AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Move over Pizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson, there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Bezos-Musk.
The largest corporation in the world has just informed their entire staff of pharmaceutical scientists to put everything else on the backburners and concentrate 24/7 on finding a cure (as fast as humanly possible) for the dreaded Omicron X Virus.
Elon Musk spoke with a reporter with the Austin Texan World newspaper, and informed him that he believes that his company has the most talented and best-looking pharmaceutical scientists in the world working at their Austin mega-plant.
Musk’s partner and fellow multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos, positively concurs and added that when they do develop the anti-body, it will be given first to the elderly and then to children under 10, and then to middle-agers.
Bezos did want it known that the pill will not be available to those who do not believe in vaccines [i.e. Republicans].
When asked if perhaps it wasn't a bit harsh on those dumbass non-believers, Bezos took a sip of his Scotch & 7 (Up), grinned, and said, like they say in San Francisco, "Tuff titty, said the kitty!"
