Bookcases Flying Off The Shelves

Written by Herr Riballs

Sunday, 24 May 2020

image for Bookcases Flying Off The Shelves

As millions of Brits face an uncertain future over jobs, one sector appears to have ‘booked’ the trend.

Sales of bookcases have rocketed during the Coronavirus crisis, as TV interviewees look to outdo each other with their stay-at-‘tome’ reading material. And when it comes to books, it appears size really does matter.

Furniture giant, Ikea, has seen an upsurge in demand. Spokesman, Warren Peace, said: "There is a national shortage of our bestseller models, the Sven and The Ulrika Kaå Kaå."

He went on to add that shoppers can buy their latest bookcase creation, the Greta Thunberg, but nobody appeared to want that unpopular model.

In an apparent book pun, he even joked "that speaks ‘volumes’."

The fortunes of the flat-packed, book storage solutions industry provide a stark contrast to those at beleagured fast food retail behemoth, Greggs.

Thousands of stores have closed their doors, leaving the healthcare system in crisis.

As has been widely reported, the majority of nursing staff have a BMI in excess of 172. The decision to withdraw fat-laden pastry products has put nurses at risk of losing their status of ‘morbidly obese’.

Catering Procurement Director, Anna Rexia, has taken the bold step of urging Greggs to reopen. She said: “I hope Mr Gregg will reverse his decision, as a matter of urgency, and recommence the provision of essential PPE (Pasties, Pies and Egg Custards).”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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