RATTLESNAKE PEE, Arizona – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just broken the story that US Border Patrol agents have just discovered the longest tunnel ever constructed between the United States and Mexico.
American tunnel expert Jose Juan Cabeza de Toro, 61, noted that not only is this tunnel, which has been dubbed the Rattlesnake Pee Tunnel, the longest, but it is also the most elaborate.
Cabeza de Toro, who is known as the Spanish Brad Pitt, reported that the 19 mile long tunnel has an air conditioning system that is estimated to be worth every bit of $2.7 million.
It also has a rail system that uses a mini-locomotive along with 4 railcars that can transport tons of individuals, drugs, or both.
The BP agents stumbled upon the massive tunnel after they were alerted by one of the K-9 dogs, “Pistolero,” a 7-year veteran of the US Border Patrol K-9 Organization.
In his 7-year career “Pistolero” has been credited with capturing 13,402 illegal individuals, along with $491.3 million of drugs; including Colombian Cocaine, Peruvian Marching Dust, Durango Bango Pot, Yucatan Primo Crack, and Mexicali Maracas Marijuana, among lots of others.
SIDENOTE: The United States government is planning on sealing off the tunnel and turning it into a highly elaborate underground sewer system.
