China Serenades the West with a Love Song

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 14 January 2023

image for China Serenades the West with a Love Song
See How Happy Chinese Children Sing for Happiness and Not Rocking the Boat?!

Hello, my western friend! How are you doing in your studies to learn Cantonese? Not Mandarin, please, that’s only for the elite. (Did I rhyme accidentally there? Howdy Yankee Funtime Gangster Bitcoin – I’m good!)

You all know that soon China will take over the world, yes? We will own you. Don’t you like to be owned? No one does, but almost every nation does it. What places does America own? Hello, Puerto Rico! Do you have taxation without representation? Ha Ha, American colonial hypocrisy – China loves it! And Great Britain, who do you own? How many of your colonies are left? You still in Cyprus and Gibraltar? Super awesome incredible – now don’t say you don’t like us taking over others when you’ve done it too! Ha Ha, we are all good friends – but still, we’re gonna own your asses.

Very very soon …

Until then, here’s a song written by a protester man from Hong Kong who found himself in our prison and “accidentally” fell off a roof top with seventeen bullets in his back … enjoy!

China Vagina

China vagina
Fucking the world
All the boys and girls
It’s the richest commie
Fascist dummies
China vagina
Let’s fuck it right back

Every western tramp
Bears a Chinese stamp
Your high top shoes
Soaked in Chinese cooze
Smell the rice fish
On your collector's dish
All your favourite millionaires
Live in China’s lair

Place your bets
On a free Tibet
Oh how long
Can we keep Taiwan
But the rich never let
Poverty’s freedom set
Build another great wall
Around the biggest mall
Give ‘em what they need
To western man’s greed

Fucking Chinese pussy
Keeps corporations busy
But who makes more
The john or the whore
China gets all she needs
Suckin’ white seed
Spits it right back
To keep its books in the black

[Mic drop]

Wasn’t that super happy genius kung-fu ridiculous?! Do I sound more Japanese than Chinese? Not to worry, the Japanese invaded us once, now it’s payback for them too.

This song sounds like it’s pro-China, but no, our team of literary detectives have found high doses of irony in the lyrics – read between the lines – there’s a secret anti-China message there – can you see it?

Hope not … you don’t want to fall off roofs too, do you? Ha ha, I am of course just kidding because China loves sense of humor, we are known for it, many Chinese stand-up comedians … have not been heard from for a long, long time …

Now go buy many western products made in China -- you made us rich -- we used to live in bamboo huts before we sewed together your Nike running shoes and mass-produced your dildos and rubber vaginas!

Ha ha, super happy John Wayne Michael Jackson moonwalk!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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