Sources recently confirmed that the LGBTQ community across the United States was in an uproar last week, over the fact that that some average, middle-class, heterosexual males with penises and creative thoughts are actually still alive.
Screaming, baffled, and outraged that there still remain a few men out there who actually have a desire for women (and who occasionally have creative thoughts), protestors in liberal cities across the United States threw signs on the ground, and then began firebombing gyms, book stores, and 'recently-opened' taverns during a terrifying uproar that sent un-biased crowds of people looking for shelter.
Unable to fathom the reality that every individual is flawed in some way or another, and that the human race may actually have to work together in order to achieve better things, the LGBTQ community effectively organized and then began hunting down those they deem to be 'politically-incorrect,"...unprogressive,"...and 'unfit' for the future.
Foaming at the mouth, and extraordinarily upset that some average males with penises and creative thoughts are actually still relentlessly poisoning the Earth with their works of literature, their conservative opinions, and their voices, lead organizer, Liz Fem, 39, screamed at the top of her lungs before stating that the LGBTQ community stands for everything that is solid, just, true, and perfect.
"Women (and 'non-identity' people who have had their genitals surgically sliced off in order to significantly alter their personalities) never do anything wrong, and there is no such thing as an average male who has been pushed around and bullied by society!" she stated, as her teeth grew sharper.
"We also DO NOT define ourselves solely based on who we choose to sleep with," she ferociously added, before punching a lead reporter directly in the mouth for making the idiotic statement that the LGBTQ community is about as mature, original, and spiritually-developed as a bunch of insecure college students who are stuck in a dormitory together while their exhausted parents keep paying their tuition bills.
"WE ARE HERE, AND YOU WILL ALL BE FORCED TO DEAL WITH IT, GOD-DAMNIT!!" she then roared, like a demonic behemoth from the 7th layer of Hell, as she grabbed a nearby heterosexual male who was simply walking down the street, before throwing him on the ground, stomping on him repeatedly, and pulling his heart out of his chest so that she could drink the blood dripping out of it.
When humbly asked if she had ever heard the phrase "there is a consistent inconsistency between what people say they value and what they actually do," Liz became even angrier, went into a bipolar mood swing, and proceeded to mercilessly slaughter everybody within sight who disagreed with her.