizo country in the world.
Bar chords, A minor, slide guitar, whammy bar, pickups, Robert Johnson … learn them all. You don’t really have to know how to play well, as long as it sounds like you do (just like regular politics), and can make a fuckload of noise. No soft songs allowed. No pop, no do-wop, no folk, no jazz, and no goddamn love songs unless they kick ass!
You wanna win, dontcha? Air guitar does NOT count. You really need a real guitar and you really need to fake it!
Good luck, contestants … I mean, uh, political hopefuls.
