Does Donald Trump Have A Fever Or Is He Wearing A Redder Shade Of Makeup?
White House gardeners are talking about Donald Trump's red face. His face is getting even redder, more so than usual. The sanitation workers trucking out the White House garbage agreed. Everyone else seems to be oblivious of this sudden red change.
Read full storyBoris Johnson to encourage children to return to work
The UK government this weekend announced changes to nationwide restrictions on movement, while still maintaining the physical distancing rules necessary to limit the spread of coronavirus. In a rambling half-hour speech, Boris Johnson listed as ma...
Read full storyTrump Could Have Saved Valet, Secretary From Virus
AP-- Sporting his trademark red 2020 campaign hat with the slogan “Keep America Great,” yesterday the president repeatedly second-guessed and waved off the actual medical professionals standing next to him. Later, concerning medicine, “I like this...
Read full storyFortune Teller Was Talking Shit
A man whose wife took him along with her when she went to see a local fortune teller, has told of how the latter totally conned his wife into believing all kinds of bullshit, based on 'evidence' unearthed by several severely questionable means. Mo...
Read full storyCDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End
Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C…
Read full storyWords You Might Not Be Familiar With
The English language is a 'living language'; it grows, develops and changes. New words come into the language all the time, and are absorbed into it without so much as a blink of an eye. These include foreign words, and even slang words, or words...
Read full storyAmerican Idol – And Then There Were Only 7
HOLLYWOOD – This week’s show had more tears than Nicki Minag has butt cells. The singers all sang songs honoring their mothers on Mothers Day. Julia Gargoyle sang an old Temptations song, “My Mama She Done Gets Me - You Know What I’m Saying?”...
Read full storyTom Brady Talks About His New Tampa Bay Team Mate Rob Gronkowski, Oranges, Hurricanes, and His Political Aspirations
TAMPA BAY, Florida – Tom Brady recently spoke with Dottie Bazooka of Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine at his new Tampa Bay mansion, Casa Touchdown. Brady told Miss Bazooka, that he and his sexy, svelte wife, Gisele Bundchen, have totally fallen i...
Read full storyAriana Grande Says That Due to Sheltering in-Place She Has Gone Down in Weight From 108 to 97
FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – The petite singer, Ariana Grande, who has won just about every music award possible, says that she is feeling a bit on the semi-depressed side. Grande, who stands 5-foot-1-inch tall, told the iRumors News Agency that,...
Read full storyA Golfer Shoots 3 Holes-in-One in One Round
KILLARNEY, Ireland - A 69-year-old retired fishing net salesman, named McVey McSweeney, who said he hadn’t played golf in 13 years, accomplished an astonishing feat. “Old Mackie”, as the lads at the Draggin’ Dragon Pub call him, was playing at the...
Read full storyHarry Maguire To Meet Elmer Smuckmeister In Cow Pie Throwing Contest
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a special to be aired on prime time TV next Sunday, Elmer Smuckmeister will go up against Manchester United football icon, Harry Maguire, in a cow pie throwing contest. With the Coronavirus pandemic virtually shutting down al...
Read full storyMan Thought He Might Have Had An Ant In His Underpants
A man who had severely itchy knackers, this morning, thought he might have had an ant in his underpants. The man, who spoke to me on condition of anonymity, said that he had been sat in the kitchen doorway of his home, talking to his wife, who was...
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