After three hours of listening to Radio 3, Brian Asshat is yet to hear any happy music.
Chutney on the Fritz’s least eligible bachelor, but the most careful curator of pencil shavings, feathers and paperclips said ‘I was listening to a symphony by Dvorak, a bit of Sibelius and some Rachmaninov, and none of it lifted my spirits. None of it did at all, so I am looking for some happy music to listen to’.
Brian’s own extensive CD collection consists of CDs by Ronan Keating, Shania Twain, and Barry Manilow, so when it comes to happy, upbeat music he doesn’t have a high bar to jump.
He continued ‘I just want something I can tap a foot to. I would say feet, but I only have one shoe, after throwing one of them at Thomas Johnson, honestly, how much longer will he be moping over Sarah at number 11 for?’
Brian has been moping over a woman from his youth for 39 years now. We would feel his pain if we felt anything for Brian at all.
