SIOUX CITY, Iowa – One of the most uncaring, negligent individuals in the entire nation has just been arrested.
Spaulding K. Pintucker, 40, who has worked as a hairstylist at the Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow Hair Saloon for 18 years, told authorities that he wore a mask, gloves, ear plugs, nose plugs, and even a condom, as he cut, colored, and styled hair.
He said that he was just as shocked as anyone, when he found out that he had infected a total of 317 of his regular clients, along with a support chicken.
The long-time hairstylist commented to the authorities that the only symptom he had was an intermittent burp, which he took care of with two placebo pills.
Pintucker has offered to return all of his clients' money, and give each one a 70% discount on future appointments.