Arizona Border Patrol Agents Discover The Longest Drug Cartel Tunnel In The History of Tunnels
RATTLESNAKE PEE, Arizona – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just broken the story that US Border Patrol agents have just discovered the longest tunnel ever constructed between the United States and Mexico. American tunnel expert Jose Juan Cabeza…
Read full storyWalter Muesli’s Guide to Acting part 1
Well Hello there, I am Walter Muesli, a famed actor from the 1970s with a still flourishing career. I was most recently in an episode of Midsummer Murders. I had a scene with Neil Dudgeon. A great chap brings so much pathos to the role of Bar…
Read full storyHow did you see in the new year? by Mr Raymond Ving
Well hello there, How did you see in 2022? Were you at a party with some colleagues from Number 10? Were you busy throwing pieces of Coal into your neighbour’s gardens, like they do in Scotland? Or like a few people, did you go to bed at 10? Ha…
Read full storyMan looking for the happy music on Radio 3
After three hours of listening to Radio 3, Brian Asshat is yet to hear any happy music. Chutney on the Fritz’s least eligible bachelor, but the most careful curator of pencil shavings, feathers and paperclips said ‘I was listening to a symphony by…
Read full storyFirst Meeting of 2022 lasts three hours
A meeting in a small firm lasted three hours, the longest meeting of the year, but also the shortest one in its history, due to the lack of Sue from Accounts. Bunty McClintock, who works in reception said ‘It was the first meeting of 2022, and sur…
Read full storyCouple arguing over the last twiglet
Gary and Lorraine Johnson have spent the last hour arguing over the last Twiglet. ‘I love Twiglets’ said Gary ‘but I hate Marmite, so if I want the taste of Marmite without the texture, I go for a Twiglet, but there was only one left, so I asked L…
Read full storyBezos-Musk, Inc., Is In The Process of Developing a Pill That When Taken Orally Will Totally Eradicate The Omicron X Virus In Just 30 Minutes
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Move over Pizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson, there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Bezos-Musk. The largest corporation in the world has just informed their entire staff of pharmaceutical scientists to put…
Read full storyParents now seen as being extremist by racist grandparents, and woke children
Stuck between two generations at Christmas time, parents Alex and Felicity Chilblaine are now seen as being extremists by the two surrounding generations. ‘It was mad’ said Alex ‘Felicity and myself would class ourselves as fairly liberal, treat t…
Read full story"Have you seen my Teeth?" asks Grandfather around Dinner table
Christmas dinner was slightly soured by Grandad ‘Foggy’ losing his false teeth. ‘Foggy’ is named after the character in Last of The Summer Wine, but actually Christened as Alloysius Bennington by his Parents lost his teeth somewhere around the Chr…
Read full storySmall Child will always be scared of being visited by strange man on Christmas Eve
Three and Half year old Jacob will always be scared of a strange old man visiting him at Christmas. The slightly odd chap, who asked for a globe and a kitchen appliance from Santa, had been a good boy, but the whole idea of a strange man in his ho…
Read full storyFamily game of Jenga leads to divorce
A traditional family game of Jenga at Christmas has led to divorce like it has done every year for the past few years. Stacey Johnson and Sidney Bartholomew were playing their traditional family game of Jenga with Stacey’s Brother Gary, sister in…
Read full storyPig not so happy in mud
Pig Boris Johnson is not so happy in mud. Despite the popular saying, Boris, named sarcastically but fittingly after the current Prime Minister (at the time of writing) is not, and never has been happy in mud. The porcine philosopher told us ‘N…
Read full storyFor the fourth time the Mrs Brown Boys Christmas Special fails to lift the nation’s spirits
Now something of a Christmas tradition, like Call The Midwife, The Snowman, a forty-year-old episode of Morecambe and Wise, and the Queen’s Speech, the Christmas edition of comedy Mrs Brown’s Boys has failed to lift the nation’s spirits, again.
Read full storySad times in the soaps, still proving popular
Despite a number of bad things happening in real life, bad things happening in the soaps still seem to be incredibly popular. A serial killer haunting Emmerdale, and a seemingly inept policeman not noticing that all of the deaths have happened sin…
Read full storyWrapping Paper remembering its time around the tree
Red wrapping paper Gavin Williamson is remembering his time around the tree, from his new home, at the bottom of the recycling bin. ‘Yes, there was a time when people would look at me, and think, there is a fine piece of wrapping paper, doing a gr…
Read full storyQueen dubs Andrew Duke of Gearl
Phuckingham Palace - The city of York is stripping a pig. Normally pigs don’t wear medals and fruit salad, but this one does Since the city of York is stripping Andrew of his Dukiness, the Queen has named him Duke of Gearl. In a boisterous par…
Read full storyBarron Trump Is Growing Like a Freakin’ Weed And Could Reach 7-Feet Tall By The Time He Turns 18
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – Barron Trump’s pediatrician recently told the news media that the 15-year-old former first kid has shot up and is now an amazing 6-feet-7-inches tall! He added that at this rate Melania's son could end up bein…
Read full storyLocal man disappointed at not finding dead body while walking dog
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he was extremely disappointed when he failed to discover the body of a murder victim while out walking his new puppy at the weekend. Toby Dell, a gravity die-caster from Vallance Road,…
Read full storyBezos-Musk, Inc. To Build A Huge Factory In Liverpool, England
LIVERPOOL, England - (Satire News) – England is thrilled to announce that the largest corporation in the world has just agreed to build a huge factory in Liverpool, England. True Dat News Agency reporter Reggie Rickenbacker, informed the UK public…
Read full storySen. Joe “Pussy Boy” Manchin Says Since He’s Turned Into a Traitor Bastard, He’s Received Over 3 Million Threats
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) – Sen. Manchin recently spoke with Anderson Cooper of CNN, and he told him that he has no idea why so many people hate him. Cooper, who is not noted for mincing words replied, “Ahhhh, well my guess is probably becaus…
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