President Trump Throws His Ex-Attorney General Jeff Sessions Under The Bus (Again)

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 24 May 2020

image for President Trump Throws His Ex-Attorney General Jeff Sessions Under The Bus (Again)
TRUMP: I swear Jeffy looks just like a Keebler elf. SESSIONS: How in the world can Melania stand to kiss that bozo?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -President Trump has always said that he is the most loyal person in the world.

Radio shock jock, Howard Stern, stated that two ex-wives and a present wife would probably disagree with him quicker than the time it takes a gnat to burp.

It’s clearly documented that “Trump the Chump” cheated on first wife, Ivanna, and then he cheated on second wife, Marla, and then he cheated on his present wife, Melania, with none other than the infamous Stormy “The Spanker” Daniels.

It has been written in several books, that Stormy revealed that "Baby Fingers" liked to be spanked with a rolled-up copy of the National Enquirer.

And, as Howard Stern so eloquently put it, “It’s a damn good thing that it wasn’t the freakin’ Webster’s Dictionary, because it would have left a welt and maybe even a scar."

And now POTUS has demanded that the voters of Alabama not vote for Sessions in his Senate bid.

He wants them to, instead, vote for his man crush, Tommy “Jock Strap” Tuberville, who used to coach men’s badminton at Johnny Reb Jr. College in Burnt Corn, Alabama.

Sessions will soon be putting out his own anti-Trump book, tentatively titled, “My Time at The Damn White House With Trump – I Think That I Would Have Rather Spent It In a Friggin’ Alligator and Mosquito-Infested Bayou Swamp Down in Louisiana.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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