The Hymie COWVID19 tragedy
Old McDonald’s White Farm - We knew Hymie was special when we brought him in from the fields that warm September, when we were young and shallow fellows. All of us wanted to be the one chosen to eat him. But I was the one who drew the long st...
Read full storyCoronavirus Is Not Like A Broken Leg
Coronavirus is not like a broken leg. Coronavirus is contagious. It is a deadly contagion. That means you can catch it from someone who is standing too close to you, is not wearing a mask, and you can die. Dying is forever. A broken leg is temporary.
Read full storyEvil Force Travels From Trump's Ass To His Brain
When we look back to the time before 2016, we find ourselves living in a world of events, which would have been inconceivable before the inauguration of Trump. Obama, whatever his faults, was a rational man who pursued intelligent policies. He was p...
Read full storyFace Lift In The Sun Lit Up Lands
Local billionaire and enthusiastic paper aeroplane make, Harold Diggleby-brough, has laid the gauntlet down to the people of his local village. Mr Diggleby-brough believes that the people of Silsby Tweed are amongst the ugliest in the country, and wa...
Read full storyBillboard Top 10 Music Chart - Sponsored By The Coronavirus
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, that all-pervading nuisance that has entered into every facet of worldwide society on an unprecedented scale, has even left its indelible mark on, of all things, music. As the music-loving sector of the general public st...
Read full storyBookcases Flying Off The Shelves
As millions of Brits face an uncertain future over jobs, one sector appears to have ‘booked’ the trend. Sales of bookcases have rocketed during the Coronavirus crisis, as TV interviewees look to outdo each other with their stay-at-‘tome’ reading m…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Furious with Kayleigh McEnany and He’s Threatened to Fire Her
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Kayleigh McEnany’s tenure as the White House press secretary may be coming to an end, and sooner than later. The little “Christmas Elf” went and put her size 6 elf shoe in her size 10 Barbie mouth. During her regular press co...
Read full storyA 97-Year-Old Great-Great-Grandmother is Arrested for Making Coronavirus Masks Out of Her Granny Panties
TOAD SUCK, Arkansas – The local television station reported that police received a call about a very unusual situation. A police officer with the Toad Suck Police Department paid a visit to 97-year-old retired seamstress, Minnie Faye Titlaufer.
Read full storyA Hairstylist in Iowa Exposes 317 Clients To The Coronavirus
SIOUX CITY, Iowa – One of the most uncaring, negligent individuals in the entire nation has just been arrested. Spaulding K. Pintucker, 40, who has worked as a hairstylist at the Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow Hair Saloon for 18 years, told authoritie...
Read full storyPresident Trump Throws His Ex-Attorney General Jeff Sessions Under The Bus (Again)
WASHINGTON, D.C. -President Trump has always said that he is the most loyal person in the world. Radio shock jock, Howard Stern, stated that two ex-wives and a present wife would probably disagree with him quicker than the time it takes a gnat to...
Read full storyLGBTQ Community Leader Highly Upset That Some Average, Middle Class, Heterosexual Males With Penises And Creative Thoughts Are Still Alive
Sources recently confirmed that the LGBTQ community across the United States was in an uproar last week, over the fact that that some average, middle-class, heterosexual males with penises and creative thoughts are actually still alive. Screaming,…
Read full storyBiden says boiled baby remark too salty for his taste
Presidential nominee-to-be Joe Biden has responded to a columnist's devotion to him over all other candidates, particularly Donald Trump. The Nation's Katha Pollitt recently stated she would support Biden “if he boiled babies and ate them.” Thi...
Read full storyWas Slim Everdingle Divinely Inspired?
BILLINGSGATE POST: Although a spokesman for The Church of Rightful Indignation stood by his statement that church member Slim Everdingle claimed to be on first-name terms with God, he conceded that the Slim was using a figure of speech when declari...
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